Would you date someone who had a baby?

Not a kid, but a little baby? Would it matter to you HOW they became a single parent?
Would you date someone who had a baby?

  • Yes, I'd consider it
    19% (11)21% (15)20% (26)Vote
  • Yes, if I was in love with them
    17% (10)19% (14)18% (24)Vote
  • No, they should focus on their child
    36% (21)40% (29)38% (50)Vote
  • Maybe/it depends
    28% (16)20% (15)24% (31)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is that your baby?
    Cause he/she is cute AF
    And no idc if she have a baby...😊
    If she can love me then nothing else really matters

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 25

  • I picked no. Too much to deal with right off the bat. I am interested in getting to know her. Not her and her baby. Can't date her and ignore the baby. Since it is a baby they need constant care. Not interested in dating someone who needs to care for a infant like that. Can't rely on a babysitter every time. Plus, it doesn't matter how great we are, this baby will naturally always be more important to her than me. That means I will always have to compete for time and love and I will always be second-best. If the father is still around, like it or not, he will still be in the baby's life somehow. So the father will still be in the picture to some degree. I am not interested in being the in the middle of that drama. But basicially not interested in being with someone who is exhausted at the end of the day from being a single mom taking care of baby and then too tired or little time left to be a girlfriend.

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    • So does that mean you don't have/want kids of your own? What if she wasn't "exhausted" all the time?

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    • i feel the same way and would like kids of my own. its just that i would like to help raise MY kids and at a time when i feel like i want to have them, i. e. after i have dated and married a girl.

    • @alibaba42 I think the whole "I wouldn't want to raise someone else's kid" is immature. What if you got married and had to adopt? And if you really love the woman, you should see the kid as a part of her, not as some little bastard.

      That being said, I totally understand wanting to have bonding time with your partner before kids are in the picture and having your first kid together. Seems like it'd be a little less special if she already had one (even though you know she'd make a great mom).

  • I don't know. There are probably a lot of decent girls out there who happen to have kids for whatever reason. All I know is that I don't want to start paying my hard-earned money for a kid that's not even mine. I don't want this to be the reason I don't get nice things for myself, like a nice car for example.

    Why can't the father just take the kid and be gone?

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    • Well I don't think *anyone* who's financially unstable should be dating (or expecting their SO to pay for things at least) regardless of whether or not they have a child.

      And you think the dad should take the kid? What?

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    • Why not just pay for the college fund and the car with joint finances though? Or just stashing away all the child support money for college?

    • Stashing the child support money would work. I'd certainly have no problem with the person I'm seeing caring for her kid with the father's money. That way he pays for his choices, and I pay for mine.

      I suppose a joint account could work too, as long as we're spending money proportional to what we make. That means she's not spending more than what she makes, obviously dipping into my money. And vice versa. If she makes more, which definitely happens in the modern world, then I won't buy my car with her money either.

      Another issue I have is that there are very few day jobs that I find enjoyable - I like creative things (I'd love to make money that way but who knows when/if that will be). Most likely I'll have to work day jobs that I don't like for a while, and if I'm made to do things I have no desire to do, I want to treat myself or put it towards something that matters to me. No way do I want to just watch it all go to bills.

  • Yes it matters how they became single because I'd want to know what kind of mess I'm walking into if I were to consider dating them.

    If she got pregnant, told the dad, he didn't want it, she tried to force him into parenthood, so he left, and she became single? She can fuck herself because I'm not going to fill the role as the father figure in her child's life, and that's what she'd be expecting.

    If she got pregnant, told the dad, he was ok with it, things didn't work out, he left, she became single? I wouldn't judge her right away but would still try to get to know that situation a bit more since he could have left for various amounts of reasons.

    If conditions were as perfect as they could be and she didn't expect me to raise or pay for her kid, then I'd maybe consider it. I love kids, so I wouldn't be bothered having the kid around, and my personality isn't that of wanting to spend quality alone time with people outside of sex, so it's not like the kid would 'get in the way'.

    She'd really have to understand that I'm the one who decides whether or not I want to take an active role in her child's life, though, and that I'm not a source of income for raising a kid I had no part in making.

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  • It would matter how they became a single parent to be honest. But the fact she had the baby wouldn't make any difference to me.

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  • Not an issue at all. If the lady concerned was a suitable match for me, then, sure, I'd go for it. Instant family!!

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    • Wow, what kind of moron would downvote this?

    • I just think somebody has it in for me. I get down voted a lot, but I don't give a toss!

  • ONLY if the biological dad and his mom were 100% out of the picture.

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  • Yes definitely, I've always been fond of little children and starting a family so it'd be a plus for me. Even more so if I loved her a lot.

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  • I love babies.. also, if she were young , beautiful and a good person, I don't see a reason not to :D.

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  • I can't resist that adorable bow tie.

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  • Don't think it's best at my age.

