Do people have the right to be racist when it comes to their personal dating preferences?

So, do you believe people have the right to deny dating [insert race] people because they have a racial prejudice towards that particular group? If so, why? and if not, why not? There's a lot of talk recently about people and their dating preferences, whether or not they are racist. But does that question really matter if people, at the end of the day, have a right to be racist when it comes to selecting their future partner? Is it really the same thing as having racially motivated hiring practises in a buisness environment?

  • Yes, everyone should have the right to hold racial preferences in dating which are based on racial prejudices and stereotypes
    55% (37)72% (51)64% (88)Vote
  • No, everyone should not have the right to hold racial preferences in dating which are based on racial prejudices and stereotypes
    45% (30)28% (20)36% (50)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ohhhhhhh look at this question.

    I think yes. Though I don't like the way you worded the poll lol But I kinda agree with it.
    I mean, yea it's shitty for them to think this way. But can they help it? Not really. And even if they could, I wouldn't want to be with someone who's with me but hates others like me.

    This is the difference I think with like American culture an Latino culture. American emphasizes the individual. Whereas Latino culture emphasizes family and community. And this is why if you tell like a white person "you're pretty for a white girl/guy" (though I doubt they often hear this) they probably won't get offended. They'd find it flattering that they were the "special ones" to get chosen when you don't really like the features or characteristics of the whole group.
    Now, tell a Latino "you're pretty for a Mexican", I've heard this too much, and you'll see how bothered we typically get. Why? Because you just insulted all my ancestors. My people. Those like me. And I know I don't like racial/ethnic pride, but it's a slap in the face like you're insulting my family.

    I digress lol

    But I think they should be allowed because even if the reasoning behind it is because they think all Mexicans are rapists or cartel members or whatever, then I'd rather not have someone like that around me.

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    • yeah hah, i didn't quite word the poll in the way i wanted, but i hear what you're saying. Funny I've never heard the "you're good looking for a black guy" comment yet, but its pretty much the same deal with us as it is with latinos i think. What i wanted to see really was if people had felt it should be considered a problem/issue if people had this sort of racist way of determining their S. O. I agree with you though... it does help keep you away from people who are problematic... but i'm really trying to get down to the morality of it

    • Morality? No. Of course not. To dismiss entire groups of people is wrong. But if they can't help but not be attracted to them, I guess.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, they have the right.

    But, I think, what you're really asking is, is it morally correct? The answer is that racism is by definition immoral, because it is irrational racial discrimination, and irrationality is immoral. The more difficult question is, when is racial discrimination irrational and therefore racism and immoral? Generalizations are not racist, provided that they are true and that one recognizes that they are generalizations not universalizations.

    The same argument applies to hiring practices by the way (no one has the 'right' to a job any more than one has the 'right' to sex, regardless how ludicrously irrational the motivation of any rejection might be), with the proviso that contracts must be enforced: for example, if the managers of a business have a contractual obligaton to the owners to hire the best applicants, which any responsible owner would ensure is a contractual obligation, it is a breach of contract and therefore illegal for the managers to engage in racist hiring practices.

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    • Really depends on the reason, don't it?

      If a guy or girl says, "I will only date my race because I want my kids to look like me." Then is that immoral or irrational? It's racist, sure, as your kids probably won't look much like you if the other parent is another race. But how is it wrong?

      Or if someone says, "I won't date interracial, because I want my kids to be rooted in the same culture, traditions, and to continue my (insert race here) bloodline?" Is that immoral, or irrational? If so, how?

    • @RationalMale In your first example, if that is racism (and I agree that it probably is), then it is immoral because it is irrational. As for why the irrational is immoral, it is because the faculty of reason is the primary means of a human's survival, morality being necessary or even possible only because of a human's existence.

      The second example is also, I would say, a case of racism. It is racial discrimination that is irrational and therefore immoral. Behaviour is not determined by genes, let alone by any set of genes that might constitute a race.

What Girls Said 18

  • Ultimately, no matter how much we dislike it, people are allowed to have preferences regardless of the reason. Is it right? Not necessarily, but would you want to be with somebody who had racial prejudice against you? We also can't remove somebody's basic human rights to pick a partner that they like, no matter how much we don't like their reasoning, they have to right to date who they choose and reject who they choose.

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  • You can't force people to date others, forcing people to date people they aren't attracted to? That sounds like some crazy fascist shit right there.

    I don't find a lot of Asian men attractive, and I think that's natural. I'm surrounded by white people, been brought up in a mainly white country.

    Society is moving away from nature though so eventually I don't think it will be so much or a deal. We as a society will care less and less.

    I don't consider myself racist but I also don't find the majority of Asian men attractive. By Asia I mean the continent, not just eastern Asian. There are exceptions of course - but on the whole I just don't find them attractive. I don't like the features, they are not appealing to me. Just like a fat arse isn't appealing to some and it is to others, the features of that race are not attractive to me.

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    • I'd just like to point out that in no way am I trying to compare the appearance of a race to a fat arse! I don't find people of other races ugly just for having those features, and as with anyone I meet I take them for who they are and not by the colour of their skin.

  • I voted no based off how you worded the polls. I understand people having preferences. We all have them. But when people usually say they don't like/aren't attracted to/don't date a certain race, it usually comes with a negative reasoning. I just don't believe that a person can find an entire race unattractive. I think it's based of stereotypes. And that's sad.

