I'm studying neuroscience and psychology, but that aside for now, from my personal experiences, both genders, if given the right circumstances, will sleep with each other despite being in a serious relationship. We are made this way as many have answered, and you are made to be attracted to the dominant, aggressive, confident male whose underlying objective is to sleep with as many women as possible. Because they can. Men who cannot often are not worth your time, even though they will be loyal.
The more high demand --> the less prone a person is to dedicating oneself completely to any particular demand. We seek novelty and learning/experiencing new things. If we can do this, we will.
Nature doesn't care about who gets hurt or abused or cheated on as long as it can perpetuate itself.
Hey don't worry yourself... I'm a great guy. At least 99% of me is pretty damn sure that you are coming home with me tonight... The other 1% is thinking about your friend. Hell I'd probably even tap your mother if I could. The male species is born to screw... And this f***ing brother is gonna tap that!
This is the mindset of most "men"... How do I know? ... because I am one of the many men who started off a nice guy only to get f***ed over by a woman. For years I was dead set on revenge and never wanted to be a victim again. Only I grew up... Hopefully one day you'll find a reformed character. but remember this. Most guys that treat you like a **** probably got f***ed by one themsleves so the female species only have themselves to blame. Amen.
Yes they're out there... Here's one right here! ;)
The thing is, we end up walking right under your nose, and girls just pass us by. We're like invisible to girls. Shame because I have a lot to give... You need to open up your eyes to different guys. Guys that maybe aren't as sexually appealing at "first sight". Get to know a good, shy, down-to-earth guy and give him a chance to open up and be himself.
Sorry to say that road rounds both ways honey, I was once a nice looking guy and women would flaunt all over. I then had a spinal injury in the millitary and was crippled, in those 2+ years I only had one girl notice me. I recently recovered and I'm back to before, such experience opens your eyes that society is all vanity based. Life is inherenlty a beatuy pageant I would say, the allure ofobeauty then drives sex from a psychological aspect. And I would agree with the best anaswer as someone whoes lived both sides and is also educated in psych. Women are just as shalloow as men, ans like best asnwer said women look for men in the wrong enviromnemts and there attracted to the wrong facets of interaction dynamics. So I would ask are there any good people out there?
Why is it so bad to want sex with more than one beautiful woman? Perhaps you make to much of sex -- which is really just about evolutionary survival. A guy can love you, and want to be in a long-term relationship with you, but still want sex with other pretty girls. Perhaps you should not try so hard to find that "good" one (who often is just a guy so unappealing, he attracts no other females), but rather re evaluate why YOU are so hung up on sex. By the way -- message me and maybe we can hook up!
I'd like to say I'm a "good guy" but I cheated... sort of. (It's a long story and it didn't happen like your typical movie).
But moving on.
There are "good guys" the problem is, when guys are about 16-20 they learn, really fast, that girls don't like good guys. Sure, they'll like them as a friend, but they tend to go after 'bad guys'. The good guys go home cry into their Twilight books and turn gay. (Or something like that).
More seriously, if you want a "good guy" you'll have to hang out in the right places. A singles bar is probably just going to find guys looking for a shag, potentially cheating on their wives. Where as a open mic nightclub, church (if that's your thing), supermarket, some sort of school (learn Italian class eg), and so on is where you'll find a good guy.
As a real simple rule. A good guy is a nerd (not always, but you get the idea). Flock to where nerds are and you'll find one.
There are a lot of good guys out there. You might be chosing the wrong guy friends, in terms of examples of a typical guy. You are definitely choosing the wrong guys. They will give you signs early on that they are cheaters/untrustworthy.You are missing or overlooking the clues. Keep your eyes open and have a trusted friend help you assess guys you start dating. You might find the good ones boring because they are consistent. You don't have to chase them. They are less charming and more down to earth. Some girls find those qualities boring.
Not all guys are cheaters, and I'm too lazy to read all the replies you have gotten.
