Guys, Girls, If you like someone, why not just let them know?

Why do you refrain from expressing how you truly feel?
And have you ever started ignoring the person simply because you've caught feelings?

Updates:
Okay. I let the person know... bad idea... never again :)

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 22

  • Not so simple. Easier said than done. People are afraid of rejection, and/or have a lack of confidence. If you have ever asked someone out and they turned you down, you would know what I mean. I have been turned down/rejected and it made me feel terrible and like I was loser and not worth. It can really take your confidence away. Not only that, if the person you like really doesn't show much interest back, there is a good chance they don't like you and you are setting yourself up for failure again. For me, liking someone is something I would take seriously. I wouldn't nonchalantly just walk up to someone and say, "hey I like you!". So that puts more emphasis of importance on it and therefore increases the stress of the whole situation.

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  • I recently learned how to stop being scared of rejection. It was the most empowering thing I have ever done and now I can walk up to any girl and tell her that I think she's cute. I've gotten 3 numbers this week alone from doing it and to tell you the truth, when girls tell me no, (which isn't really that often) It just bounces off because I know that they have their reasons, just like I might have for some other girl who might not be my cup of tea, and there are plenty of girls who find me just a bit above average.

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  • Can you please teach ALL women your beautifully simplistic ways?

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  • The society here doesn't always 'speak'. People nod yes, but think 'no'. Will I be judged?
    Also the fear of getting rejected is always a thing
    And also... It takes me some time to know for sure that I like someone. So for me it takes time, but when I say it, it's sincere

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  • I'm afraid that she'll think I'm creepy or dislike me. I'm pretty much a big chicken. :/

    timesofsandiego.com/.../...egoChicken-Wkimedia.jpg

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  • Because the last two times I did that it ended badly for me. It's better to let my actions speak for me and let her guess how I feel.

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  • People have a very legitimate concern, of the other person losing interest by killing the intrigue and mystery.

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  • Because of the ego

    Fear of rejection

    Lack of role models that actually are honest and upfront

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  • Why dont y'all let us know cuz we are not 'picky' as yall? y'all have the power to choose so why dont y'all come up and choose us?

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  • Because people like others who are perceived as valuable.

    Sometimes 5hrowing yourself can make u look desperate and prevent others feelings from developing

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  • Haha ok now I want to know what happened. That update is so funny.

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  • Fear of rejection. Makes it hard to take that first step, unless you think they are sending out signals that it is ok to make the leap.

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  • I wouldn't let her know verbally. I will prove it through my congruent actions. Ie, ASK HER OUT.

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  • Because it can be rather intimidating to express your feelings towards someone. What if something goes wrong and you don't even have the chance to be friends afterwords because it's too awkward? Plenty of reasons

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  • Because many girls have a tendency to act condescending to guys approaching them and getting more of those only makes me lose complete faith in women.

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  • What şf they don't like us back? What happens then?

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  • Well I don't tell them because of rejection but in reality it's best to let that person know your into them so they can already know what you want.

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  • If I like a girl, I will simply ask her out or just truly say whats on my mind. Genuine things like you look really good, sexy, etc. Why waste time instead of just getting to the point, I hate beating around the bush

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  • I do. I have 0 filter. It doesn't always work.

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  • How do you let them know?

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  • Because there's so many girls who just mess around with guys. Girls with boyfriends, girls who like assholes, and girls who just want attention. Society expects men to make the first move, yet when I make the first move I always seems to say something wrong. I can't win. Why bother when I know that I'm going to be rejected no matter what I do?

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  • Because we're all pussies.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I refrain from expressing how I feel because honestly, I'm scared that I'm going to get rejected and get hurt AGAIN. You're 21, so you should know how it hurts to be rejected. Sure, I don't want to waste my time with some guy, but my fear takes over.
    I have ignored the person because I've caught feelings before. I didn't want them to know I had feelings for them and I didn't want to feelings at all.

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  • I know If i like someone! I am like I like you lets go! hahah!

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  • Oh, I let them know. I'm not shy at all, if I like someone, I'm gonna tell them. Maybe not right away, sometimes I feel the person out a bit, but eventually I do spill the beans, if they don't do it first that is. Life is long, but at the same time it's kind of short, so I'm not gonna spend my time waiting for them to come clean about their feelings, cause I could end up waiting forever. It's better to reveal it cause if they feel the same way, awesome, if they don't, I know I can move on without any what ifs. 😛 It's liberating.

    I suppose many people hide their feelings because of the simple fact that they're scared of rejection, which is human nature for the most part. Personally, rejection doesn't phase me, I just tell myself that it's their loss.

    As for your second question, no, I haven't started ignoring someone because I caught feelings, that's silly and childish.

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  • People in general are scared of their own thoughts and feelings and love and anything real that might break them apart. So yes it's horrible that people can't just be honest and say what they mean, but they're scared that either their feelings won't be returned, or that they'll be thought of as pathetic for saying anything.

    Just think how many lives have been changed because someone lets their fear of rejection dictate what they say to someone who means the world to them.

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  • Most of the time, these people are shy.

    But far too often I see these girls who are just dying to ask this guy out, but they think they can't because of their gender. It's important to spread the word that girls asking out guys is not "weird" or "desperate".

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  • The first time I confessed my feelings for a guy was in high school. He declined, but after a year or so developed feelings for me and we ended up dating for a few years.
    The second time I confessed was back in May or something. He was leaving town, and I gave him a love letter. He didn't feel the same and now he won't even return my birthday e-mail, so... that didn't go well...
    The last time I confessed was not long ago. He confessed two years ago and I didn't exactly respond directly because I was unsure about my feelings, so he thought I didn't feel the same way. I finally told him a couple of months ago but he'd already moved on.
    From personal experience, I'd say it's not a good idea for the girl to confess first, especially if she knows they don't have the slightest interest in her.

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  • Easier said than done. Letting someone know that you like him/her is associated with knowing what he/she feels about you. It's part of our nature to be afraid of rejection. In some cases, we avoid a person upon realizing that we already have feelings for that person because we can't accept that we are actually liking him/her. Might be because that person's not your type, he/she's a friend you can't risk, or also you think that person's not into you.

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  • Because I'm scared that they might not feel the same way and then I'll be sad. I'm being completely honest here. And no I haven't started ignoring the person that I've caught feelings for.

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  • I have suffered too much rejection to tell a guy I like him. Last time I got laughed at.

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  • Because I don't want a relationship. Also, I've fallen for guy friends before and it's just better if romantic feelings be kept out of it, it makes things A LOT less complicated.

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  • Agreed, really people

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  • I am very direct, but it scares men.

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