Why should we commit to men as women if they are all perverts and can't keep their eyes to their own women and flirt with other women?

I KNOW HOW MEN GET BORED WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP AND LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN WHY SHOULD WE COMMIT THEN?


0|0
17|31

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I'm not a pervert and am very committed. I'm only interested in being with one girl. It sounds like you've only dated guys that want to pursue multiple women. There are a lot guys that would like to be in a committed relationship. Your boyfriend is wrong.

    1|1
    0|1
    • Thank you for mh :) Good luck to you

    • Show All
    • Dump him. Like wtf are you waiting for. You complain that you get treated like shit but you keep dating him.

    • @tyber1 I agree! time to move on

What Guys Said 30

  • well, you need to stop dating jerks and actually give the nice guys a chance, its time you start doing so, so you won't end up being 30 and still single. Don't generalize all men just because you pick the wrong men. It's time you stop falling for the bad boy and start looking at a guy that can offer you something. The guy is wrong for actively flirting with other girls but i dont see what's wrong with looking im sure you look at other guys. but the flirting does raise a red flag

    5|1
    0|0
    • You are very good at advising her, but most women do not ogle at other men for being attractive that's a guy thing.

    • Show All
    • @AverageJane
      thank you and I didn't take offense, and your apology is accepted

    • That's fine! :)

  • Look, I know it looks like there are only assholes out there, but that's only because you'r surrounded by them. You just have to try a different kind of guy, don't be fooled by his looks, get to know a guy before you invest yourself in a relationship with him, because if you rush into something with the wrong kind of guy, your gonna regret it. But I know there are good guys out there. I know because I'm one. I'm completely disgusted by the idea of cheating, or even flirting with another woman. So they do exist, don't give up on us :P

    2|0
    0|0
    • But your young.. its the older men that are mostly perverted.

    • Show All
    • Do all old guys stare only at young attractive women? I never had a guy ogling at me even if he is old.

    • @AverageJane Thats Strange I get ogled a lot every waking min of my life that i am outside the house

  • Really though... You want to compare the wandering eyes of men to the pandering everything of women?

    Ballsy for sure, but not necessarily informed

    Men are visual beings, we process thought in terms of visuals/pictures. Women are more thoughtful, more considered and entirely more deliberate... When a women cheats on her man, that shit is over like immediately, because we know you didn't just act or even react... It was planned

    1|1
    0|0
    • Isn't that double standards... what's worse? Having a guy idolize other women's bodies like yours is a disgusting piece of *** excuse my french or having a woman talk to other men

    • Show All
    • I know it is meant to be a compliment but I seriously get offended when men pay attention to me. I get the sense they are saying I am not worth enough to left to my own devices to accomplish my career and learning goals. I feel they are sending me the message I am just good to be stared at but nothing else.

    • I must be honest, I'm actually kind of glad you brought this angle up...

      It's a contentious issue these days and one that's particularly difficult to justify reasonably, especially to a woman that a man finds attractive and wants to get to know.

      Men look at women because they're beautiful, yes... Thoughts of sex do indeed come up, why wouldn't they? Yes men do tend to fixate a little from time to time on specific things, take boobs as a prime example. But the fact is, we just like you, it's as simple as that.

      Thinking that we are of the opinion that all you're good for is to look at and perv over is a misunderstanding. Think of it like this...

      When a polite man opens a door for a lady it doesn't, by any stretch of the wildest imagination, suggest that the man thinks that the lady is incapable of opening the door for herself, rather that the man values the woman and knows exactly how important she is and would like to do something nice for her, a simple gesture in this case...

  • Simple.

    You need us.

    The national debt is over 14 trillion. Currently, our welfare system is propping up a lifestyle of being a single mom, with child support and a hundred types of welfare.

    Also consider that as single motherhood becomes more popular, men not marrying does as well, and single men are dirt poor on average compared to married men... because if you don't have to support 4 people, you don't have to work like a slave.

    What happens when the tax base keeps dropping and the debt keeps rising and the baby mammas keep needing more cash?

    The thing crashes. And we're back to the 40's, when men and women actually committed to each other.

    1|1
    1|0
  • You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.

    We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.

    Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

      If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.

      Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.

    • You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.

      Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now

    • Sometimes we are victims of circumstances. I believe I am a victim of men.. and sometimes women but mostly men

  • I've had a lot of nightmare experiences with women , yet I still remain OK towards women , pleasant , will still crack my deadpan jokes , but keep a bit of distance... It's not fair to heap hate on those that do not deserve this. It's easy to fall into negative thought patterns , as it is the path of least resistance mentally , work on yourself & try to remain positive , I do appreciate this can be hard , people in general can be testing to deal with.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Its very hard to deal with a man who has a wandering eye and is on the internet actively flirting with women.

