I'm married but I'm attracted to another girl, what should I do?

I know the tittle/question may be controversial, but I please ask for understanding here. I ask the question because I don't want to be a horrible person to my wife. When we got married, I really loved her dearly. Years passed and she gave birth, our relationship became so cold. Her attitude changed giving more importance to her job, our child, our obligations mainly. She became distant to the point that our relationship and our sexual life became irrelevant to her. I tried for several months to revive our relationship. I took her to Paris just the two of us to make it our "second honey moon". During the trip all she did was nag and be distant. I have worked hard to get our relationship back, her attitude is simply not the same and I don't want to hurt her. Anyway a few months back I met this girl at the college I teach, she's not the smartest in my class but she's very beautiful and unique in her own way. Since the moment I saw her I thought she was was beautiful and I noticed she liked me. But at the same time she would avoid me because I'm married. The problem is that somehow we have started a few conversations, and Im really attracted to this girl. The problem is that I'm married, I don't want my son or my wife to suffer. I can't keep living this way anymore, I would love to start a new relationship with my student. Any suggestions or perspectives about this situation?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to have an honest conversation with your wife. Be a decent man, and at least do that. No, you won't get a good response, and yes, your wife will try to tell you you are obligated to her and your children, but - and this is from someone who has watched people force themselves to stay in marriages and destroy their families by doing so - people do change, marriages do change, and those two people who made a promise, do have the right to change their mind, and to walk away from the marriage (not the children) if it isn't fulfilling for them anymore. It is the worst thing in the world to stay in a marriage simply because you feel obligated, that is disrespectful to the whole arrangement. Honour yourself, and honour your wife by explaining you don't feel the way you did, and you both need to move forwards in an honest way, and if you stay in that marriage, it will be a sham, and neither of you can move forwards to have fulfilling lives, if your marriage is holding you both back.

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    • Thanks a lot! I honestly thought the same thing, is just heartbreaking all the time and love I had for my wife and suddenly she changed. I try talking to her in the past but she wouldn't listen, she said the least she cared about was romanticism and that.. those words, they just killed me. My son he is a beautiful boy that I wouldn't ignore or put aside from my life. Is not his fault regardless my love and support for him is endless. anyway thanks for your opinion, it helped a lot!

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    • Totally agree with you. My son has always been a priority to the two of us, and I hope my wife sees that it's for the benefit of our child and ourselves too. I would love to avoid any pain for my wife or my son, but I'm not happy and is so noticeable.

    • It's just a process you have to start, and unfortunately, it's going to cause emotional pain.

Most Helpful Guy

  • We're guys bro. We're fucking wired this way it's a curse it's in our primal Nature to go balls deep in every women we find lol.
    OK I'll be serious now... Don't do it I know it's hard.. I was in the same position, get a divorce first. You have a child to think about. She will rape you in the court room if your affair ever comes to light. I know how feel. I felt like she was sucking the life out of me. I used to call her kill joy lol. Luckily we had no kids, but you have a child so be tactful bro.

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What Girls Said 3

  • stay focus on your wife

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  • Have you spoken to your wife about how you feel about your marriage? You fell in love with her for a reason and it would be beautiful if you could do that all over again. I think if you confront her about it, your marriage could stand a chance. She might not be aware of it or perhaps she is upset about your behaviour. Please don't ruin your marriage just yet for what appears to be just a 'crush'.

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  • You need an intimate conversation and tell her what you don't like and what do you want from her and why she's changed

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What Guys Said 1

  • you gotta get trough to your wife. you're acting on on passion. i remember a scripture saying: The heart is more treacherous* than anything else and is desperate. what i'm say is this: if you do continue on this course, what's to stop this girl from turning out like your wife is now? are you really willing to risk your family and you career for this?

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