Are OLD self-injury scars a turn-off?

Simple question here that I'm very curious about... if a girl/guy you are interested in, tells you they USED to self-harm (minimum of being 6 months clean), would you run? Would you judge them? Red-flag?

I realize for many mental illness is very taboo, and most people are not prepared to date someone who has struggled with mental disorders, even if they have received professional treatment and are "recovered".

That's fine if it is indeed a red flag for you, but please keep your opinions respectful. Thank you.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some guys might not date you because they care about their 'rep' -rolls eyes-
    You're better off those losers. I'm sure once a guy sees how your inner beauty matters more than your 'outer beauty' he won't care.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Not a turn off at all. I may get some flack for this but I think scars, even self inflected ones can be attractive. They are a story about something that happened in a person's past making that person much more interesting. I don't fully understand self injury because I have never been there myself but some of my friends have. It has never made them any less awesome as a person.

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  • It's a big red flag.

    Consider that not only are red flags, but for a man--a woman can make false accusations that will ruin him despite proof to the contrary. Consider the Mattress Girl. She literally got invited to a session of congress and the accused man was shunned as a "rapist" despite her presenting no evidence, and later evidence showing her claims to be false.

    If a woman has red flags of mental health, dating her would be a pretty bad risk. She better be gorgeous and have an awesome personality to boot...

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    • Say the person was 5 years clean/ Would you have the same opinion even though tey truly are fine and have their lives together? Just curious :)

  • No, if anything it would make me understand her better and love her more.

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    • Aw that's sweet <3 Thanks for the opinion!

  • yes, self harm whether it is or not being currently done is a turn off

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    • say the person was 5 years clean? Would yo still have that opinion? Just curious

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    • i'd be happy for them but it's nice to have skin without cuts than skins with cuts. it wouldn't really be a deal breaker to me unless they still cut.

    • I see; thanks for the opinion!

  • Yes, it shows a complete lack of maturity and a weak mental strength of character.
    It shows someone who will do anything to get attention and jumps on what ever is the popular idea of their time. (Cutting is a millennial fad) it is NOT a mental illness.

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    • I disagree; studies have been done that break your opinion and my best friend's dad is a neuroscientist who has shown me some of his work on this subject. However, I respect your opinion. Yes, self-harm is a weak thing to do, but so is alcoholism and drug addiction. Running away from your problems is never the answer. I'm talking about someone who has OVERCOME those issues though; as in they are recovered, stronger now and honestly pretty resilient. I''m not discussing someone currently in that situation.

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    • @Rainie_ Don't feed the troll. He's just an ignorant prick otherwise he would have understood what I was saying beforehand. Thanks though!

    • Nice strawman argument "He's just an ignorant prick or else he would have understood me earlier"
      I understood you fine dear, I just don't agree with you.

What Girls Said 4

  • No I wouldn't run, or judge them I know people deal with their issues in different ways. If they felt like they wanted to share the reasons and their past with me I would appreciate it, I know it's a touchy subject for some people. My ex boyfriend attempted suicide, I still worry about him till this day because he has got better but you can never really be sure. I would just support them

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    • I see :) Sorry about your boyfriend but I'm glad he's doing better! Thanks for the opinion!

  • I used to self harm when I was younger, got rid of the scars with castor oil fairly quickly :P so I haven't really had any guy judging me for it.

    I would not run away at all if they have scars from recently, half a year ago or even further back. I know what it's like and how much work it takes to recover. So I respect them.

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    • I agree :) And yayy that's great you're clean! Thanks for the opinion :)

  • YES BIG ONE! I can't deal with mental illness because i have that already!

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    • Lol I understand XD Two mentally ill people is never a good combo in a relationship. Thanks for the opinion!

    • Yes... I mean when I am depressed I wish I had someone! But it would be bad thing... I don't want end up like romeo and juilet.

  • I'd feel bad for them but it's not a red flag. I'd wait and see how they were doing. If they were in a very bad place I'd be their friend but i wouldn't wanna date them. I mean i don't judge anybody but coming from a family where my mom had been clinically depressed and always on antidepressants, makes me kind of wary to wanna date someone in the same situation and spend the rest of your life in constant fear and anxiety because of their mental state. It's one thing to be with someone who later gets depressed but it's another thing if you go into a relationship fully aware of the fact that you will be walking on egg shells for all your life. I don't think i could. I am already drained as it is.

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    • I understand; thank you for your opinon. If the guy was 5 years clean and really was changed and in control would you feel the same?

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