  • First off... no one asked you to commit... you (women) WANT to commit. Thats your nature, and ours is to spread "seed" wherever we can.
    A man staying committed in a situation where there are options is like someone fighting against nature. Its extremely hard to win, but we try anyway and you women don't make it easy either.

    0|3
    6|0
    • well it if its nature then why do men eventually commit? my question is why do we have to try so hard to make men commit to us. Why can't we be just like fuck it but then that would upset our mothers , society and we would just end up being lonely especially after our 30s because we cannot attract any man anymore and we are not married. At least if we are married we know this guy will stick around but if we are single way past 30 then its kind of too late especially if men are just attracted to hot women and would rather invest time in hot women than average women like me whos idea of a good time is a good run and intense workouts.

    • Show All
    • i feel that men aren't to be leaned on but to run away from

    • we feel the same way too darling. Sadly... we need each other... guys think women are stupid, women think guys are stupid (which is true... said so earlier) but in the end... we both complement each other... nature is the true culprit here.

  • Woman keeps picking shit men and then blames all men for her bad choices? Yep and that's why a lot of men don't take women seriously and treat them like children.

    1|2
    0|0
    • Absolutely, she wonders why there aren't any nice guys, well there are she just rejectes them and picks the jocky looking assholes. I am not bitter, I myself am a good looking guy that has no problems dating, but I ain't a jerk and I dont understand why many girls like jerks, maybe it's masochistic thing

    • Show All
    • @Eric644 I wouldn't say my boyfriend is confident he usually says all the terrible things to me

    • But he was confident in the beginning. You gotta stop going for these narcissistic men and find men that are sincere

  • You take the rough with the smooth. Men see stacks of faults in all women as well but we've got an understanding that no one is perfect. There's no right and wrong in life just the proper perspective. Nature gave men a sex drive to keep the species going. It's your job to keep your man looking only at you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • How though? He's impossible. Nothing gets him going except wild women on strange sex websites

    • Show All
    • yeah but if he tells me he loves me and stay with him despite his roving eyes what should i do just tell him I cant?

    • Honey it's your life. Do whatever you want. You can date who you want. Make love to whomever you want. Your guts are your subconscious telling you something. If you get a bad feeling its just that telling your concious mind you need to pay attention to something important. Don't make a template of a perfect life then try and live up to it. That's insanity. You'll always fall short of your own mark. Then you'll feel worthless and depressed every moment your alive. Instead congratulate yourself on every little step forward you take in life. They say the unknown is scary but it's also very exiting. I left the country at 15 with 100 quid in my pocket my dad loaned me. No job no destination in mind. Just a pair as big as watermelons and an unshakeable faith in myself. By the next week I had a beautiful girlfriend, a job and a group of pals. You need to do what's right for you. Your the only one that matters in your life

  • funny story you dont commit. women file for the vast majority of divorces.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Because the guy usually does stuff to f up the marriage.

    • Show All
    • Optimistic owner I commit to my career but the reason I want to run away from spending too much over time at work it being office or retail is I get harassed by my men bosses and coworkers and to be honest I get very comfortable. I was working at Walgreen Corporate and two older men kept making sexual comments to me every day I went in to work. I complained to their boss but he wouldn't do anything because he is a man and supports men and wouldn't fire men for some stupid women.. I did not take it to HR because I was scared and they scared me pretty bad. I dressed very conservatively but did not prevent them from harassing me and one of them was married and the other over 40 years old.. another instant of being harassed at work was by coworkers at every single job I have had up to date where men chased me even when I claimed that I had a boyfriend and would you leave me alone and I would not go out on a date. Then right now I work at a mall and guess what? harassment too

    • i mean uncomfortable

  • Maybe you shouldn't accuse all men of being bastards when you just have bad taste in men.

    1|1
    0|0
    • I do not have a bad taste in men. i have not seen any good men as of yet

    • Show All
    • I failed out of college in large part to help a friend of mine pass. She was born with autism and developed schizophrenia as a young child. Her parents consisted of a child molester and a narcissist. Her sister tried to murder her and she was raped by her best friend. I saw in her a lot of potential, she was smart and determined. She was going through a rough patch (which says something with that kind of background) and her life was spiraling out of control. As she became more stressed her mental capacities began to degrade and it became harder and harder for her to learn. I stayed with her for hours at a time, at times helping tutor her until the sun rose. And when I wasn't tutoring her I was supporting her as a friend. I made myself the person she could count on whenever she needed help with anything. I failed, she passed barely. But it was enough of a victory that it helped her rebound. She graduated this month.

