Have you ever not given someone you're dating (2+ months) a Christmas gift?

I am in a fairly new relationship. We have been dating for almost four months. Not boyfriend/girlfriend status yet, but the feelings are there.

I'm afraid that because we are taking things slow that he won't be thinking about getting me anything this year, whereas I am all up for buying him something, and I have already been planning it.

Our relationship has slowed WAY WAY down after we had the "where do we stand" talk a little over 2 months ago (he initiated). He wanted to slow things down. And since then, he's put up this barrier and has been devoid of cutesy/relationship talks (i. e I'm thinking of you; I can't wait to see you, blah blah blah). Everything has basically halted, but we do plan gettogethers, and pretty much see each other once a week). And he does respond in person about cutesy things. For instance, if I say I missed him, he'll say he missed me too.

I'll be upset if he doesn't get me anything because I will feel like I mean nothing to him. It will hurt me. It's the thought that counts.

So I am wondering if you generally get your significant other/date something for Christmas when you've been dating them for 2 to 4 months, even if you're taking things slow.

Welp, turns out that he doesn't celebrate religious holidays. Guess that means Valentine's Day I better be getting something Haha.
So now I must drink the bottle of Patron to myself :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • Its okay as long as you explain you thought it was the perfect gift for him or something and that you like it a lot. And that it made you think of him or what ever. And its not bad if he doesn't exactly come up with a gift on Christmas. Sure he might feel guilty but you can bet he may try to out do your gift on the next special day that has significance to you. Gifts are treasures and as long as he knows that it came from the bottom of your heart. Im sure he won't be too offended.

    In my culture its a huge deal to give gifts. Such as you always give the gift with two hands and bow. and you never give four gifts as its a bad luck number. I'm Korean. And most times small gifts are given to the host when you go over to their house if they are older than the giver.

    Be happy its going slow as to avoid mistakes y'all sound suuuuper cute <3 Be kind and respectful. and if you have to do explain if he asks why your giving the gift. If he is confused as to why your giving it.

    Hope this is helpful

    • Thanks for your input. He's also Asian, and it turns out that he doesn't celebrate religious holidays. So I guess Valentine's Day will be up for grabs and I better get something then.

      As far as your comment about taking things slow, yes, I should look at the bright side of it all and be happy that because of what happened in his last relationship he wants to take things nice and easy, but it also annoys me. The way he has acted comes off as being disinterested, even if he is not trying to come off that way. On top of that, I have built up this air of negativity from reading articles online, listening to friends, etc. I've tired myself out. I think he is just confused about himself and he made things between us complicated. I'm all about, let it go at a natural pace, but he is consciously doing everything in his power to halt it/slow it down. That's the frustrating part about it haha.

    • your welcome miss hope you enjoy your time together! ^w^

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've always given the guy at least something. Since I'm still getting to know him maybe, I'll try to get him something thoughtful, but nothing too extravagant. I don't really like receiving gifts, but I would be a bit sad if he didn't at least wish me a Merry Christmas and gave me a hug sometime that week (like when I gave him his gift). Usually, the guys have given me a small gift as well.

    • Yeah, I was thinking of something small, not too extravagant. I considered getting him a mini beer making kit haha. And then there are socks... which I know sounds lame, but he loves long golfer type socks that have patterns haha.

      I'm just stressed that because there's been a bump in the road of our relationship, and he has reeled things in way back, that he won't do it because it shows emotion or steps over the edge of being gf/bf status or whatever.

    • Well, those seem like nice, thoughtful gifts! I get what you mean. But I give my neighbors small gifts (like cookies or chocolates) and I barely talk to them. It's just the season of giving and being nice, so I don't see it as a big deal really. You are being thoughtful and nice, hopefully he'll understand that. :)

    • Thank you!

What Guys Said 1

  • Whenever in doubt about something, don't do it. You never know what could happen and ou don't want consequences

    • Well, he doesn't celebrate Christmas, so I'm gonna drink his Christmas present to myself haha.

What Girls Said 2

  • nah I've always done it. iv never had a relationship last only 2-4 months though.

    • All of my relationships have been long relationships, too. He's just been a bump on a log for the past couple months since our relationship talk.

      Here's hoping for something :)

    • ah i understand. well i wish u all the best :)

  • If he likes you then he'll get you something.

    • He better then! Lol. Just anything would be nice.