My boyfriend gets violent in his sleep?

I have been with him off and on for five years and I've noticed that (more so than not) whenever he smokes before going to bed he gets extremely violent in his sleep. He has nightmares whenever he smokes. He will kick, punch and elbow me in his sleep and its almost impossible to wake him. Has anyone ever experienced such night terrors that cause them to do this or have you had a partner who did this as well? If so, how did you deal with it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • for the time being, he should either quite smoking before bed or sleep in a different room to you.

    either way, he should be seeing a sleep therapist, because these are only short term strategies to something that could be a much deeper underlying issue.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm pretty sure my boyfriend has night terrors but he just thrashes around and occasionally talks in his sleep. No punching or hitting though. If smoking is what's causing it, try convincing him to quit smoking (which will help him in more than just his sleep) and/ or take him to a sleep therapist.

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What Guys Said 8

  • i've heard of this happening. smoking can cause a lot of issues during sleep because it is causing chemical reactions in your brain... perhaps you suggest to him not to smoke so close to bed time. i feel like out of love for you he'd be open to it

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  • I think he should seek help to find out what happens, this is definetely not pleasant. Or maybe he could quit smoking before sleeping.

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  • I accidentally punched a wall while in my sleep in a hostel before that ended up waking me up because I dreamt I had to defend myself in a fight.

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  • I had this about a year ago also I scratches myself a lot but I wasn't fully asleep when I did this but I couldnt make it stop like I was in a dream and the dream took over so you could only watch. Im bad in explaining these things...

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  • has he tried sleeping on his belly at all?

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    • Yes. He can't stay like that for long unfortunately because he has an ulcer and its painful for him.

    • well he needs a better outlet for his sleeping anger/violent behaviors. Like making him self more tired before sleeping or something build up the muscle exhaustion. So hit hits are more like soft bumps rather than hits that could leave bruises. Cause that would be hard to explain.

  • Are you sure he is asleep or just acting

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  • What's he smoking?

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  • Uh, no, I've never experienced that..

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What Girls Said 2

  • No, I never had that experience. Ask him to seek a sleep specialist.

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  • Maybe he should go see a doctor?

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