Should I even be upset?

My boyfriend is always straight-up about everything. He doesn't lie. So when my boyfriend (23) and I first started dating he said "oh I'd fuck her" (talking about his old babysitter who's almost 30) but later said he was joking. I don't know how it got brought up again about 7 months later today, but I brought it up again.

He said "if I was single, I would" and I said "do you want to be" he said "no, I'm pretty happy where I am" and I was like "would you still now?" And he said "if I was single or if I was with you?" And I said "both". He replied with "no"(about if he would fuck her). Straight-up told me no.

Should I still feel upset about this? I know he said he would if he was single but he did say no when I asked if he would either way. I know that he wouldn't lie to me and that if he wanted someone else, he wouldn't be with me. I feel like he was joking. Would you guys be upset about this? I'm just a really sensitive person. I personally think that he meant if he was single, which he isn't, he would obviously fuck other girls, but he doesn't want to be single and he's with me. He tells me that if he was interested in other girls he wouldn't be with me. What do you guys think?

  • Yes, you should be upset.
    16% (3)36% (5)24% (8)Vote
  • No, he's with you. He doesn't want anyone else.
    84% (16)64% (9)76% (25)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are mad over a hypothetical. Let it go.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMEykZ1l62k

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    • I know, but I can't help but be upset.. He's my boyfriend and I don't want him to think of that stuff. But I did ask him, "would you fuck any girls you said you would either way, if you're with me or single" and he said no after all of this. And he wouldn't be with me if he was interested in other girls.

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    • Don't think about it; enjoy the time you have with him and appreciate those special moments. Think about how good he makes you feel.

    • You're right. Thank you. It's honestly so stupid when I think about it. He said if he was single. I said "do you want to be single?" And he replied "no, I'm pretty happy where I am". So basically he doesn't want to fuck her

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a time where it would be a waste of energy to get worked up over it. You have given multiple reasons why you shouldn't be upset. I don't think you really are upset (though it's okay if you are. I totally get where you're coming from and how difficult it is to be a sensitive human).

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    • You're right. I am a little upset. I just want him to say that he doesn't want to fuck her. I need to be reassured even though I know he wouldn't..

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    • So he's said all the things that you want and need him to say. It's okay to need time to process and heal from things. You're allowed to have feelings that don't make any sense. Everyone does.

    • I'm just such a sensitive person

What Guys Said 5

  • Guys just talk that way wth each other... he wasn't taking into account your feelings, so you have a right to be upset with him.

    But guys CAN learn, you know! A slow process, but they CAN learn!

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  • Of course you should be upset. He said that he would fuck another girl right in front of you. Don't be suprised if you catch him cheating because it looks like he's testing your limits right now.

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  • No he doesn't want it, I was that open in my past relationship, she got hurt and it really showed me how insecure she was.
    1. huge turn off
    2. showed me her true colors, not her fake persona that a lot of women carry
    3. Unable to express my real thoughts, makes me want to close myself off from a girl like that.
    I know that people still look, but i would rather be truthful backstabbing, it makes life and relationships a lot easier.

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  • You should be upset.

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  • He should be upset because you're so fucking insecure. He could do better.

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What Girls Said 4

  • No, he's with you. He doesn't want anyone else.

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  • I have a boyfriend who's the same. Where he would never lie and honest 100% of the time.

    No he's with you he doesn't want anyone else. Never start those kinds of arguments because you just go in circles. Since he's not lying to begin with. I know if I kept bringing something like that up to my boyfriend and acting upset. He would get really annoyed over it since he would see it that it's stupid since it doesn't matter. He's the same 100% honest all the time and always thinking logically.

    It's hard but keep reminding yourself about how honest he is and just think about what fun things y'all do. Try to distract yourself.

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    • Thank you. You're right. If I were to bring it up again, he would get mad and it would cause an argument

    • I've learned thinking about stuff like that from a logical point. Does help you to not worry about it as much. Then over time those kinds of things don't pop up anymore.

  • That's very rude of him, and downright disrespectful.
    I never let a guy talk to me like that, his mama should have taught him some manners.

    Also, I'll share my experience with you, so everything will be clear:
    My ex's brother (who was my boyfriend at the time) said he thought I was beautiful, intelligent, and that he would come on to me even harder if he wasn't with his girlfriend, with her being in the next room.
    Guess what, he cheated a couple of times on her after it, and maybe even before.

    Just... Think for a second. That's my advice to you.

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  • "If I was interested in other girls I wouldn't be with you"
    That's all the answer you need.

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