I miss him so much, but he hates me?

i begged him over the course of 4 months to come and see me, but he kept saying no and being short with me. He kept being mean. he thinks i slept with other men but i didn't, i wasn't even in a relationship with him. I miss him cause i liked him a lot, its hard for me to trust anyone, i miss him and he just resents me, dont say move on blabla its not working, its been a few months and it feels like grieving, he s screwing other women and won't even have sex with me while im still a virgin at 22. I am lonely and depressed, im so angry at him i decleared him dead, he just said ok. My heart is in so much pain. I went on dates but i haven't find that feeling yet.


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