I'm not seeing anyone at the moment but I do go out and talk to guys and the fact that I'm a virgin is holding me back from really getting to know anyone. I'm 21 and I know it's abnormal for me to still be a virgin but I didn't want to have sex until after I graduated high school and then I sort of threw myself into work and school and never got out much to meet new people. I've messed around before but with boys that I went to high school with and they just already knew. So now that I'm getting out more I'm super uncomfortable with being a 21 year old virgin and I don't know how to tell someone that I could potentially end up with that I'm a virgin because most people would assume that a 21 year old college student is not a virgin. Are most guys turned off by that? Is that a deal breaker for someone that I'm 21 and inexperienced?
Most Helpful Guy
Not really a big deal. It sounds worse in your head, I am sure. This won't come up until you are close to sleeping with someone and when you are at that stage, bringing up your virginity is gonna be the least of your worries. (forgive the dramatic choice of words. xD)
You should just let him know that you have never had sex before, so he can take the lead and go easy with his performance. You shouldn't lie though. Never lie because that will be to your disadvantage. He will be demanding things and expecting to be satisfied, instead of taking care of you and showing you a great first time. A bad first experience could end up scaring you more than you realize, so be careful.
Last note is; you shouldn't really worry about your virginity all that much. Like I wrote to this other guy today, sex is just an activity that you have never taken part in, just like bungee jumping or scuba diving. It won't change your life when it happens and you won't be different on the other side. It is just a fun activity that people pass the time with and in my experience, it is only mind-blowing a handful of times.
Best wishes. : )2
Most Helpful Girl
The only time it needs to come up is when sex COULD be a potential for the future. It's no different than asking your partner how many people they slept with. It doesn't need to be on your dating resume.
Anybody who cares about you won't be turned off by it. Like I tell everyone though: most people will only make a big deal out of it if you treat it like a big deal. But if you treat it like it isn't, they'll have little reason to as well.1