There seems to be a common theme in how I get rejected. Basically I start seeing this guy, he seems nice. We may even become girlfriend and boyfriend. We date for a while and then he comes to me and says he doesn't have any feelings for me, but that I am just "too sweet" and "too nice" and it's hard for him to let me go.
Is it really that much of a turn off to be sweet and nice to your bf? I am a really nice person by nature. But for some reason that's not a good way to be? I have many friends who can be so nasty towards their bf's, yet they stay together :S They boss them around and control their lives. I can't imagine doing that to anyone. But should I just start being more mean? I mean honestly it seems like I can't get ahead the way that I am now. People either don't think it's genuine, or I seem like a doormat, I just can't win.
I do stick up for myself. But I am pretty easy going, so I don't do it unless I'm really upset or really do not want to do something. I have my own life as well, I am also independent, but I love spending time with a guy that I really like.
So, I'm kind of confused. I really don't want to have to pretend to be a big mean person, but I'm beginning to see that all the women who are really mean seem to be married. I want a family and marriage someday too. So should I force myself to change?
Most Helpful Guy
Never force yourself to change for the purpose of pleasing someone else. That is a formula guaranteed to make you miserable.
The problem with girls who are "nice" is that it sometimes feels fake and it is hard to connect with someone who always presents a false front. Don't stop being nice but do let your boyfriend know when you are feeling upset, angry, or have any harsh feelings towards someone else. Don't be afraid to let your boyfriend see you cry. Let your guard down and be yourself. . . but don't try to be anyone else.2