Best way to actually get a girl playing hard to get?

I am certain she's playing hard to get because of a few things:

She's already admit interest and wanting to go on dates.
She's missed one of our dates but gave me a specific alternate date/time but is being hot/cold about the alternate date.
Her friends are aware of me, going so far to add me on social media/talk to me.
When I don't chase, she comes to me, but when I do chase, she pulls back a bit.

Basically, push-pull tactics. So ladies and gents, what's the best way to actually catch the girl playing hard to get?


What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like either she's also partially interested in someone else or she really just has no idea what she wants. Best way is to be upfront. Tell her you're not really sure of where you're at with her and would like to know where you two stand as of now.

    • Okay I see. Didn't think of it like that but that also makes sense. I mean the reason I assumed it was hard to get, was because she already expressed interest, asked me out, and flirts heavily when we're around each other or through text, but when I show interest she'll pull back a little bit and when I do the same she comes running back and then it begins again. This has happened like clockwork 3 or 4 times already and she's stated she doesn't have a boyfriend, although that doesn't mean she couldn't be dating other guys casually as you said.

      So I feel like being too forward now is potentially viewable as confrontational/being emotional. So instead I've tried to play it cool and just make sure she doesn't see any of this getting to me. That doesn't mean I don't want to catch her though :P

    • The problem is that at some point you have to get that you're really just being a doormat by accommodating her behavior. At some point you should stand your ground. You don't deserve being thrown around.

What Guys Said 2

  • It playing hard to get. I run into it all the time. Because of her thoughts and emotions she doesn't want to play. But she does because she wants you and doesn't want you this to fuck her and leave. She wants you to value her. Most women don't realize this doesn't work. Start talking to other girls. It Will help you to keep from being needy. also try and make it hard for her by driving up her attraction weather sexual or emotional then go cold a littlebit. So basically do The same thing back. If she's on your Facebook or through text talk about fun things that you're doing. Don't come off as bragging though. Will drive her nuts because she'd want to do it with you. I also randomly send very seductive text to get her mind thinking about things. So it festers making it harder for her to play.

  • Reverse the roles. Odds are, the girl of your dreams could be playing hard to get just to keep you on your toes. Don't let her keep the upper hand, or she will think that you are at her beck and call. If you stop calling and doting on her, after a few days she will begin to wonder why and interest will surely spark if she is at all interested. If she calls or asks why you haven't been around, maintain a friendly demeanor but act nonchalant.

    Show interest in someone else. A surefire way to spark her interest in you, if there is any, is to start talking to other girls. If she is into you, she will begin to worry that she could potentially miss her chance. Don't make it obvious that you are talking to others to make her jealous. Actually talk and try to get to know other girls, and you may surprise yourself by finding one that is even more stimulating than the current object of your affection.

    Be available, somewhat. Don't be available every time that she asks you to hang out. Maintain a life outside of your interest for her. Make plenty of time for your friends and family so that she knows that she isn't the only important thing in your life. Stay active with hobbies or sports that you like to play. Set goals and strive to achieve them. Success is attractive to many personality types.

    Evaluate her actions. Decide if she is actually playing hard to get. She could just be playing in general because she thinks that she can. If she seems genuinely uninterested, let it go. If you have tried a variety of methods with no results, you most likely fit into the, "let it go," category. You are sure to find someone who is just as clever and fun who is more aware and sensitive to your feelings.

    • Thanks for this, this is really solid advice! So I've doing the first one when she goes cold on me, and the second one I did unintentionally in the sense that I was talking to some girl and she thought I was being flirty with her, but I was just being playful and joking around (she's just a friend of a friend).

      So now, I am finally going for the third option of just being unavailable as well as the first option to see how she acts after she flaked on our last date which she wanted to go on. Any other tips?