How do I go about telling someone I'm seeing that I'm a virgin?

I'm not seeing anyone at the moment but I do go out and talk to guys and the fact that I'm a virgin is holding me back from really getting to know anyone. I'm 21 and I know it's abnormal for me to still be a virgin but I didn't want to have sex until after I graduated high school and then I sort of threw myself into work and school and never got out much to meet new people. I've messed around before but with boys that I went to high school with and they just already knew. So now that I'm getting out more I'm super uncomfortable with being a 21 year old virgin and I don't know how to tell someone that I could potentially end up with that I'm a virgin because most people would assume that a 21 year old college student is not a virgin. Are most guys turned off by that? Is that a deal breaker for someone that I'm 21 and inexperienced?

Updates:
I think I'm more worried about the reaction id get after telling him I'm a virgin rather than the right time to tell him. But after reading some of these opinions I feel like I might be over thinking it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not really a big deal. It sounds worse in your head, I am sure. This won't come up until you are close to sleeping with someone and when you are at that stage, bringing up your virginity is gonna be the least of your worries. (forgive the dramatic choice of words. xD)

    You should just let him know that you have never had sex before, so he can take the lead and go easy with his performance. You shouldn't lie though. Never lie because that will be to your disadvantage. He will be demanding things and expecting to be satisfied, instead of taking care of you and showing you a great first time. A bad first experience could end up scaring you more than you realize, so be careful.

    Last note is; you shouldn't really worry about your virginity all that much. Like I wrote to this other guy today, sex is just an activity that you have never taken part in, just like bungee jumping or scuba diving. It won't change your life when it happens and you won't be different on the other side. It is just a fun activity that people pass the time with and in my experience, it is only mind-blowing a handful of times.

    Best wishes. : )

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The only time it needs to come up is when sex COULD be a potential for the future. It's no different than asking your partner how many people they slept with. It doesn't need to be on your dating resume.

    Anybody who cares about you won't be turned off by it. Like I tell everyone though: most people will only make a big deal out of it if you treat it like a big deal. But if you treat it like it isn't, they'll have little reason to as well.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You're a girl. I can't think of any guy that's gonna be like, "Oh, you're a virgin? Sorry we can't date that's weird.", unless he's some D-bag looking for a quick lay.

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  • Lets say i was the guy you're interested in. I'd be very happy actually because if shows that you are a girl that respects herself and her body. Thats a huge + for me and i think for many guys. Girls like that even stand out for me (in a good way). I like educated people. There is nothing to be worried about, nor emberassed. Lets be honest, who would want the town slut or the manhoe of the city as their gf/bf? Not many people i think ;)

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  • You're a girl, so it's ok

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  • Like this- I'm a virgin.

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  • Most guys very much enjoy having sex with girls they're in relationships who are virgins. They don't so much enjoy not having sex with virgins.

    Guys who are looking to hook up rather than have relationships may assume virgins are unlikely to have sex with them. Some may actually think they shouldn't hook up with a virgin for sex- that she should save it for someone special, or they doubt her judgement as to whether she'll really be fine with it. Some guys won't care.

    If you're looking to hook up, it might be slightly awkward around that sex act, it might not.

    If you're more dating guys, it will be viewed as a plus, since from the sounds of things you're fine with 'messing around' and in the right situation will happily have sex.

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  • You just tell them, lol. I mean, there's no other way. You just say "I'm a virgin"

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What Girls Said 4

  • I can't help with the other questions, but as a fellow virgin and someone who's has to explain their virginity to guys multiple times, the best way to tell them is... to tell them. Be open and upfront. Its a great way to sort of sift out the weirdos. :) hope this helps!

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  • I would LIE SO HARD! Just because in society its not acceptable or your seen as a prick or stuck up! But its not even that sometimes it happens! Just don't sleep with someone for the hell of it! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

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  • I'm a 21 year old college student who is still a virgin too. Lol weird?

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  • im a 23 year old virgin. but dont let it hold you back. you dont have to tell anyone until you're ready. i did it by playing 20 questions and asking my boyfriend when he lost his virginity. then obvi he asked me the same q back and thats how he found out. he didn't care

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