I personally have never cheater on a girlfriend, nor will I. In fact, I had a girlfriend cheat on me!
If you want to find a nice, decent guy, find a nerdy one - lol! Nerdy guys will be appreciative to have a girlfriend and will worship the ground you walk on. Plus, you can fix up his nerdy appearance, find better clothes, etc - nerdy guys usually clean up to look like your normal guy with the added bonus of being deeply attached to you.
So, where to meet nerdy guys? Ballroom is a good place to start looking, I would guess 80% engineers (plus the can dance). You'd never find a nice nerdy guy at a bar, or club, or probably even a starbucks! See if there are robotics events in your area, that would attract nerds.
I can also tell you that all of my friends have never cheated in a relationship!
There are good guys, bad guys, good guys who are now bad guys, bad guys who became good, guys who are in between depending on the colour scheme, guys who are broken, guys who are strong, guys who are a subtle combination of a complicated thinking, guys who cry, guys who cook, guys who like video games at 50, guys who paint, there are all kinds of guys and they are all different and they all have things in common in varying degrees.
There's just one kind of guy that don't exist: a perfect one.
Guys change, girls change and people change all the time as well. You have a great big open heart and he will find you.
Cheating is awful, hurtful etc...but its always going to be possible and I think that it shouldn't ever become a fear. Because when that factor is taken out of the equation you can have a more trusting and quality relationship with someone.
let me tell you something missy lol the world has a balace to it...thir are equally as many good guys out their as ther are good girls...dont blame the gender, blame the person...or you culd go deeper and ask yourself why your onli attracting garbage...mayb ur looking for it..i dunno, I'm just saying.
but wot I've noticed with gyals is that they talk a lot of bullsh*t about personality blah blah...gyals want the same things guys want a fit partner with not 2 many bad traits...girls just tend to be relly bad judges of what they can control.
I'm waiting for marriage, so sex is kind of a moot point right now. Actually, I was cheated on and in a pretty emasculating way, so I know how horrible it can feel.
Know that you're seeing boys. Not real men. I think once you find someone like you, (not a romantic relationship necessarily) you may be able to see more hope first hand, instead of hearing it from guys you don't know.
I thought I was worthless and stupid based on how a lot of people treated me - then I met my best female friend - I joke that she's an older female version of me. And that gives me hope for MY future, as she really has her life together. As bad as things get, I have her as my friend; and I know that either there's at least one other nut job out there who I can have hang out with, or there's another sane person in a crazy world. It's calming.
Unfortunately, the majority of guys your age are still very immature and thus aren't interested in a serious relationship. It sounds like nearly all of the guys you know are complete jerks... but believe me when I say that there are some good guys out there -- it just may take awhile (and longer than it should really) to find them.
P.S. Do you know many shy guys? They tend to be all-around better guys than most others, especially at your age.
I'm sex crazy, but I've never cheated. A lot of guys use their sex drive as an excuse to disregard their partners feelings. Knowing how much it would hurt me if she cheated, I would not want to put her through anything like that. But I know my level of empathy for others is higher then most guys.
Empathy is an important word in a relationship people don't care bout others there to selfish trying to protect their feelings. cus off trust issuse/hurt etc but we have to treat others the way we want to be treated then love become easy an not some stress an pain!
If your are hot, a guy will hit on you. Sorry you're hot... Blame your parents not us. But you have to say to these guys what you want or this will continue... Communication is paramount. SPELL It OUT FOR THEM or shut up and get lost. AND Ignoring their come ons isn't saying NO either.
You see all those guys in the bar that NEVER approach you? Those are the ones that won't treat you like this. Yet you often sit in the corner and wait to be approached right? But guess who approaches you. A player. A good amount of guys don't have enough nerve to just jump into your life. For all they know you could be taken, really busy, or even gay. And if it's the first one and Mr. Fabulous walks in while he makes his move it won't end well. If you walk up to him, he's taken and the girl is even sitting next to him... What's the chance she's going to go off and punch you in the face? Men really are defensive and most likely would react in some way. Either it be just chasing them off or an actual fight, a lot of guys will have this insecurity... nevermind being turned down just-because..
