Would you be comfortable dating a single parent? Yes/No?

Would you? Or would it depend on circumstances? What about a girl who had a baby between the age of 16-18 and now she's in her mid twenties to 30s?

So guys would you date a single mum and girls would you date a single dad?

  • Yes I would date a single parent
    34% (30)37% (42)36% (72)Vote
  • No I would not
    39% (34)43% (49)42% (83)Vote
  • Would depend entirely on circumstances
    17% (15)19% (21)18% (36)Vote
  • See results
    10% (8)1% (1)4% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've tried it and it'll be different for each single parent but here's the thing, regardless of how good of a match you are and how much you like each other, the single parent's kid (s) WILL get in the way of dating. You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise.

    Even if you're not expected to be a father/mother figure, a lot of times you may not get to see each other because the single parent has to take care of their child (s), put them to bed, can't find a babysitter and other events related to parenting.

    I understand that it has to be that way and it's the parent's responsibility but I'm not ready for that at this point. Last month, I started seeing a girl off tinder who had 2 kids and had a lot in common with and was very attractive but I only got to see her once and the kids and her working full time are making it hard to meet up, not to mention she lives about an hour away. I'm not saying I gotta see her every day of course but once a month is too few for dating. It may as well be a long distance relationship.

    Bottom line is if you have a best friend who's a parent, which I have a few of, and you hardly get to see them then the same thing will happen with your date who's a single parent. Realize what you're getting into.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn't bother me in the slightest. My kids were adults by the time I began dating again, so they were never an issue.

    My boyfriend has a 3 year old son. I knew that going into the relationship and so far, after a year, the little guy and me are the best of friends.

    The boy's mother is not in the picture (she's passed), so if my boyfriend and I stay together, which is very likely, I will be, for all intents and purposes, the boy's mother, which delights me to no end.

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What Guys Said 50

  • No. Being with a woman that has kids, means that I will always be the least loved person on the room. The mom loves her kids, the kids love their mom, and I am just the outsider. It will always be "her" family and I will always be the outsider standing around while her family does what it does. I won't ever be a true part of that family dynamic.

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    • Totally not true - if the person you are with is the one you are meant to be with, they won't be able to stop themselves from loving you unconditionally - maybe not maternal love the same as her children, but unwavering, pure and real love with all of their heart!

    • @Laynierae I agree. Sometimes kids end up really loving step dads anyway :)

    • Sometimes, but not often. Most guys I know that date or marry a woman with kids end up with the woman making it clear that he is not the father, and she will not tolerate him having that kind of power over HER children. I think this link, shows what most men face when dating a single mom than you realize. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10204-the-struggles-of-being-a-single-mom

  • No. No matter how great we are together, I will always come second best. The kid still should be seeing his father, so he will still be in the picture somehow. Not interested in that drama. A large portion of our free time together must include time with her kid (s), so our private alone time is limited. This may make it hard to develop a relationship.

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    • Good point. What if you really really loved her though? Couldn't you put all that to one side? She could love you and her kid equally :)

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    • Yeah :) if I had a kid, I'd love the man as much as the child.

    • If you are with your soul mate and best friend; you will never be second best to her. A woman's heart has enough love for all she loves!

  • Depends on what you mean. Just because someone is a single parent doesn't mean they are some kind of mutant. The only issue I would ever have is the age of the child.
    My kids are 16, 17 and 20. I did the little kid thing. I never want to do it again. That is why I had a vasectomy when my ex wife was 8 months pregnant with my youngest son. So when I started dating, I decided that anyone I went out with that had kids, they had to at least be within 3 years of my kids. I am not going out with someone that has a 2 or 5 yr old and go through all that. I don't have the energy.

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  • Kids complicate things enough already; I can understand two single parents dating each other, but to enter into a relationship with a single parent is rough.

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  • I have in the past, both in my early 20s and again much more recently, so it wouldn't stop me from doing it again in the future. The important thing for me is how well the personalities mesh, and if they are an enjoyable person for me to be around.

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  • Sure I would. I am so ok with it that I married one

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  • 1. If she had a kid that young she's probably a bit daft.

    2. The child presents other social problems such as:
    A. issues with accepting a new man in the family
    B. fiscal issues
    C. baby-daddy drama
    D. rift between new man and mom when she chooses kid over
    him in new relationship

    3. The husband will forever be a genetic cuckold. New information shows how genetic code from the child (Father A+mother) is imprinted onto the mother and passed forward (as her own DNA) in subsequent pregnancies (Father B+mother). Thus, every subsequent child will carry some genetic material from the previous baby daddy. See article.

