Passcode to apartment?

My boyfriend and i are both 24 and have been together 3 years. He has his own apartment and i sleep over there every weekend. We live 30 minutes away from each other. His mom and sister know his passcode to get in but yet he won't tell it to me his own girlfriend. I mean its not like we been together 3 months its been 3 years shouldn't he know me well enough to trust me after this point? Also its weird that he would give it to them and not me considering they dont even sleep over there i sleep over there every freaking weekend. I literally go over there and if he isn't home yet i have to wait until he gets home to let me in. I just find that odd that after 3 years he doesn't trust me enough to go in his apartment. Like what. I plan on moving in there next year is he going to magically start trusting me then.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, his mom and sister are family. So the fact that they know and you don't isn't as ridiculous as you're tying to make it look.

    But this isn't a trust issue, it's just a comfort thing. He just doesn't want you to be able to walk up in there whenever you want.

    This is him hanging on to that one bit of distance between you two, he can still somewhat control when he sees you.

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    • Yeah but his mom and sister can go in anytime they want? I. mean you think after 3 years he would rather come home into his apartment ro see his own girlfriend and not his mom and sister? I mean why do they need it more than me they aren't even over there as much. I mean he says he wants me to move in with him next year will he magically trust me then also after 3 years i would think that i wouldn't be considered a separate entity from his fam especially since we are going to be living together as two adults being serious about each other i would think he would consider me as important and part of his fam

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    • I just explained this. They have it because they don't go over nearly as much. So he knows he won't come home and unexpectedly see his mom or sister.

      Like I said, this is just him maintaining the ability to control when he sees you. Since he'll lose this ability in a year.

      Just be grateful you'll be moving in.

    • You're making a big deal out of nothing because you feel insulted.

      Relax, this isn't me dismissing a potential issue, you really should chill lol.

      There's no unhealthy attachment here

Most Helpful Girl

  • I dont think it is a trust issue. He seems like he wants to have his personal space.

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    • Yeah but bu giving it to his mom and sister they can walk in any time. Also he asked me to move in with him next yeae wouldn't you give your passcode to the person who you are going to be spending the rest of your life with before anyone else especially considering said person will be moving jn with u

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    • Oh ok good i thought at first you were saying that i shouldn't be trusted or as important as his family

    • No of course you should be Trusted. You are his girlfriend after all.

What Guys Said 3

  • There is a problem with his thoughts/feelings about you. Three years as way more time than needed to earn the right to the passcode. He may not feel as close to you as you do to him.

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    • Thank you! Thats what im saying. Its not like its a new relationship

  • That is a trust issue for real. The way you said magically is hitting the nail on the head. I can't say for others but my trust isn't wired into an on - off switch

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  • ask him for the passcode, and if he says nope ask him why he won't give you the passcode.

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What Girls Said 1

  • The passcode just to get past the entry? I would think that's very weird and annoying! My ex literally gave me the key and everything and I waited in his apartment till he came home and we dated for 3 years. However people move at different paces and I would genuinely wonder why I don't have it yet, you're not asking for a key

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