My boyfriend didn't get me anything for our 1 year anniversary. I'm kind of sad/upset. Should I be? or Am I overthinking this?

My boyfriend and I are both juniors in college and yesterday was our 1 year anniversary. Last night I went to the store and bought some stuff, I made him one of those exploding box thing where it has pictures of us, memories etc. I also got him a $40 gift card at his favorite restaurant. So I told him that we would go out at 10am. I woke up early and got ready and stuff, he was still asleep. After I was done getting ready (11am) I called him and he was barely waking up. (kind of upset about that too). ANYWAY, i'm kind of sad that he did not get me anything, not even flowers. He would always give me flowers or a flower like unexpectedly, I just don't know why he didn't last night esp that it was our anniversary. When I told him about it he said he felt bad so we went to go get me flowers, and when i said no, its okay (i said no because i felt like i was forcing him to buy some and it wouldn't really mean anything if i forced him to get it), and then he was like "no it's okay it doesn't cost that much" and i was just thinking well if you didn't have a problem buying it now how come you didn't this morning? I dunno maybe I'm just overreacting?

Please help :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are definitely overreacting in a typical girly way. You are putting a lot of significance into insignificant things. Like those girls who celebrate odd things like 3 weeks or six months of being together. Why is 1 year together worthy of buying stuff? You could just mention it and do something together. Why put pressure on yourselves and your couple.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You mention that you said no to him purchasing flowers because you felt like you were forcing him to buy some and it wouldn't mean anything if you had to force him. Maybe he feels like you're forcing the whole issue, and that it wouldn't really mean anything if you were forcing him to do it.

    I think the imbalance of significance through gestures was the main issue here. In his mind, he probably thinks that the fact that he stuck it out for one year and is still with you is significance enough and doesn't feel that giving flowers or something would make a difference in that regard. Unless you clearly stated days prior to your anniversary that you were expecting something, he probably didn't give it a second thought (not everyone is into romantic gestures and only do them if prompted or reminded). He may have also felt pressured to reciprocate because of all the effort you went through, and that may have prompted his offer to purchase flowers. Not because he genuinely wanted to, but because he felt he had to.

    I understand feeling that your actions were not met in kind, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. Pushing the issue certainly wouldn't help, either. Then you may start receiving things begrudgingly, because no one likes feeling obligated to "perform."

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What Guys Said 3

  • Basically, you're hurt because you put more investment in an emotional landmark than your boy toy. Women are emotional beings so it's natural to be upset and such. However, you had high expectations and you got crapped on. Low expectations would have made this much easier to handle. Men are terrible on dates, it's just a fact
    Birthdays are the worst for me, I never remember dates well, only my own haha.

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  • Maybe you're just overreacting. But i understand because u want to feel special by him. He may be tired mentally or being complacent with the relationship. I know it's the time where women's bitchiness start to inflate when guy started to do things 'wrong'.

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  • I don't think you're overreacting, but if he always gives you flowers unexpectedly, and he felt bad about the whole thing, I think you should give him a pass this time. Isn't it better to have him surprise you and know that he's thinking about you at any given moment?

    You're gifts for him were really sweet though. You remind me of my first girlfriend. I totally took her for granted. What an ass.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think you have a right to feel upset. It doesn't seem like he made any effort whatsoever to make you happy or prioritize your date. And it's extra weird since it sounds like he used to put effort into things like getting you flowers. So why wouldn't he do it on your anniversary?

    I think you should talk to him about it and let him know how it made you feel that he didn't seem excited about your anniversary. See what he has to say. Maybe he was super busy and stressed about something else, or maybe there was some other reason why he got distracted or didn't have time to think about it. No matter what, it will make you feel better to know what was going on.

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  • I don't think you're overreacting. But, maybe he forgot because he does not value anniversaries as you do, or maybe he did not think you cared so much about it either.
    But he obviously cares about you if he buys you flowers unexpectedly and such, and he was apologetic about it, right? I'm sure if you two make it another year as a couple he will do things differently!

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  • It hurts when you have your hopes up but then let down like. It's okay to feel a little hurt and let him know that. Just don't go over board with it.

    Does he even care about doing anniversaries?

    If your boyfriend is like how mine is with dates. Then i'm not surprised he didn't remember or notice. Some guys don't care about celebrating the day y'all got together. Since the only thing that matters to is the fact that your still together. That's the only important part.

    Though the random gifts or flowers on any random day. Seems 10 times better than getting them on a day your expecting to get something. Since the randomness means he's really thinking of you and wanting to show you it in those ways sometimes.

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  • I think you have a right to be upset particularly after every thing you did to show you care about your boyfriend but who knows why maybe he was stressed out and had a lot to think about, maybe he forgot, maybe he is slowly distancing himself emotionally from the relationship. I think it is best to go to him with your uncertainties and fears and tell him everything you're having a problem with because if you spend time thinking about this your uncertainties could affect your relationship negatively.

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  • He forgot the date. I think it's nice that he buys you flowers on random days. That alone should give him some leeway.

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  • he's already a good boyfriend
    just re-do it. have the anniversary date again.

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  • He might be falling out of love with you. No if I were you I would be upset too. Your expections weren't high either because you knew him for a year and so they were realistic. I'd be really pissed off if me and my boyfriend made plans on our anniversry and he was asleep loooool. Careful, do some investigation or maybe confront him. Dont let it goo

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