    4. Further information suggests that the same genetic imprinting may be occurring with every sexual partner the woman has ever had. This occurs when the sperm of each male enters her uterus and imprints on the eggs. See Article.

    www.ibtimes.co.uk/aristotle-right-about-telegony-previous-partner-can-influence-another-males-offspring-1468015

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  • If I wasn't married, I'd date a single parent on two circumstances :
    1. The children's dad and his mom are completely out of the picture: no visiting rights, no shared child education. I don't want to cope with a jealous ex.
    2. The children are some 4 years away from hitting puberty. The time needed for them to accept me. I don't want to cope with an adolescent playing me out against his/her dad and granny.

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  • I met my wife when she was in her late 20's and had 2 kids.
    We now have two of our own. But I was told by a lot of friends to hit it and quit it, so I know that a lot of males will not get involved with a women who has kids. They may pretend to be interested but they are simply looking for a lay.

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  • The only way I would date a single parent was if I was one myself. Beyond that, no thank you. I have nothing against them. I wouldn't judge but it's not my place to take care of some other guy's kid.

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  • Difficult to say. If everything works fine, it certainly is a possibility, but there are a lot of difficulties among single mothers.

    First of all plenty of single mothers are single mothers for a reason. And those reasons aren't exactly positive.

    Secondly the child always comes first which can put up an enormous strain on a relationship like this.

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    • Yeah good point. So, would you go with a single mother the same age as you who still likes to party most weekends, leaving the child with his dad? Or is that a no-go?

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    • Yeah, the girl I have in mind was 18 when she had her kid. So I can't decide if she really thought the relationship would last or if she was just too dumb to wrap it up.

    • Difficult tot ell with that little information, but considering she is that young I would tend to assume more negative views.

  • Yes I would!

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  • No... and I have met some hot single moms.

    But no. I can't morally date someone that I immediately know I would never want a serious relationship with.

    A single mom, she has a child, she probably has constant involvement with some ex... she already has some kid that is number 1 in her life, and you will never be--making the man even more expendable than usual.

    Plus, single moms can sue for child support if you establish a familiar relationship with the kid.

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  • Its Just dating does not mean I am a new father

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    • But that kid will be around and may even look to you as being the 'new father' figure

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    • Thank you :) and yeah I'll bare that in mind! You can feel free to message me too sometime if you want

  • No, I wouldn't, because I'd always come a distant second to her child. That's the way it has to be for her, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it.

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    • Not necessarily? Having a child doesn't effect her ability to love :)

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    • That's what relationships are about anyway. Anybody who demand ALL of your time is quite frankly bad news.

    • No one can have all of anyone's time, but by the same token, if one has to set aside time for their relationship, that's an even worse sign than someone demanding all of your time. I don't want to have to be scheduled into my gf's life. That's a friendship, not a serious relationship.

  • There's no way I would risk losing out in meeting a soul mate by judging her through her past relationships or the past outcomes of one. x

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  • I don't like kids, also if you're a parents before you're in your early 20s and you PLANNED it then you are kinda stupid

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  • I have done and would again

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  • Nah not into that especially at my age

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  • I think I could. I just went on a date with a woman that has kids.

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  • Probably not at this point in my life.

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  • Yes, I would date a single parent.

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  • I would surely date her if she loves me and I love her.
    Children are no issue at all.

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  • I'd be a bad single parent. I can't date someone who'd be good at it. I'd be bad at them too.

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  • Finally, a voting option that I can click! (The one based on circumstances)

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  • Definitely not right now. It'd be a huge pain in the ass.

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  • Yeah, not a problem

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  • I dated single mom... I'll never do it again, playing daddy to some other dudes kid is challenging.

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  • i dated a single mom in the past.. it was only for the sex though.. nothing serious,,

    but for serious relation, i won't..

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  • no. .

    ...

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 24

  • If I really met the right person, I suppose I might consider it. But the short answer is no. I'm young, I'm in school, I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do. I want to be with someone who has the same amount of freedom that I do. A single father will always have major responsibilities and priorities that are completely separate from our relationship. That would be very difficult for me to handle.

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    • Yep, it goes both ways both with single dads and moms. It sucks when one of your best friends is a parent and you hardly get to see him/her because they are working all the time just to support the kid and then raising the kid when they aren't at work. So the way I see it is if it happens with your friend, it'll definitely happen with your gf/bf if they're a single parent.

    • @bloodmountain1990 Yep, I'd expect it to go both ways. It's a tough situation.

    • Yeah very tough. The ones I do get kinda skeptical about are the ones with two kids or more at a young age. It's like sure one kid is one thing as mistakes happen but two or more, especially at a young age is like wow did this person not learn from the first time?