    • Her entire life she was told that she wasn't good enough. When she went to college she was told that college wasn't for people like her. I was able to help her prove them wrong and I'll be honest I probably prevented her from killing herself.

      So I take offence when you say that there are no good guys out there. You're not looking hard enough. That's the end of the discussion.

  • Why should we commit to women as men if they are all perverts and can't keep their legs closed and spread them for other men?

    That's how you sound.

    1|1
    1|0
    • lol i think i dont sound like that i think i sound more like why should i commit to a man who is interested in threesomes while i can go be a whore myself

    • Show All
    • Well, you said it your self, "should" not "must". Just don't and be merry, or your definition of merry.

    • I agree to that completely I am saying why does society like to frown upon us single women at older age

  • Quit dating men who do that and develop a better sense of taste?

    1|1
    0|0
  • well, you girls don't exactly have a pure track record either; You're just better at hiding it.

    0|2
    4|0
  • Naturally a guy gets bored if the girl has nothing to offer except for looks.

    2|3
    4|0
    • Why did you get down votes? This is true.

    • Show All
    • What's your definition of pretentious

    • I am not pretentious the reason people think I am pretentious is I am very guarded. I have to defend myself how else can women like me make it to the house without being approached by four million men

  • No one is forcing you to commit to a man. And most decent guys will probably not want a woman who has a reaction like this when he just looks at another woman.

    2|2
    5|0
    • Well shouldn't he respect me enough to not want to upset me like this.

    • Show All
    • Are you sure that its possible that men are not actually just into hookers and slutty woman my definition of slutty is someone who intentionally uses her assets to get a guy to sleep with her

    • It is possible.

  • Is someone holding a gun to your head forcing you to commit to a man?

    2|1
    0|0
  • I know that I don't do that, I keep my eyes to only one woman

    1|0
    0|0
  • Not all guys are like this. Cut the generalizing. 😂
    You're clearly picking the wrong dudes. You'll find a guy who doesn't flirt with other girls, dw.

    1|0
    0|0
    • is that even possible? The nice guys are probably hidden somewhere and quiet compared to bad guys

    • Show All
    • @Eric644 I do not blow off nice guys. I have tried being nice to nice guys but they I am mocking them by being nice to them

    • Try letting these nice guys know that you are not being mean to them and that you are interested in them, something good might happen😀

  • A woman as fine as you should'nt have problems keeping attention!

    1|0
    0|0
  • You sure you two are exclusive and it's not just you calling him your boyfriend while he's just 'seeing' you? Your relationship sounds like one of those 'My girl's been with me for 2 years, whereas I've been with her for 4 months' sort of relationships.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Look don't touch, is the policy.

    One's ability to find attraction in others doesn't automatically switch off when someone is in a relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Everybody looks at other people when they're in a relationship. You don't suddenly stop being sexually attracted to people because you're in a relationship. Anybody who says otherwise is a liar. The important thing is that you don't cheat.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't know you tell me? Your a woman

    0|0
    0|0
  • Women cheat just as much as men, so why should WE commit to you?

    0|0
    0|0
    • You chose to sleep with bad boys, so frankly, you are lying in the bed you made.

    • Show All
    • That's great,! But that makes me think the odds of landing a decent guy is low so why take the risk...

    • I said the same thing before I met her.

  • Then don't.. and let your biological clock tick away...

    0|0
    0|0
    • Why so I can cry in my bedroom alone like Bridget Jones

    • Well you can also give the nice guys a chance and stop falling for bad boys, you should do it now before it is too late because by the time you are 30 something and finally decide to give the nice guys you overlooked a chance, they will not give you a chance because they will feel like "now that she is getting old and is desperate now she is giving me the time of day... Um nah, I'll just keep on dating younger girls"

  • not all men are this way.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I have not seen a good man to change my opinion as of yet

    • Show All
    • Agree!!! I'm not necessarily a religious or monogamous guy, but if I'm in a relationship with a woman, I would never cheat on her. We all need to draw the line somewhere, there is a difference between being single and having casual sex and being in a relationship. Once you are in a relationship, you have made a commitment to that one person.

