Is it a turn off that I've never dated before?

I'm a 20-year-old guy at college that has absolutely no sexual experience whatsoever. Is this a turn off for girls my age?

Updates:
I guess to clarify, I have no experience with romantic/sexual relationships, including both the physical and emotional aspects.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on the girl you're with.

    1. Turn off because you don't know what you're doing

    2. Neutral- It doesn't matter

    3. Turn on - some girls actually like inexperienced guys

    For me I don't care either way

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What Girls Said 19

  • As long as you don't act entirely insecure about the whole process and are constantly making it known that you have no idea what you're doing, then actually it's a turn on. We don't want to feel like we're doing all of the leading and teaching while you're a scared child. Have confidence in yourself and the experience. I think it's a great thing that you don't have random sex for sport like a lot of guys.

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  • i think from a strictly biological, crazy mental ways, stand point, yes, alittle.

    Girls want a guy that is wanted by others.

    Secondly, girls like to know that that wanted guy only wants them, and chooses them above the rest.

    kind of pathetic but I think at some primitive level it makes some kind of impact on how attracted we are to a male.

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  • Of course not! It would be really sweet (albeit rare) if you ended up with a girl who was equally inexperienced. More experienced girls would also value the 'innocence' of someone who was new to the dating scene.

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  • Not if your open about it. If you start dating someone and the two of you get to a place where you think it might happen. being open about your inexperience and letting her be a part of that will eb a huge turn on for her. If you stumble through your first experience acting like you've done this before and NOT being honest, she'll likely know something isn't right and will be turned off.

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  • It's far better than someone who has really been around.

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  • NO! I know a couple guys like that, if ur confident, head on ur shoulders and you gotta life and you respect the lucky lady ur dating tonight... no problem! :) just don't be afraid to ask other people or get advice about sex and stuff, so that when you do start getting experience, ur not lost completely. but I wouldn't worry about it, hey nothing wrong with starting off clean :) and no stds (Y) lol

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  • actually I think that that is kind of cute

    i mean most guys I know have gone out with many many girls and that is not such a good thing

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  • No way! Girls who are saving themselves for marriage would really appreciate and love to find a guy like you. Its sweet and cute, I don't believe I'm only speaking for myself either.

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  • If I like him...don't care

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  • not for me. the guy I'm crushing on has never had a girlfriend and I've never wanted someone more...

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  • It is sooo NOOOOOOT a turn off! A lot of girls like an un-experienced guy.

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  • NOE ITS CUTE .!

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  • That's amazing that ur alive and out there! It's sweet and lots of girls find that attractive

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  • No. One of my college friends is 20 and never had a girlfriend and then he met my best friend (who has never had a boyfriend) and they seem to appreciate the fact that they don't have anyone else to compare to.

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  • Very much a turn on. I never have to wonder if you're comparing me to your past girls. But I'm a jealous person.

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  • It's okay. One day when you want to date you will find a good girl to date.

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  • Is a good thing. You will find a good girl and married her before doing something else.

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  • its hard to find a guy these days that has'nt had a sexual experience. ithink its a turn on , I'm sure you will find a good girl to have that experience with and you guys can both share that special moment together

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  • I don't think its a turn off, it's a good thing, no girlfriend likes to imagine their man with another woman

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What Guys Said 7

  • Your not alone dude, I just turned 22 and I've been single my whole life as well, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin. Man it just f***in' sucks because us guys have all the pressure and we have to be the ones to make the first move on the girl, start a conversation, ask her out, overall, initiate everything with them. SERIOUSLY, I FUCKIN' HATE WHEN PEOPLE AND SOCIETY SAY TO US GUYS "MAN UP, GROW A PAIR, etc." Sexist phrases like that, seriously I feel like f***in' punching somebody in the face if they say that to me, I may not be man enough to get a girlfriend and approach them, start talking to them first, but I am man enough to stand up and fight for my respect, like I may not have game or success with the ladies, but I have respect for myself. I asked this one dude as to why us guys have to do all or most of the work in order to get a girl, I asked him if it is because we are the more dominant and stronger sex, and here is what he said: "F*cking grow a pair. Seriously, man up. You need to have a spine, NO ONE respects a door mat, and you'll NEVER get a relationship without respect. Realize that YOU are in control of your own destiny and women don't OWE you sh*t, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.

