Am I justified in feeling hurt?

My boyfriend and i have been together 4.5 years he lives in ga and i live in pa. He is 28 and im 24. He moved to ga from pa in April for a better job offer and i plan on moving in with him once i find a job down there and save up more money. We are very serious and we plan on getting engaged within the next year or so. He is coming home for Christmas and staying Christmas eve until Sunday so 3 nights 4 days. Well he wants to spend Christmas eve night at my house so that he can wake up next to me his girlfriend on Christmas morning. Well his mom told him well i want you to stay at my house so that i can wake up next to my 3 son's on Christmas morning
His other brother who is 27 is flying in from california and his other brother lives at home and is 22. My boyfriend said he might just stay there that night because he doesn't want to upset his mom and stepdad. While i understand that it seems like he cares more about not upsetting his mom than hurting my feelings. I feel like we had these plans first for him to stay with me and he is just ditching me and putting his moms feelings ahead of mine. Which i feel is a slippery slope because i feel like in a serious relationship or marriage generally your partner comes first and that it is a bad sign if you can never say no to your mom. Am i justified in feeling very hurt? Also i think his mom is being ridiculous by throwing a hissy fit because he made it very clear to her he is still going to go over and see her early Christmas day.


What Guys Said 1

  • Ya that's retarded. He should be with you. His mom's being selfish.

    • Thank you! I would totally get his moms pov if we lived together or right by each other and his mom lived hours away but we are long distance i literally never get to see him

What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's so-so, as much as he doesn't see you that often, he probably doesn't always see his mum. I think it's important to put your spouse first yes, but it's Christmas and if thats what his mum is asking then its okay. Sometimes its better to agree to whoever is less rational, you're entitled to feel hurt, but seems like you're very rational and will feel hurt but at the end of the day you're not going to be a brat about it, as for his mum. Sounds like he just thinks its better, so his mum doesn't blow up x

    • I get the desire to have your three sons under one roof i do. But the thing is we are still going over there early to see her and when i say early i mean early like before noon. If he always caters to his moms petty requests when will it stop you know what im saying?

    • Yeah I know what you're saying, but I just think he's just complying just because its something petty right

    • Yeah you're probably right ill just let it go because its a one time thing