  • No, not at this point in my life. I'm too young for that.

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  • no i wouldn't do it.

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  • Yes, I would. I have in the past once when I was 24. It comes down to our personalities meshing and chemistry. Yes, having a child as part of the dating package might not appeal to some but I'm a nurturing person and if I were to be a stepmom, I would treat them as my own. The only deal breaker would be if the man I'm dating was done with having anymore children, since I would like to eventually have children of my own in the future.

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  • I definitely would, but if he has a daughter or son my age maybe I shouldn't XD

    I usually don't care about age, but that would be problematic.

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  • Currently, no. But I'm only 20 and am not ready to take on the responsibility of children, nor do I even know if I ever want children to begin with. In the future perhaps I would, once I have a little more time to grow up. Most of the time I still feel like a child myself.

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  • No, not at this age. I'm not ready to be a mom or step mom.

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  • I would date a single parent because it gives the child a New mum or dad or friend to take comfort in as well & if two single people make it work, it is so rewarding but there are circumstances too. I think they would ultimately have to be compatible because it's just so difficult, to keep jumping to person after person and the child needs stability.

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  • Nope, kids make me uncomfortable.

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  • I would primarily because I'm technically one. Although the ex and I have 50/50 custody. Yes my kids would come first. And I would expect theirs to as well. In an odd sense it'd be weird dating someone with no kids.

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  • Yes I would. I don't mind kids. As long as there was no drama from the other parent.

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    • Yup there doesn't have to be drama. There's only drama if it's created :)

    • In some cases she may be all cool with it, she may have another partner herself. In a majority of cases she will naturally be inclined not be ok with it, They had kids together, she may feel threatened that the ex's girlfriend (and vice-versa) trying to be a replacement. That is just what I have seen from others. However, it does need to be drama created for there to be drama :D

  • Me = upfront serial dater.

    I have and do date older men who are single fathers but I always refuse to meet their children, despite them insisting..

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  • I'd do it.

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  • It depends on mt feelings but i rather not!

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  • I think it's a lot more comfortable than dating a non-single parent.

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  • I'm too young for that + I don't want to ever have kids (if he does, we have very different outlooks) + I don't want to have his ex in my life, and it's inevitable since she's the mother of his kid (s) = it's a deal breaker.

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  • I admire single parents strength. Therefore, I would have no problem at all dating a single parent. That and I love kids.

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  • The biggest issue is not the child but how would that child's mother feel? (assuming she is single but regardless-to be taken in account) Does he/she lives with her sole care? Or the guy? Are they on good terms? I'm not ruling out single dads but there would be a lot of challenges-especially getting the kid to like me.

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  • I had a two year old and a three year old when I met my boyfriend. We have been together for two years now. I always make time for him, at work I try to ask for the same days off as him. I make sure there is mutual respect between he and my children and they get along great. I encourage them to spend some time together every once in a while like watch a movie or something. But I definitely make time for my boyfriend. After the kids go to bed we spend time talking and being intimate. Its important to communicate. I will never choose my boyfriend over my children, but I'm glad I've never had to. I'm not saying we're perfect, sometimes he needs his space from us which is fine, it's a long process but its worth it.

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  • Honestly, I really would not like to. I have an idea of how I want my life to be and it doesn't include stepchildren or dealing with an ex (assuming there will be some type of drama) but if I really hit it off with a guy who had a kid, I'd give it a shot.

    Another thing that would bother me, though, is that I really want to travel a bit before I settle down and have kids and, ideally, my spouse/partner would be involved with that. A man with a kid is pretty much rooted where he is so that would be somewhat of an issue as well.

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  • Well I am a teenager but if I were 25 or more I don't think I would cuz already I don't really like kids and I'd tprather not get into drama

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  • Yes I sure would! Love is love and if I loved a man as my best friend and soul mate - I would treat his kids like gold.. they would also be a part of me. The more the merrier! 😀😀😀👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

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  • No.

    I have before, and do not want to do so again any time soon. That might change in a decade or so, but currently I have no desire to go through that again.

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    • Yeah, we still are pretty young for that kinda responsibility mind you :)

    • Yeah, I was 18 and he was 20 with a 1 1/2 year old son. I tried, but I am not ready for that much responsibility yet, but I tried. Plus, I really cared for the boy, and he really liked me. But the dad did some stupid things, we broke up. It was really hard on his son. I wouldn't want to go through all of that again.

  • Depends how the situation is. It can be bad but also good reason being 1: this can be a tired man / woman who is tired being lied to, having unplanned pregnancies by someone they thought was truly therefor them but deserted them in the long run i can't tell u how to put your feelings but be very mindful of what you are doin

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