    • Plus it is never right to hurt a woman that loves you

  • Since when are girls actually faithful to guys?

    0|1
    3|0
    • well you are right not all women are faithful but I dont think women are as dirty as men when it comes to cheating. I think women's idea of being unfaithful to men is talking to other guys or thats guys idea of it. I think men take it too far by going on sex websites and talking to hookers etc...

  • yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    0|0
    0|0
  • Uh, you don't.. You commit to a man who commits to you.

    4|2
    0|0

What Girls Said 17

  • Change "we" to "I"; you're speaking for yourself here.
    There are plenty of males out there that are capable of committing to a monogamous relationship with a female and being perfectly content.
    If your man gets bored and go off to other girls, then it's just not a relationship that's gonna work. But if this happens, you shouldn't go off and blast all men everywhere because of your experience because not all men are like that. Get your shit together, dust yourself off, and avoid that kind of guy next time.

    2|1
    0|0
    • My question is aren't all men like this. How can I avoid them when they are all like this

    • They're not all like that. There are some genuinely good guys out there. How can you avoid the true jerkwads? I don't know. Do something different to what you're doing now, I guess.

  • um not all men are perverts. #generalisation418
    who said all women can keep their eyes to themselves as well?

    1|3
    1|0
  • Then we have those men that wonder why even though they're a good catch, women like you still go for the bad guys. ... It's a variation, not all men fit the label you just put on them.

    1|5
    0|0
    • Well I obviously do not know if good men exist. You are talking to a woman who was once in a relationship with a man who made her pay for all the dates and tried to get her to buy him a car. I am just saying I think I am worthy but I do not think i will ever get married or find a man and will end up lonely if I refuse bad men.

    • made you pay for his dates!!! what a jerk, from my observation you keep falling for the bad boy, you have to open up your field and stop going for the ex jock type

  • You're being really dramatic. Ohhhh maiiiii gahhhhh
    -____-

    And if you really feel this way, then it's better for you to not commit. Better for men who want to be with a sensible woman who doesn't demonize him.

    0|2
    1|0
    • I'm not demonizing him you think its dramatic because it hasn't happened to you! The man you love didn't go behind your back to sexually flirt with women

    • The man I loved and gave my virginity to, or pressured me into giving in, was cheating on me with multiple women.
      He denied it, begged for me back, my dumbass forgave him, and he did it again.
      I had random girls texting me saying how stupid I was to be sending him cute little texts, while he spent the night with them.

      My second boyfriend, he lied to me from the start. And he got his supposed ex girlfriend, which it turned out they were together, and he got her pregnant.

      I admit with my 1st boyfriend I went nuts. But 2nd. Eh. I figured it wasn't worth it. Holding grudges is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to fall.

      And then the both still have the audacity to ask for me back.

      Go ahead and be bitter for now. But it will subside. And you will move on. Maybe not in a day. Month. Or even a year. But eventually.

  • Someone's going through a break up.

    3|2
    1|0
    • I am not going through break up I was trying to decide whether he would repeat his offense of being into other women and if I should just treat my relationship with him lightly.

    • Sounds to me like you're going through a break up.

  • Oh goodness. I wouldn't say that they are all perverse. Just the ones who spend their whole lives on the Internet.

    1|0
    0|0
  • The real question is why you need to use all caps.

    You know not all guys do that. You're just upset and frustrated, and want to believe all guys are evil, and for everyone to agree with you. Unfortunately for you, that's not the case.

    0|3
    2|0
    • The caps was an accident on my part. I am not that angry but I am a little frustrated at some aspects in my relationship. I am frustrated that once I caught my boyfriend on AFF he went there on again this month and said he did not do or meet up with anyone but was just there to look at women and that was a long time ago because I was on okcupid and pof only because he was flirting with my girl friend and I noticed that he was messaging later on many times asking her to hang out with him. He said he was doing that to spite me. I can tell you for certain that I broke it off once with him then got back with him after him begging me then he broke it off with me and then i asked him to be with me because I was lonely and that took a lot of persuading. In other words this relationship has not been the most stable one.

    • Show All
    • But we had history of almost two years together. I don't know howd I be able to trust a man again

    • Look, really, two years is not that long. People break up after spending decades together, and people recover from that.
      I'm going to be blunt here. You're making excuses, because you're scared. That's understandable, because it is scary. But by doing that, you're only hurting yourself. He's never going to change, and you're letting him walk all over you.

  • Not all men are like this. In fact I'm sure some women are like this too. It has nothing to do with gender and has a lot to do with the individual.

