Waiting for the right girl vs Settling for what's easy?

Let's say you just started dating this girl, you think she's so gorgeous and cool (maybe even out of your league), but she's shy and wants to take things slow. You won't be able to sleep with her for a couple months, but you still have to be exclusive. Would you be willing to wait it out, because she's special? Or, would you rather just call your quits and have sex with a bunch of average girls from tinder?

  • Wait it out/be patient
    94% (15)82% (18)87% (33)Vote
  • Break it off and fuck girls who aren't anything special
    6% (1)18% (4)13% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't have a problem with waiting as long as there is a connection there. Often if a girl waits too long, it feels like we don't ever grow closer than just friends. Maybe this is the female equivalent to being friend zoned for not moving fast enough. If this happens the chemistry fades, and I don't want to see her anymore. I can wait for sex, but that doesn't mean that sexual tension is not important while waiting.

    She also can't be holding me to a different standard than she has held other guys to. If she sleeps with other guys right away and makes me wait, then no I won't wait. I will just leave her and find a girl that will treat me as desirable as she has treated the other men in her past.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Depends on her. Is she the type that sleeps around but when she wants a relationship she takes it slow? If that's the case no, I won't wait, cause no, I'm not gonna be a fool.

    If she's constant with her behavior and takes is slow with every guy, then I would wait a couple months, but I won't wait more than 3, that's way too much, and clearly we don't have the same view about sex.

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    • No she's not promiscuous at all.

  • WIll definitely wait it out.

    By the way, if she actually thinks that she is out of my league, then I'd break up with her at that moment itself. I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm constantly being reminded, directly or indirectly, that she is 'better' than me.

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    • I meant that the guy thinks that she is out of his league, not that she thinks it.

    • Then it shouldn't be an issue. I can wait! :)

  • I have turned down friends with benefits with very attractive girls because I want to wait until marriage for sex, and for non religious reasons even, also I don't believe in leagues, but no I don't care if it means I die alone, I'll hold out for that beautiful girl who wants something real over any sweet/plain Jane, or bitch/model girl.

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  • I enjoy having a sexual life. I will wait for serious relationships till I am older.

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  • How is she special? Making me wait is not a good thing. That takes a notch off out of the "special" scale... Still, I would be ready to wait, if I feel she is worth it. I wouldn't wait just because she thinks she is special though. That's self-entitlement and I will run away from that.

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    • She's just really reserved and needs to feel 100% comfortable and has to trust you, which might take a couple months.

    • I will wait then :-)

  • Fuck that. I don't mind if we just don't fuck, but if I can't fuck? That's when I bail.

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    • You mean, you don't mind if you fuck and have a serious connection? Or do you mean you don't mind if you and her don't fuck as long as you can fuck others?

    • If she was down to fuck, but thought it might be a good idea to wait, then I can get on board with that. That's us just not fucking.

      But when she straight up says "nothing for x amount of time, because I said so" then that's when I bail.

    • So let's say she said "I won't be comfortable having sex for a couple months at least" but she's willing to do other stuff?

  • Wait it out/be patient

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  • A few months before being sexual, or before having sex?

    Her normal behavior matters - from your comments below we're assuming she never does casual sex.

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    • Yep never

    • Show All
    • Definitely it enters into things. Because as I hope you're gathering, it's not a matter of whether i can cope with not having sex for a while. I can certainly do that. It's about reading her, and her sexual interest in me, and where things are going. It's not even just a 'is it worth waiting for decent future sex'. It's that her sexual desire for me is a core part of my feeling happy in the relationship. Actual sexual activity is an expression of her desire that also sates my desire and is lots of fun. But even in the 'pre sex' phase, I want to -believe- that she has that desire. To believe it, I have to believe she desires me but also is holding back, and if she's a virgin, that holds more water, for a while at least.

      I'd also point out that, especially in this case, the key 'wait' period is not for penis-in-vagina sex. There are mechanical reasons she could be nervous, there are more risks (pregnancy etc) then other acts...

    • So in this case, it's really more how eager she is to be -sexual-, not to actually have sex with me. If we're getting each other off passionately and frequently but she's not ready for intercourse yet, I'm not doubting her sexual interest in me, I'm not sexually unfulfilled, I'm not feeling rejected. I'm thinking how amazing our chemistry is and how good it will be when we have sex, but what we're doing is pulling us together making me want her more. If she doesn't want to be passionate, doesn't want my body, doesn't seem excited by me and filled with that need... now i feel unwanted.

What Girls Said 4

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