Who is right here?

My boyfriend is 28 and im 24 and we have been together 4.5 years and we are looking to move in together real soon. Well i know how much he has in his banl account because we are starting our lives together. Well his mom asked him how much he had and he said he feels she doesn't need to know that and she got all upset saying well you told your girlfriend and you can't tell your own mother i have more of a right to know than she does. I actually feel the opposite was how much money he has in no way effects her but it effects me since we are going to be living together and sharing things. Who is right?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's never really a right or wrong.. there's always just points of view. I happen to agree with you on this. Mom's have trouble letting go of the control they have over their kids, which is pretty understandable... they fear the worse and want to help.

    But boys turn into men, and as men need to take back control of their own destinies. It's perfectly healthy and within reason for him to have his own privacy, especially around his own money.

    And it also makes sense to be open and completely transparent with our significant partners, especially if you're going to be living together. You both need to have full access to all bills and money, etc. Shared responsibilities.

    He needs to be gentle with his mom, but firm and assertive.. and loving.

    But clear boundaries with her are pretty healthy.

    It's when husbands won't share their bank info with their own wives that makes me angry. :P

    ~ Robby

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's up to him who knows that information. The only one who can be right in this situation is him because it's his choice about private information. Let him sort it out with his mom.

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    • Right but i would find it weird like he couldn't cut the apron strings and was still telling his mom all his personal business and thats something i would politely talk to him about and let him know that since we are starting to settle down and start our lives together that i dont feel comfortable with answering all of his moms nosy questions. Does that make sense?

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    • Then he should have just told me thats thw reason he shared that with her that he wanted advice.. m

    • It's okay. You don't have to apologize for not agreeing with me.

      Part of the point I was trying to make is that she has more life experience from which to draw and give advice, if that's what he's seeking. Did he end up telling her? I didn't see that in your post if you said it.

      Anyway, it sounds like you're close to being a part of this family if you're not already considered a part of it now. I hope having a talk about what is between the two of you only could help you both reach an understanding.

      I hope you can find some mutual respect between yourself and his mother too. I think it will only make things nicer. :)

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, you are right. Don't let this bother you. She is still his mom and most moms get "threatened" by the girlfriends as if they are taking away their baby forever.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe his mom wanted to help if ur boyfriend has not enough money

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