    Find a man who appreciates you and knows your worth.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Is that even possible? I mean is finding a man like studying for an exam?

    • It is possible, maybe you've just been looking in the wrong place.

      The right man won't have to be told how to be, the right man will do what's right without ever being told. You'll know your importance once you have him In your life

  • Not all men are like this. Seek one who treats you better and values you more.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Yes, don't go for a guy who likes you, go for a guy who will value you. If you need help further evaluating the word "value", think about your phone for example, it probably has tons of family photos ( if not, just assume you loose family photos ), you drop your phone or something and all these photos are gone. Almost irreplaceable, find a man who thinks of you like this. Not a man who looks at you like a ripped t-shirt, a ripped t-shirt can be replaced, family photos can't.

    • I wonder thought because my boyfriend tells me all men are like this. He claims that I will never find any man who will not think other women are attractive and men are attracted to other women and like butts of other women and stuff. I am not a jealous woman but I would think that a man that would commit to me would find my sexually attractive is that not the case? Do men just commit to whatever woman who will be with them and then search for sexual things else where?

    • He should find you sexually attractive. He may feel an initial moment of attraction to other women, but I have known and dated men who will keep their eyes off other women out of respect for their partner. It is out there. It is possible. It is not unreasonable.

      He should never seek sexual things with another woman. That's disloyal and called cheating. Men do get dumped for that and should expect to get dumped for that.

  • Women do the same thing all humans do this as long as we have eyes we can recognize the attractive features in the sex we are attracted to.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You shouldn't you are only 26 years old

    1|0
    0|0
  • All this talk about commitment ! I mean shouldn't u commit at the very least a little bit if u call someone your GIRLFRIEND? I mean u had the choice to stop at:
    -1st date
    -2nd date
    -3rd date
    -I'm seeing someone
    -I'm dating
    Then -girlfriend- !!!
    I mean have a little respect for women, were not just holes where u can "spread your seed"

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's how my boyfriend saw women as seeds :(

    • I'm sorry Norah :( I hope it works out and he stops looking at other women, and if he doesn't, i dont think he deserves you! Like i said, he had many opportunities to be straight out honest with you! Stay strong girl and fight for what you want! :*

      We live in a world where gender equality is characterised as feminism! I guess it's still too much to ask for some respect after all the shit we go through every month and during at least 10 months when we make children! I'm annoyed by societal views on women, and I'm glad it's starting to change :)

    • I am very strong advocate for women having come from a background where my opinion as a woman was always scoffed at and my dad always yelled at us women like we deserved it for being women

  • I am sorry if the men in your life have caused you pain. Not all men are cheating, wanker perverts. I don't commit to someone unless I trust them. Trust is earned, and I try to earn their trust as well.

    1|2
    0|0
  • who cares if they look at other women, it's completely natural to check people out regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not

    0|0
    2|0
    • true but how would he like me to go stare at other mens dicks and butts

  • It depends. My boyfriend looks at other girls. It hurts me but I know its natural. If where on the train I see him look at this cute black girl. This makes me even more worried because he's black and I'm white therefore I always think he might like those types better then me.
    I now get that I have to deal with it. Because majority of men will look. It's natural for me to feel jealous but it doesn't make me right because I feel this way. I wouldn't say looking at girls has anything to do with getting bored of relationships.. My boyfriend watches Porn I think and its all about the variety for them or so he says. As long as I'm his only girl I'm happy.
    I think u need to understand that nowadays it's more easier for guys to try multiple girls at once because of tinder and other shit that's why it seems there are more peverted guys.

    1|0
    0|0
  • When I was younger, I used to be attracted to girls because guys are so superficial and no guy is going to ever marry me anyways. Now, I am celebrate or asexual because I suffer from emotional abuse constant especially from my mom. Guys stare at my mom and ignore me when they see me. I find more women attractive than men still because most women are all cute.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Looking is fine, acting on it is not. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean everybody else is suddenly ugly. I've been with my guy a number of years now, but I see other guys who look good. I just look for a second, it's not like I'm staring and making eye contact to give them signals to come over.
    As long as you're respectful enough not to be fully checking people out, and looking at others while you're with your partner and they can see (that's very disrespectful) then it's fine.

    0|0
    0|0
    • But do you call them sexy.

    • Maybe in girl talk with my friends, we'll joke around and make jokes about hot guys, but that's about it. I would never tell another guy he is sexy while I'm commited, ever. Most I'd do is agree with friends that somebody is hot.

Loading...