Girls seem to think that the only guys that exist are the ones they're attracted to, so when the guys they like tend to have bad qualities, they try to equate those qualities to the entire gender.
In reality, guys are much more diverse, but your preferences are much narrower.
So basically, your assumption that there are no good guys basically means that of the guys you like, none of them are good which is your problem.
of course there are good guys, but you girls have your heads up your butt because you want guys that are hot and while you say you care about personality, your just like men, you really don't so you ignore guys like me who are not that good lookin, but have a great heart and will love you better than anyone else. Same goes for guys too, most of them jsut want a hot bod, even I want someone somewhat attractive, so of course there are good guys, but you probably have ignored them, and will continue until your heart gets broken too much.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
99Opinion
I'm studying neuroscience and psychology, but that aside for now, from my personal experiences, both genders, if given the right circumstances, will sleep with each other despite being in a serious relationship. We are made this way as many have answered, and you are made to be attracted to the dominant, aggressive, confident male whose underlying objective is to sleep with as many women as possible. Because they can. Men who cannot often are not worth your time, even though they will be loyal.
The more high demand --> the less prone a person is to dedicating oneself completely to any particular demand. We seek novelty and learning/experiencing new things. If we can do this, we will.
Nature doesn't care about who gets hurt or abused or cheated on as long as it can perpetuate itself.
Hey don't worry yourself... I'm a great guy. At least 99% of me is pretty damn sure that you are coming home with me tonight... The other 1% is thinking about your friend. Hell I'd probably even tap your mother if I could. The male species is born to screw... And this f***ing brother is gonna tap that!
This is the mindset of most "men"... How do I know? ... because I am one of the many men who started off a nice guy only to get f***ed over by a woman. For years I was dead set on revenge and never wanted to be a victim again. Only I grew up... Hopefully one day you'll find a reformed character. but remember this. Most guys that treat you like a **** probably got f***ed by one themsleves so the female species only have themselves to blame. Amen.
If there is a "nice guy" in the "bad boy" package, I'll die from laughter.
I've also understood that there's this insane compulsion that women think they can change a man. Total bullsh*t, but those women keep trying.
So I recommend the following to you and whomever is in this scenario :
- THINK ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT IN A GUY
- PRIORITIZE THEM
If you want a good looking man with a good heart, which part do you want more?
Try looking for a good hearted man who's attractive. See what I did there... psychology :)
Also : try nerds. 99% of them are very good hearted and they would never try to flirt with your attractive girlfriends.
Yours truly,
A nerd.
Yes they're out there... Here's one right here! ;)
The thing is, we end up walking right under your nose, and girls just pass us by. We're like invisible to girls. Shame because I have a lot to give... You need to open up your eyes to different guys. Guys that maybe aren't as sexually appealing at "first sight". Get to know a good, shy, down-to-earth guy and give him a chance to open up and be himself.
It just takes an open heart.
You know in the end, its the girls who are missing out.
That's right... It sounds cliche but its so true.
I just want to get this out there.
Change your display picture.
You don't need to be showing guys your t*ts when you tell them you want a dream guy.
That's just hilarious.
And 2. You should read. "I hope they serve beer in hell."
Now take that and ask yourself this question.
Women have no faith in guys.
And guys have no faith in women.
You have to be mature enough to find someone that you can settle down with.
And stop with all the excuses and bullsh*t drama that people go through nowadays.
It's all a waste of time, and I hate people who waste my time personally.
So just think about everyone else.
Sorry to say that road rounds both ways honey, I was once a nice looking guy and women would flaunt all over. I then had a spinal injury in the millitary and was crippled, in those 2+ years I only had one girl notice me. I recently recovered and I'm back to before, such experience opens your eyes that society is all vanity based. Life is inherenlty a beatuy pageant I would say, the allure ofobeauty then drives sex from a psychological aspect. And I would agree with the best anaswer as someone whoes lived both sides and is also educated in psych. Women are just as shalloow as men, ans like best asnwer said women look for men in the wrong enviromnemts and there attracted to the wrong facets of interaction dynamics. So I would ask are there any good people out there?
