Eyes went to you, mind is stuck on your essence. I have no idea who i am, what i want. I don’t know what is real and what is not, i no longer care, i no longer have passion for my art. but i want you to fill me with pain, fill my heart. cut my lungs, extrangulate my stomach, and then teach me how to love. i am tired of being superficial, of being outside of myself. No body knows me, i am afraid of myself, i want to feel something real. tear me apart, destroy me i am terrified to love for the fish time. wreck me, mind blow me, i no longer want to be the movie goddess. no more ordinary. Everything around me feels fake, no excitement whatsoever. i feel nothing, but yet when you pass by i can't help but explode inside. and now i am terrified of being switched off. I am trying with ll my strength to avoid it all.
I was thirsty for contact, kisses, lusted, and i got it from a heart, but it meant nothing to me. Me, i am naive i don’t know what loving someone is. so teach me. i may be bounded to you. i hate myself, i am scared, i miss the dead, and the past is stuck in me like the smell of death and blood on a carpet.
i am looking for excitement, something to ma e me feel, i make myself sick, i look for sickness, to feel something physical. i am not true. Estoy encerrada en mi propia cancel. y yo que tengo la llave no se en donde encajarla. quiero llorar, y no es vanidad. por que quiero de verdad. me destroza.
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There's a minute of my life I'll never get back0