Met someone before surgery! He was there for me afterwards w lots of care & support. He always came to my apartment to make it easy for me as I was on crutches. A real gem. 5 months in was my birthday. We had a nothing disagreement. I told him I found it strange I hadn't been to his apt. He said - you're invited. Two months later, we haven't gone. When we have plans to go - something changes & we don't go - plans we have are closer to my apt. Also, in the last two months, we've spent less time together. All due to circumstances - a biz trip, a death out of state, the flu, a baby naming out of town. We're on the 8 th week of inconsistent plans. Yesterday, we talked during the day. We finally had our weekend plans in motion. Communicating regularly.
On the phone - I asked where he watched the game last night. He said @ home. Then - he says - let's meet @ restaurant. I said great. Then, we'll sleep @ your house. He said no. It's downtown. I said ok. Let's go there for brunch Sunday. He said ok in what I call a weird tone. I asked if everything is ok (I sensed he was bothered by mentioning a visit to his place). He said yes. I gotta go. Then - two hours later - he texts - I'm not getting together w you this weekend. There's obviously a trust issue as you're grilling me about my whereabouts last night. I don't want to talk, have a confrontation. He shut his phone off b/c he's visiting a religious family member for the holiday & it's shabbos. I left a message sincerely apologizing. I texted him that I totally trust him, just curious if he watched the game @ his friend's place. I think it's about the apt visit mention. In the text - I also asked for forgiveness; keep our plans we were meant to have, time to share. Waiting til sundown now.
Most Helpful Guy
Obviously it could be something completely innocent... like he lives alone and his place is a complete pigsty and he's ashamed of it (Seriously pretty likely).
Of course it could mean something worse. Best option: Talk it through with him, dont nag or push, just sit him down in a low preasure enviroment, and say that you feel sort of odd that youve not seen his place. Make it sound fun and focus on getting to know eachother, not on suspicions/trust etc.
If he says its a mess, say fine you'll give him some time to tidy it up if he likes, but you dont mind.0
Most Helpful Girl
I think he's hiding something. He tried to make it about you by saying it feels like you're grilling him - he refuses to take responsibility and tries to change the subject. And the fact that he waited two hours to tell you that he's not meeting up just adds to the suspicion. A normal person would have brought it up then and there, immediately when it bothered them. But since he waited so long to tell you, it makes me think that he was trying to sort out some mental plan in order to figure out exactly what to say and what to do. That's not a good sign. I wouldn't trust this man.0