Why is it so bad to want sex with more than one beautiful woman? Perhaps you make to much of sex -- which is really just about evolutionary survival. A guy can love you, and want to be in a long-term relationship with you, but still want sex with other pretty girls. Perhaps you should not try so hard to find that "good" one (who often is just a guy so unappealing, he attracts no other females), but rather re evaluate why YOU are so hung up on sex. By the way -- message me and maybe we can hook up!
a males brain is tunes to think about sex over feelings.., just like we are ment to do opposite..
male and female.. are opposites.. you have to work ur way around that.
ur obviously going in for the wrong approach.
u can't change a man, ull only hurt ur self trying
guys need a girl to sleep with..
but if you show him that ur not that easy, and he keeps trying.. that's where you can catch him..
the longer you keep it in ur pants and he sticks around the better.
guys all think of sex first. give them something else to think about.
show him ur great personality, ur fun and wild side and share his interests..
show him uu have respect for yourself and he will respect you.
there are good guys out there, and I know by experience how hard they are to find
but you will find one eventually..
think of the bad guys as expereince, you now know what NOT to look for!
I'd like to say I'm a "good guy" but I cheated... sort of. (It's a long story and it didn't happen like your typical movie).
But moving on.
There are "good guys" the problem is, when guys are about 16-20 they learn, really fast, that girls don't like good guys. Sure, they'll like them as a friend, but they tend to go after 'bad guys'. The good guys go home cry into their Twilight books and turn gay. (Or something like that).
More seriously, if you want a "good guy" you'll have to hang out in the right places. A singles bar is probably just going to find guys looking for a shag, potentially cheating on their wives. Where as a open mic nightclub, church (if that's your thing), supermarket, some sort of school (learn Italian class eg), and so on is where you'll find a good guy.
As a real simple rule. A good guy is a nerd (not always, but you get the idea). Flock to where nerds are and you'll find one.
There are a lot of good guys out there. You might be chosing the wrong guy friends, in terms of examples of a typical guy. You are definitely choosing the wrong guys. They will give you signs early on that they are cheaters/untrustworthy.You are missing or overlooking the clues. Keep your eyes open and have a trusted friend help you assess guys you start dating. You might find the good ones boring because they are consistent. You don't have to chase them. They are less charming and more down to earth. Some girls find those qualities boring.
Not all guys are cheaters, and I'm too lazy to read all the replies you have gotten.
I personally have never cheater on a girlfriend, nor will I. In fact, I had a girlfriend cheat on me!
If you want to find a nice, decent guy, find a nerdy one - lol! Nerdy guys will be appreciative to have a girlfriend and will worship the ground you walk on. Plus, you can fix up his nerdy appearance, find better clothes, etc - nerdy guys usually clean up to look like your normal guy with the added bonus of being deeply attached to you.
So, where to meet nerdy guys? Ballroom is a good place to start looking, I would guess 80% engineers (plus the can dance). You'd never find a nice nerdy guy at a bar, or club, or probably even a starbucks! See if there are robotics events in your area, that would attract nerds.
I can also tell you that all of my friends have never cheated in a relationship!
There are good guys, bad guys, good guys who are now bad guys, bad guys who became good, guys who are in between depending on the colour scheme, guys who are broken, guys who are strong, guys who are a subtle combination of a complicated thinking, guys who cry, guys who cook, guys who like video games at 50, guys who paint, there are all kinds of guys and they are all different and they all have things in common in varying degrees.
There's just one kind of guy that don't exist: a perfect one.
Guys change, girls change and people change all the time as well. You have a great big open heart and he will find you.
Cheating is awful, hurtful etc...but its always going to be possible and I think that it shouldn't ever become a fear. Because when that factor is taken out of the equation you can have a more trusting and quality relationship with someone.