    You gotta EARN it. EARN it by realising that you don't NEED to have a chick to validate your existance, realize that people try to help you all the time, but your LAZY ass ALWAYS blames society instead of taking initiative and making yourself more attractive the opposite sex. ADAPT! Don't cry about women not wanting you, find out what they want and use that to make yourself more attractive. Oh and be a Man.

    I FEEL LIKE KILLING THAT SON OF A BITCH, I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE HIM SQUEAL AS I BREAK HIS FUCKIN' NECK!

    sorry for my psychotic attitude, it's just I really hate it and it get's really annoying when people say those sexist phrases or quotes such as "man up, grow a pair". Because even if you are a man and you have balls, you are still going to get rejected. Yes that's life, but for a lot of us guys, it's not because we are scared of approaching girls or asking them out, IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T KNOW HOW!

    Because in Life, knowing how to do something if half the battle, the other half is getting out there and doing it, but of course it is easier said than done. I f***in' hate the status quo in our society that us guys have to initiate everything with girls, sure that's the way it is, I can accept the way things are, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

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    • Don't be so bitter, man. girls aren't out there rating your every move. (not the worthwhile ones, anyway) girls are people. basically, if you try, you'll find a girl for you. you will get girls(plural) if you follow that guy's advice and be an asshole, which is probably what he is, but I don't suggest becoming something you're not just to get girls. if you want a girl who loves you for you, just get comfortable with yourself and just be. just don't miss your chance.

    • Show All
    • This comment is F***ing HILARIOUS! What are you going to do...reach through the computer screen?

    • Fuck no, I told him if I saw him in person, like in real life, face to face, I would love to punch his lights out for saying that to me

  • No, not a turn off. First of all, you wouldn't be talking about your romantic/sexual history within the first few dates with a new girl, so how would she know? Secondly, it's nothing to be ashamed of. The right girl, when it's finally time to get closer emotionally/physically, will appreciate you for who YOU are and how YOU turn each other on.

    In that moment, it's just you and her. Nobody else matters. Best of luck.

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  • Even if a guy does not have Asperger Syndrome, is a NT, and is just shy or has social anxiety, has little or no friends, not outgoing, it will hurt him a lot more than a girl who is shy and has social anxiety, little or no friends because our society and culture expects guys, males to be more assertive and be the go-getters, like us guys literally have to be the ones to find a girlfriend, girls don't actually have to find a boyfriend, it just happens for them. In reality, it is much more difficult for a man to meet a woman, or for a man to meet a potential girlfriend than it is for a woman to meet a man, or for a woman to meet a potential boyfriend. Women are able to approach men, take the initiative and ask them out, and are also able to wait to be approached or wait to be asked out. Men can not wait and rely on women to approach and ask for the date because men WILL NEVER BE ASKED OUT, well at least very rarely, because in modern times, the present, I've heard of the gender roles being reversed, but it is still very rare, like a 1 in a Trillion chance of that happening. Men have to do everything or just about everything in order to get anything with a woman. When a man gets rejected he has to shrug it off and his friends would tell him to “be a man”. On the other hand, if a woman gets rejected, she would most likely take it as a personal insult on her inner child and her friends will comfort her. I'm not saying that me myself personally will go seek my friends after being rejected by a girl or that other guys should too. A woman is automatically accepted by society as a woman; whereas men have to prove themselves at every turn. A shy woman WILL get asked out or get approached by other men without having to over come it. However, us Men have to overcome shyness and social anxiety, social skills seem to have a bigger impact on Men than they do on Women. Men have to work more on themselves than women do. Men must have confidence, real self confidence, that is not based solely on how they look, but rather understanding and acknowledging their self worth in order to approach. Building up this type of confidence takes time and understanding.

    Like us Men have to have the right attitude, mentality, way of thinking, social skills, conversation skills, like we have to walk right, talk right, sit right, stand right, breathe right. Seriously, it's way easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend.

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  • Most cases it'll be a turn off since girls like guys with experience unless they mushy about romance.

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  • im 22 and never been on a date or sexual experience too but most girls like the innicent guy so if it came to anything they feel they don't know at least the girl doesn't have to feel they have too

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  • Don't let it deter your thoughts. It makes no difference if you have had experience or not. Look at it this way, you still have a clean reputation when it comes to the dating scene.

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  • Yes. This is very much a turnoff. Girls typically prefer experienced guys. They're answering otherwise to make you feel better. I asked a random pool about this a while back and girls preferred experienced guys.

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