My boyfriend has become extremely overbearing since he found out I'm pregnant and its starting to put a huge damper on how I feel about him?

I have morning sickness really bad and have been non stop sick for a little over a month now. There are only certain foods I can eat because of this. He is now trying to take these foods from me because he thinks they are bad for the baby (pickles and some meats). He refuses to let me use even the smallest amount of salt or lay on my side if it puts too much pressure on my stomach (I'm only 2 months so I have only just begun to show a tiny bit). He doesn't want me drinking tea or coffee and don't even get me started his plans for the baby... I really have zero say when it comes to anything. He doesn't want me breast feeding and he told me its not an option. He doesn't like my doctor and has been doing everything he can to find a new one that HE likes (I love my doctor and feel undeniably comfortable with her which takes a lot for me to find that). He said that he wants a doctor that will include him in everything (which right now its all about the baby, not him. But he doesn't understand why the doctor talks to me directly instead of him). He doesn't want me moving around a lot, thinking that it will effect the baby. And no, this isn't our first child so I have no idea why he is being like this this time around.
I'm starting to hate him! That's horrible but its the Gods honest truth. I can't stand being around him because he has me by the throat pretty much. I can't do anything without asking him first.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You shouldn't put up with this. This is not normal, healthy behavior and it's not acceptable. Tell him the stress he's causing you is bad for the baby. As for the rest:
    - you go to the doctor you trust and feel comfortable with. You're the one being examined so it's your call. If he has a problem with that, exclude him from doctors appointments.
    - breastfeeding is great for the baby so if you're willing to breastfeed, don't let him take that away from the baby.
    - you eat what feels right to you and what is okay with your doctor, same for moving around etc.

    You're going through morning sickness and pregnancy discomforts and instead of helping you feel better he's treating your pregnancy like his project, not caring about your comfort or feelings at all. You need to show him right away that this is your baby as well, you're the one going through pregnancy and you will not let him order you around. Pregnant women have instincts, needs and cravings and you shouldn't ignore what your body is telling you because he's being a control freak. What he wants you to do - go to a doctor you don't feel at east with, being hungry because you can't eat, not moving around even tho you're healthy - can at best make your pregnancy uncomfortable and stressful and at worst be dangerous. Seriously, just put a stop to it. If he doesn't change, move to your family's home or a friend's house until he comes to his senses. Your pregnancy and well-being should be a priority now so no need to let his tantrums jeopardize that. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Time to assert your motherly and wifely rights. You may need a couple's therapist to make this happen. First, when things are calm, talk to him about it. Here're some ideas. The My Take says it's for sex talks but it applies here:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

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  • You need to simply sit him down and draw a line. While you appreciate him caring about you so much, your not a cooking pot that gets set on low and stored away for 9 months... you still have your life to live!

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's awful. You have to tell him. I thought at first he seemed caring, but already having plans for the baby? That's the first sign he's going to be controlling of the child too. And no breast feeding, that should be your decision, not his. I would have a massive talk with him about this because he actually sounds unbalanced, like a little delusional.

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