Should I still even consider dating a girl who is having sex with another guy?

Well this one girl I've been talking to we hit off everything right. She had just gotten through a bad break-up but I had known her for some time and was starting to get close to her more and more. Anyways, we were having a convo last night and I told her about how much I care for her and would honestly be ready to date long term if she was. She said something along the lines of, "No one is ever as sweet to me as you are..." before she didn't reply the rest of the night. My only messages the rest of the night were just me expressing more of my care for her.

Anyways, this morning I get a text from her saying, "Fuck I'm so dumb". I told her she wasn't and she said she was and that she did something "very bad". I asked her what and had to ask again to get an answer. Turns out she's sleeping with some guy as a rebound after the break-up. I was upset because I'm not someone who's big on doing stuff like that and expect the same from a partner. So I tried to mask it by just saying I hope she used protection. She then went into details that I honestly could have lived peacefully without ever knowing. The topic trailed off quickly but now I don't feel so hot about her...

Should I even still consider dating her? I've known her and cared for her for a while but if she's just going to sleep around and then also tell me about it then I don't think I could do that. She was asking if I was possibly planning a date any time soon but I said I don't know (lies) and would have to look at my work schedule first. Should I just move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Run. Run as fast as you can in the other direction.

    I hate to say this, as you seem like a good dude, but this girl isn't into like that. There's just no way that she'd act like this if she respected and liked you.

    You mentioned that the other guy is a rebound, and that's probably true. Unfortunately, though, I think you're a rebound of sorts too. You're giving her attention and being sweet, and she wants that right now, just like she wants sex with the other guy.

    So yeah, cut contact with this one.

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    • This. Normally I would say yes, date her since she’s not in a relationship. But if she's rebounding, she could be using you too. Especially if all she said when you told her how you felt is "No one is ever as sweet to me as you are..." I hate to say it, but I've said something along those line before and I wasn't interested in the guy like that :/

What Girls Said 4

  • Wow. Not only screws some body, but goes on to share details with a guy who just opened up about how much he cares for her?

    Dude, she's as classless as sumner vacation. Do a sloooow fade and let her go.

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  • I wouldn't thats sound awful. But its up to you!

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  • I think you should. Well I would if I was in that situation. It's not on when you've told this girl how much you care for her, and then for her to just go and carelessly sleep with someone without thinking about your feelings is pretty damn cold.

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  • Of course.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Your question aswers it by itself... trust your male instincts... it's obvious you should never engage in a serious relationship with a girl as promiscuous as that... have some male honor and move on, she is really not worth it

    by the way... according to what you are describing me, she is just using you to feed her ego, she is just manipulating you, just "taming you as a inoffensive pet" in case you become her boyfriend. i think dating her things will end up bad for you because she looks only at her own interests, and not considering yours

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  • Don't do it. She's not the type of girl for you. You were telling her how much you cared for her and she never replied, just to say that you are sweet to her. Then she proceeded to tell you that she slept with another guy, and even told you the details, something she should have never done considering she knows you want to date her.
    I don't feel like she really cares for you, or likes you, as much as you do for her, so I think right now she's just using you for emotional support, and if you date her you'll be a rebound until she gets over her ex and don't need you anymore, which she then break up with you.

    Don't do it man, I've seen you around and I can say she's not the type of girl for you.

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  • She had a rebound fling WHILE you two were getting close? I would advise that you talk to her about it. Say that that concerns you, and perhaps a date could wait a bit. Make sure that you do thank her for telling you, though you can add that you didn't need the details. Continue being friendly. Stay in touch. And see how it goes.

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  • No! Friend zone her!

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  • she sounds confused when people male or female just got dumped or broke off they are very vulnerable sexually the best way to get a women in bed is at that time or in funerals. I say no she blew it, but its your life you know her better than I do if you feel you two could work it out and she is willing to date you and if you want to go on ahead.

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  • You are sooo friendzoned.

    You are the mayor of Friendzone.

    If you were a 1960s prehistoric cartoon, you would be "Friend Friendzone."

    You turned right at Love Street onto Dense Fog Road and continued right on through to Hallucination Station.

    Stop talking to her. Give her up. Run away, now.

    But you won't, will you?

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    • The only way back to reality is the opposite direction of wherever she is. Take that road.

  • No. If she wanted a rebound she could have gone to you and if she wanted to date you she could have gone to you. She knew what she was doing and either you didn't even cross her mind or you did and she didn't care. I'm honestly not sure which is worse.

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  • If I was in your situation.. I would feel the same way... I find it a turn off too... And I won't date a girl like that... Who sleeps around...

    So you shouldn't too... She might as well use you as a rebound...
    And she is hurt right now and therefore she needed a rebound...

    I advice you to move on... Don't fall for the damsel in distress!

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  • Honestly I would, you have already witness what she is capable of behind someone's back and the fact that she did it knsowing but then to think back and believe it was stupd, there's no telln if she would have those same intentions again later. You could try to date her, but I know that you'll alwayd be doubting her in the end. Sorry it happened to you.

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  • I think you should still give it a shot. clearly, from what you said she messaged you, she felt pretty bad about sleeping around and I would say that that suggests that its not something she normally does. you would know best since you've known her so long though. i'd say to still plan a date and see where it goes

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  • You mean like right now, like I'm waiting my turn?

    Sure, why not.

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  • No not if she will do it with other guys when your dating her

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