There are never gonna be any guarantees. Ever!
Don't expect perfection, only strive for it always...
let me tell you something missy lol the world has a balace to it...thir are equally as many good guys out their as ther are good girls...dont blame the gender, blame the person...or you culd go deeper and ask yourself why your onli attracting garbage...mayb ur looking for it..i dunno, I'm just saying.
but wot I've noticed with gyals is that they talk a lot of bullsh*t about personality blah blah...gyals want the same things guys want a fit partner with not 2 many bad traits...girls just tend to be relly bad judges of what they can control.
I like to count myself as one of the good guys.
I'm waiting for marriage, so sex is kind of a moot point right now. Actually, I was cheated on and in a pretty emasculating way, so I know how horrible it can feel.
Know that you're seeing boys. Not real men. I think once you find someone like you, (not a romantic relationship necessarily) you may be able to see more hope first hand, instead of hearing it from guys you don't know.
I thought I was worthless and stupid based on how a lot of people treated me - then I met my best female friend - I joke that she's an older female version of me. And that gives me hope for MY future, as she really has her life together. As bad as things get, I have her as my friend; and I know that either there's at least one other nut job out there who I can have hang out with, or there's another sane person in a crazy world. It's calming.
Unfortunately, the majority of guys your age are still very immature and thus aren't interested in a serious relationship. It sounds like nearly all of the guys you know are complete jerks... but believe me when I say that there are some good guys out there -- it just may take awhile (and longer than it should really) to find them.
P.S. Do you know many shy guys? They tend to be all-around better guys than most others, especially at your age.
All the guys I know are shy. or about 78% of them lol.
How ironic.
Yeahh my shy friends are the ones I'm talking about...my dungeon and dragon lovers...they are the cheaters...how about them apples?
Well, in any case, good luck.
I'm sex crazy, but I've never cheated. A lot of guys use their sex drive as an excuse to disregard their partners feelings. Knowing how much it would hurt me if she cheated, I would not want to put her through anything like that. But I know my level of empathy for others is higher then most guys.
Yess it is higher..i dub you decent though lol.
Empathy is an important word in a relationship people don't care bout others there to selfish trying to protect their feelings. cus off trust issuse/hurt etc but we have to treat others the way we want to be treated then love become easy an not some stress an pain!
That's true....
If your are hot, a guy will hit on you. Sorry you're hot... Blame your parents not us. But you have to say to these guys what you want or this will continue... Communication is paramount. SPELL It OUT FOR THEM or shut up and get lost. AND Ignoring their come ons isn't saying NO either.
You see all those guys in the bar that NEVER approach you? Those are the ones that won't treat you like this. Yet you often sit in the corner and wait to be approached right? But guess who approaches you. A player. A good amount of guys don't have enough nerve to just jump into your life. For all they know you could be taken, really busy, or even gay. And if it's the first one and Mr. Fabulous walks in while he makes his move it won't end well. If you walk up to him, he's taken and the girl is even sitting next to him... What's the chance she's going to go off and punch you in the face? Men really are defensive and most likely would react in some way. Either it be just chasing them off or an actual fight, a lot of guys will have this insecurity... nevermind being turned down just-because..
Girls seem to think that the only guys that exist are the ones they're attracted to, so when the guys they like tend to have bad qualities, they try to equate those qualities to the entire gender.
In reality, guys are much more diverse, but your preferences are much narrower.
So basically, your assumption that there are no good guys basically means that of the guys you like, none of them are good which is your problem.
Agreed :)
of course there are good guys, but you girls have your heads up your butt because you want guys that are hot and while you say you care about personality, your just like men, you really don't so you ignore guys like me who are not that good lookin, but have a great heart and will love you better than anyone else. Same goes for guys too, most of them jsut want a hot bod, even I want someone somewhat attractive, so of course there are good guys, but you probably have ignored them, and will continue until your heart gets broken too much.