I have a boyfriend and he's a great person in general and has many great qualities. He is polite, kind, respectfull etc.. however he has these little qualities that I feel are deal breakers. I don't know if I'm too picky but he wants to marry me eventually, he brought up marriage and calls me by his last name and I don't know if I could deal with those cons forever. Should I stay until I can no longer tame it or would that be using him? He says I'm the love of his life and he is in love so I feel really conflicted
- Staying would be leading him on. Don't do that.67% (6)81% (13)76% (19)Vote
- If you care for him stay, but when you finally care no longer leave.33% (3)19% (3)24% (6)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
As far as using him or not more info is required.
That's said, are you leading him on by staying with him? Based on your own words I'd say absolutely. You seem to have no intention of staying in the relationship. If that's the case, you need to tell him and move on. To do otherwise if that's your true intentions is definitely leading him on. Many guys are oblivious to when a relationship is going south or if a girl actually really loves him or not. I'm guessing he's not being objective and is blinded by his own feelings for you and there are many, many signs things aren't right. That said, his lack of knowledge isn't your fault, but for you to willingly exploit that is. If this relationship isn't going anywhere as far as you're concerned, and you see it as unable to be fixed and/or have no desire to fix it, then to do anything other than be upfront with him is taking advantage of the situation and leading him on.
The question to be asked is, why are you with him if not because you love him? If the answer is you don't want to hurt his feelings by dumping him, my response is if your mature enough to date, then your mature enough to deal with the responsibilities of dating. Those responsibilities sometimes unfortunately include having to dump people. If your with him for any other reason than you love him and want a relationship with him your taking advantage of him.
Which will hurt more? Being dumped now, or continuing to date someone with the impression there is a future together only to find it was really over months ago, and you've now spent X amount of time and money investing in a dead relationship?
You asked the question for a reason. I think we can both be in agreement you and he are done at least as far is you're concerned right? Then do the right thing and end it now. Anything less is unethical and straight wrong.0