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  • Date someone with a baby? I think so. Marry someone with a baby? I'm not so sure.

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  • No. What good are they to me?

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  • Only and only if I myself had one.

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  • date sure marry not a chance in hell. a wife shouldn't have another man child thats just insulting.

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    • How is it insulting? It's not like she cheated on you. What if she was raped or widowed?

      (And I understand not wanting to take on the responsibility of a child but not if that logic is what justifies it.)

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    • i dated a single mom and i did feel that i love her but i could never accept her as my wife. i still think about her from time to time and think that had i married her it wouldn't have been a bad life. however then i think to remember the baggage she came with and her previous marriage and i still feel the same so it was the right decision to end the relationship with her.

    • Sounds like you did the right thing... I think if anyone's on the fence about being with a single parent, they shouldn't do it.

  • yes i would also its a cute baby

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  • difficult question, i would prefer to have our own babies with my future wife.

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    • I guess the upside is you'd already know she would make a good mom. I feel the same way as you though.

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    • Aww sweet. Same with me :) I might be willing to overlook it if I thought the guy was "the one" depending on the circumstances.

    • I understand you. Good luck on finding that special one :)
      I haven't even had sex, because i just want to touch one body, and that should be after the marriage, so with my future wife.

  • no not at my age but most people would consider if they are over 30.

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  • Only if it happened to be mine.

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  • I've tried but rarely did they see it through.

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  • At my age and position in life, no, I would not.

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  • No, I wouldn't. I want to have my own kid some day.

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  • I don't date single moms.

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  • nope I'm a pretty successful and smart guy with plenty of options, definitely wouldn't date a girl with a baby... chances are she's either promiscious or made lots of poor choices... plus I dont think I would want to be taking care of another guy's baby. I think there's a saying that once a girl has a baby, no matter how good she looks, her dateable value goes down ten times. It sounds harsh but this is just the truth.

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  • Depends on the relationship with the father and whether he's some psychotic I would have to deal with or not. Other than that, no. BUT if I got into a relationship that lead to marriage, I would NOT adopt the baby since it's not my financial responsibility.

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    • Wow, definitely don't ever marry a woman with a baby. Imagine how that child would feel, constantly being reminded by your mother's husband that you're not his.

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    • Yeah men need to watch out for that type. Love does make us do crazy things... Is he still involved in the child's life or does he just support him/her financially? Did their marriage just not work out or did she divorce him *just* for money?

    • She's moved out of state since then and has full custody. He's seen the child maybe 3 times since their divorce. I'm not sure what he worked out as of late, but I think he was able to get his contribution down. Apparently whatever made her divorce the first father was similar to his situation and I know for a fact he's not an abusive guy.

  • B and D...

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    • Care to explain?

    • D - It depends on her looks and personality, which obviously leads to B... if I like her looks and personality, I would most likely fall in love with her.

What Girls Said 15

  • No. And not just because I feel they should focus on the kid.

    1. I don't want kids - ones that I've produced or otherwise.
    2. I want a spouse who is waiting to have sex for marriage and the presence of the kid kind of makes that completely impossible.

    So no. Sorry, not interested.

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  • As long as he was a good father, and he has a healthy relationship with the kid's mother, I see no reason not to.

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  • No cause I'm not ready to be a mommy, especially to a baby that's not mine. It would be too weird for me.

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  • I would consider it depending on the circumstances. There's one guy I know who had a baby with a woman who decided one day to go off birth control to get one and he had no idea what she'd done. If it was something like that then yeah.

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  • I would consider it and definitely wonder how he came to be a single father since those aren't too common. However, I'm too young to be a candidate for motherhood right now so I would have my reservations.

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  • I have. And it was too much babymama drama.

    I don't know if I wouldn't because nowadays it seems that everybody and they mamas has kids. But I'd be extremely hesitant to date a person with a baby or kid. They'd have to super special for me to want to.

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    • Would you be more likely to date them if there wasn't baby mama drama?

    • Yes, definitely. But exes are trifling as fuck. And it's rare that both of them wanted to split. Usually only one did, and the other is bitter and trying to sabotage any new relationships for the other. Usually the woman but not always.

  • Maybe/it depends if i liked him and he liked me than i would go for it.

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  • C - definitely C...
    The baby should be most important in their life and they should vet and choose their SO's VERY CAREFULLY.

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  • Been there done that. Not a good experience especially dealing with a baby momma

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  • Don't have kids/Don't want kids. Why would I take on another person's child when I don't even want my own? I have turned down men because they have children and I am honest about it.

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  • I'm not raising a kid that isn't mine, so no, and i don't even want kids really.

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  • it depends on how much i like the person

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  • You do know that a baby is a kid right? But nope I would not.

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  • No. I'd know I'd never be their number 1 priority ever. And I'd really like to be priority number one for at least a while.

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  • I date dads quite a bit, but believe the first year or two is better spent focusing on the little one than dating.

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