Am I a bad girlfriend for doing this?

I have been dating this guy for 3 months and I really like him but I still wear the necklace that my ex gave me. We broke up 3 months ago because of the distance and the reason that I still wear his necklace is because of the meaning, he had it for so long and then gave it to me when he left asking me to care care of it.

I do not have romantic feelings for my ex but I do have good memories.
My new boyfriend doesn't seem to think is ok.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well technically if the relationship is annulled then I think it's still reasonable to wear the necklace if you think it looks good on you. Just don't harbor any lingering emotions about wanting to go back and undo things.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • We really don't have a right in saying if your bad or good, because personally I see no harm in it. But I could also see why your current boyfriend wouldn't like it very much.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Personally I don't think it's wrong and you're not a bad girlfriend for wanting to hold on to something that you have fond memories of, at least not as long as you don't have feelings for your ex. However, you may be in the unfortunate position of having to decide which is more important to you: this necklace or your current SO's feelings.

    Try to see it from both angles. Your boyfriend is likely feeling jealous or insecure about your desire to keep objects of great emotional importance from your previous relationship. It probably makes him feel kinda yucky inside. Maybe he can't even give you a good reason as to why you should get rid of it, maybe it's just purely an emotional thing for him that defies any real logic. I don't know...

    If you've spent some time trying to understand your boyfriend and feel what he must be feeling with this whole situation and you still just don't see anything wrong with keep it, then keep it. But if you feel like you don't want to hurt your boyfriend and you have tried and failed to convince him that it doesn't mean you have feelings for the guy, only fond memories of someone you once cared about, then you should give up the necklace.

    In the end it may just come down to which is more important to you, your memories or your bf's feelings.

    Best of luck.

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  • He won't and no you're not a bad girlfriend. The fact that you mentioned you have good memories and not romantic feelings says it all. Infact, it's faulty on his part if he doesn't choose to understand. Tell your boyfriend that you love your ex not in the way he thinks you do.
    best of luck!

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  • You're ex told you to "take care of it" not to where it all the time. You wouldn't be breaking your promise if you locked it away in a jewelry box in the back of your closet. Plus that way it'd make your boyfriend happy, and part of being a girlfriend is going to great lengths to make him happy. I understand that you want to keep it, but i don't think its unreasonable for him to ask you to stop wearing it. Who would want to see a reminder of their partner's ex everytime you looked at their neck?

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    • Is still better than having his name tattooed :D

    • True. True.

      Anyway, i don't think you are a bad girlfriend, but it'd be best to compromise on this one. And like i said: part of being a good girlfriend is trying to make you're boyfriend happy.

  • Yes you are a bad gf! Throw that necklace away... Or I hope he dumps you... Cause I would if I was in his shoes..

    It only shows that you haven't moved on!!! And it's not fair for your boyfriend

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    • I will not throw it. I will stop using it but no way I will throw it like if it was garbage.

    • Well then don't use it..

  • No not at all.. you liked him and sounds to me like you and him both had some good times while you were together.. to me it seems you gained his trust and that can be a special thing in it own right.. good for you.. wear it as long as you want you do not have to explain it to any guy what your reasons are for wearing.. or keeping it it

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  • Not at all. I myself still have a Swedish coin i attached to my key chain from my ex, its mostly as a memento. If there is no emotional attachment that is a hindrance to your current or future relationships, then thats really what the object has become.

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  • Because it's not okay

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  • Yeah, I'd stop wearing it. Keep it by all means, take care of it. But wearing it is a bit much.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You aren't being a bad girlfriend, but I can see why this makes your new boyfriend feel insecure. Have you explained this to him like you have to us?

    If you really don't have feelings for your ex, then it's just another piece of jewelry. It shouldn't matter. Wearing it all the time could make it seem like you're still attaching meaning to it and feelings to your ex though.

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  • You do still have feelings for your ex, or you wouldn't keep something so sentimental. Let alone wear it around your new boyfriend.

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  • Yes. You are actually being disrespectful to yoir new guy. You really should never wear any jewellery an ex bought you no matter how nice or expensive.

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  • Should've never said it was your ex's or mentioned where you got the necklace unless he knew and I don't know maybe put it away in a safe place you wouldn't be too happy to know he has his ex girlfriends favorite perfume at his house where she left it just keep it in a safe place I guess bc no guy likes to know about ex's

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