I am 24 and I've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl is there something I'm just not getting?

Hopefully I don't ramble excessively in this post. I know others have asked this question before, but my situation is a tad unique; I am 24 but I look young for my age. I look approximately 17-22 and I don't grow much facial hair. In high school I was socially awkward overweight and had low confidence , in university I've lost of my weight and grew my hair out in dreads (they are neatly kept and clean), after studying abroad I revamped my wardrobe and in general became a much happier person. Even though I'm kind of a dork I've never had trouble making friends even female friends ( in fact currently, the majority of them are female) after all of these changes people do compliment my appearance, style and artistic talent, but I've never had a girlfriend and seldom get flirted with like my other guy friends do. The closest I've ever come was sophomore year where a girl I was talking to slept with me for a week (as in literal sleeping not intercourse Im not looking for that anyway) but it turned out she was just using me to get closer to my friend. I usually don't get too miffed about it but when I try to make the connection the girl just doesn't feel the same way. I've asked if they think I'm gay and everyone says no not at all. Lastly, when I do meet girls or other dudes who find out I'm single, they are surprised and assume that I'm afraid of commitment or some such so any advice? Ramble over.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope u just haven't meet her yet! Join a club and do something that make u happy and where girls just so happen to be!

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    • Well the thing is I'm very involved on campus, I'm president of one club, lead designer of another, a peer mentor for international students, and I work on campus, so I meet people all the time.

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    • Well it's a start.

    • yeah I haven't even started.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are being WAY too passive with girls, u expect THEM to flirt with YOU initially? Men die virgins with this awfully low odds method.

    What u need to do, is to make more aggressive moves on girls. Flirt with them by complimenting them, and playful touching.

    I truly believe this is the missing piece to your puzzle. I seriously believe SOME of your female friends had crushes on you and were waiting on YOU, to make the move you never did.

    Go out there and talk to these ladies in a non-platonic way. Risk rejection, the risk is worth it!

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    • Thanks for being helpful without being an ass about it. I tried being direct about it and I think you may have been right about some friends already crushing on me! So far I've directly flirted and the results were actually positive! I've even nabbed two dates! The thing is I know a lot of foreign girls and what they do where I'm from is considered flirting but can be strictly platonic where they're from. So whenever I got complemented on my looks, love tapped etc. or they made some flirtatious joke I wrote it off. And with when I met a new girl she would seem very interested at first, in some cases giving me her number, but I would think nothing of it because she would do this and say lets study together, tell me about you club etc. I had no idea they could be potential interested, so from here on out, if a girl seems excited to see me, showers me with compliments or just generally seems happy to talk to me, and is single of course, I will just follow my instincts, like I should have.

    • A guy has to be sharp and look out for potential subtle hints of interest. They can be easily missed like how u missed some hints that u mentioned. #StayAlert

What Girls Said 1

  • Be more social and talk to girls

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What Guys Said 7

  • You're a coward and you don't take any initiative.

    How do I know this? Because you've told us you've never kissed a girl... something so incredibly easy to accomplish. If you can get close enough to kiss her and she doesn't back away, she's going to let you do it.

    Maybe afterwards she reprimands you for it by saying "dude, wtf!", but that's not a big thing. You simply apologize and tell her you miss-read the situation.

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    • And what if she does back away it's not like I haven't attempted the body language clearly says don't go for it I may have been a coward in the past but I defiantly don't lack initiative, I'm not very smooth about it but I do make an honest attempt each time I meet someone. I even make the effort to try something new.

    • I'm perfect but I've never kissed a girl nor had a girlfriend!

      You're full of shit... even the ugly guy with initiative gets a pity fuck from time to time.

  • Alright, you admit that you were socially awkward and overweight. You changed these things and your appearance generally speaking, which is a good step. What you have to do now is boost your self confidence and take some initiative. Be more flirty with girls. Attraction is based 90% on body language. If you're confident about yourself, your body reflects a positive body language which makes you more approachable and attractive. I also suggest you the book The Tao of badass. You will find some interesting advice in there. Trust me. Its only 150 pages.

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    • Well reading is no problem for me, and I already am very confident in other walks of life but flirting. I guess it's worth a shot.

    • U mean 90% of body appearance*

  • Dude same age same story everything

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  • Talk to girls
    Don't try to be "friends" with her first
    Let your intentions be known by asking them out
    ?
    Profit

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    • Lies. Off the chart most babez would say they rather date their freiends than a complete stranger unless ur a hollywood starz

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    • How many did u succeeded?

    • @Keyspirits

      Much better than when I was just trying to be their friend and be as non-sexual as possible to differentiate myself from those crazy guys that actually wanted to have sex with a girl

  • yes... pussy :P :D :P :D

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  • seems there are more guys out there like this than girls are

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    • Yea people say this stuff is easy but in practice it isn't really.

    • there are times i feel very bitter and resentful that me being a guy i was dealt with the card of having to be the initiator

  • First off I wanted to say, props on being strong and getting through some tough times. I look back at my high school days and can't even remember most of the stuff went on. So hang in there, soon enough it will be a distant memory. As for the 'getting a girlfriend topic', in your college classes do you get to interact with classmates. Meeting people at school is one of the best places to meet up. I suggest you strike up conversations with people who you might have common interests with. Even striking up friendships with different girls might help make you feel more comfortable around them. Building your network is what may help eventually leading you to a relationship. I have had many friends who weren't in their first relationship until they were between the ages of 19-24. Please keep me posted, I'd love to help anyway I can. =)

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    • Thanks I actually don't have much trouble making female friends my closes friends at my uni are all girls, I can get numbers do a bit of texting, but I just end up with more friends, I'm getting better because I always try something new but just wanting to know if I can expedite the process. I know I'm so close to getting it but I just miss the mark, I think I misinterpret flirting, both when a girl is interested and when she's not.

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