Is it self hate to date out of your race?

I told my brother about this guy (who is white) that I have a crush on. My brother told me that's self hate because I don't want my kids to be black. The thing is I don't want kids with him, when I have kids I want it to be with a black man. I just like this guy, as of now. I'm only 14. I'm not even worried about kids, to be honest. I told him that, he said it was still self hate because all of the black guys at my school and I like a white one. What do you think? Please don't call my brother names too, because he's reading with me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • We are the same race. Think bigger.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No it's not self hate😂😂 what age is your brother? Honestly, if everyone married someone who was a different race there would be virtually no racism... won't happen of course, but there's nothing wrong with it

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    • It is happening but it is not easy to see as humans live such a short time.

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    • Yes, I know. But I doubt it's happening as much as you think. Think about Africa, do you honestly think they'd be down with dating out of their race. Especially when it comes to us black women, besides me, most prefer to stay within their race. We are only 13% of the population in America so I doubt only the black men will make the world that mixed.

    • When I say races I also mean Asian etc.

What Guys Said 18

  • I can see his point , he is trying to take care of you and your honor and that's cool of him. I am not going to side with ether of you on this. I don't see where you couldn't see this guy as long as it doesn't become a racial thing for you within your family. How it will go over with the kids at school if they find out your seeing a white boy would also be something to think about. In the end this is your choice , just be aware there is more at steak than does this boy like you or not

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  • I'm a black American.

    Out of all honesty, it TOTALLY depends on the reason WHY one interracially date. I do it based on being culturally open and increasing my odds of finding a match.

    Honestly I feel your brother is tripp'n over nothing. You like who you like, this whole "stick to your own kind" thing is some outdated shit. :)

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  • It's not self hate when you date or marry someone different.

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  • No it is n

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  • No its not self hate but you should be thankful to your brother, hez so caring and don't want you to mess up with any guy, weather black or white.
    You are only 14 it's time to concentrate on studies and make foundation to achieve your future dreams.
    C'mon , book are true friends :-)

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  • It is not.

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  • He sounds pretty racist to be honest. There's nothing wrong with dating whoever the hell you want to date. Don't listen to this "self-hate" or "you're not black enough" garbage.

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  • You answered your own question.

    If you didn't want your kids to be your own race, that would obviously be self hate. But if you just dated the guy because you like him and think he's cute? That's just being open to other people.

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  • lol how is it self hate to want to be with someone of a different race? Be with who you want to be with. And you're an rude man to say to criticize your sister for wanting to be with a white person. Be with who you want to be with

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  • Your brothers a wise man. You should be proud of your lineage and want to pass it on to your kids. I don't understand people who don't want their kids to be mini versions of themselves

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  • First of all my 'Race' is human & anyone who thinks otherwise is a Stupid MOFO that should not be allowed to have kids.

    Secondly no and in this day and age you'd think this shit would be a thing of the past.

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  • Can you wait another 4 years and then come back here and re post the same question? We'll talk about then.

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  • Of course not.

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  • Not in and of itself.

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  • your brother won't have to worry about your kids not being black. whether the female or male is black, the kids always come out black, or at the very least brown. which in a lot of people's book, is still black. so nothing to worry about here

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  • It's not self hate at all. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, if you're not attracted to certain races that's fine, I'm a white guy and I'm really only attracted to Asians and Whites.

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  • This ladies and gentlemen why sometimes the victims of racism are racists themselves. \(- _ -)/

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  • It is self hate, your brother is right

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What Girls Said 14

  • No. Self hate is wanting to be a different race or disliking yourself and others just because you're/they're black. I have had crushes on many white guys and if you know me, you'd notice how problack I am. He's probably had crushes on white girls before too. Haven't you, brother? 😂

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  • That's not self hate haha, your brother's just messing with you

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  • not at all.

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  • no it is not!

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  • Race shouldn't matter. It's all about what you feel for this person. As Mulan would say "my duty is to my heart."

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  • it's not self-hate; it's just that none of the black guys at your school strike your fancy. it's only self-hate if you like actually avoid the other black people at your school and don't talk to them or anything.
    and good for you, because you realize the reality of the situation, which is that crushes don't last.

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  • No, it could be considered that if you only wanted to like him & have kids with him because he wasn't your own race & you didn't want your kids to be black.

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  • Nope not all I have a white boyfriend and i have a racial preference but im not self hating i love all people

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  • why have you decided that you want your kids to be black?

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  • THAT SI SO STUPID OMG I AM SO ANGRY WITH THE IGNORANCE ITS ANNOYING HOW STUPID THIS IS

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  • No it's not

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  • Its not self hate at all! You're 14! If u like the guy do wht u wanna do!

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  • No, it's not self-hate. I wouldn't say that you like your crush because he is white, or that you're projecting your desire to be white by liking him. I'm sure you like him for WHO he is, not what race he is!

    I understand your brother's concerns though. My parents had reservations of my dating outside of my race (I'm Asian), even though the majority of guys around me are white, therefore, the majority of guys who hit on me and who I can date are white.

    Race is always a tough issue to talk about. Good luck, though :-)

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  • No lol you're all dumb

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