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  • having a preference in physical traits is very different from a racial prejudice man :P
    prejudice is forming an opinion of a person before getting to know him like "nah, I don t date black people cause they are aggressive" or "I don t like Chinese guys cause they are submissive" which is not true cause those traits can be found in all races and not particularly related to one.
    and then not being attracted to a certain race is different, having a preference for blondes or full figure... that s not prejudice, that s basic attraction that you can t control.

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  • You can date or not date whomever you choose, but you ought to understand that if you don't date a whole race of people because you believe they are all unattractive or whatever lie you tell yourself, you are racist.

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  • I do think racial preference in dating can fall under the definition of racism, however, I think it's the type of racism that isn't a big deal since it mainly affects the individual with the preferences. So, I think everyone has the right.

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  • No, I don't think that people should hold off on dating a certain race based on stereotypes alone. Not every person of a certain race conforms to stereotypes, and to just group everyone together like that is wrong in my opinion.

    What if I said something like

    "I don't date (insert race) because all of them are (insert stereotype)."

    It's wrong in my opinion to judge everyone on a stereotype, because everyone is unique. It's one thing that you find a whole race of people unattractive (I don't know how that's possible, but that wasn't the case with me), that's absolutely fine. You're not obligated to date them, but when you stereotype and judge that entire race, that is wrong to me. It's very depressing how some can think an entire group of human beings are the same.

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    • If you said summat like that, then that's your opinion. I'm a white dude (despite what my name says), so I'll fill in the blanks to better explain my point:

      You say to me: I don't date white boys because all of them smell like wet dog, and are devils.

      Now, I have the choice to be hurt by what you said, or I have the choice to say "OK :)" and just write you off as the bigot who won't give me a chance, then forget about you. Nobody is forcing me to desire you, and nobody should force you to want to date me despite your hatred. There's worse things in life than being called pinky, and you're just one black woman out of the sea of black women.

      It may not be right, but realistically that person (in that hypothetical situation, you) is just showing you up front that you aren't compatible, saving you tons of time trying to impress said person only to be let down.

    • @Nuqood Didn't you read? Nobody said anything about you having to desire black women. You're not obligated to and nobody is forcing you to. And yes people realistically would avoid people like that in the first place. I just hate when people try to confirm all people to stereotypes that's all.

  • I don't think that denying dating a certain race deems someone as "racist". Our preferences are often the results of our environment, so sometimes we cannot help who we are more attracted to. That necessarily does not make someone racist. I guess evidence for that would be that you don't date a certain race, but you still have friends of that race. I don't think it is based on racial prejudices or stereotypes.

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  • Lol what im a little confused :( but my take on racial preference when it comes to sexual or relationship partners is that it all depends on social factors. I grew up in a black and indian country but grew up around majority black people, the first guys i was attracted to were black, so you can say a black man will always be my preference.
    There are stereotypes about other races that I do consider but I would not let it hold me back if i was interested in a guy who was not black.

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  • Its one thing to be more attracted to one race than another in general, or to prefer to date someone with your same culture, but its a completely different thing to refuse to date someone of a certain race on principle/because you are racist

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  • It's okay to have preferences but being racist is not okay.

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  • ABSOLUTELY!

    Do I personally? No, but forcing someone to date outside of whatever their desired pool of people is will always backfire.

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  • Personally I think you like who you like whither their tall short black or white. Its the personality that counts!
    But for a romantic relationship to work you have to be attracted to them too.
    Being (un) attracted to someone because of their race is the same as being attracted to them because they have ('nt) got a certain colour of eyes or because they have ('nt) got freckles.
    You can't change certain things about your self so I dont think its any different with race.
    You can't hold it against someone if they are (nt) attracted to a certain race, its not being racist its just they way your brains made up.
    I think its completely fine to (not) date a certain race it your not attracted to them just like its completely fine to (not) date gingers if your not attracted to them.

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  • I think people should not be shammed to have a preference for a particular race. However, saying you'll never date anyone from race "X" or disregard dating a person who you get along with and would potential date if they were anything but race "X" does seem to have some racist undertone to your decision making.

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  • It's not fair to hold stereotypes to people, if you've watched the news... The few ruin it for the many. If you want to date you own race, then do so... If you want to date outside your race, then do so.
    You can have a preference, everyone has preferences.

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  • I think they do. It's a win for both sides. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want me. As long as they're not bitching and complaining about races they don't like, I see nothing wrong with it.

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    • I don't think they should walk around being prejudice and stereotyping people, but if that's their excuse for not dating x type of people... whatever gets them through the night.

  • Maybe it's not right, but no one should date anyone they don't want to date.

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  • Yes I'm racist. -bows- I don't date peeps from certain countries. UK , Nz , Australia and U. S.

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What Guys Said 53

  • Its not racism, its personal prefference. If we claim that its wrong to find a particular trait to be more aesthetic then another then we might as well say that all prefferences are wrong. Its wrong that you don't like obeiss people, or anorexicly thin people. Its wrong to like/not like some one who is athletic, who has tattoos. Its sexist to find women/men more attractive etc. Its ridicoulus. I am not offended if a black woman doesn't find me attractive because one its not even a choice and two even if it was its her choice to make and it has no bearing on me nor does it affect me and my rights and freedoms. So no not only is it not racist but it is in fact ridicioulus to suggest that it is, and that is coming from a guy who finds every ethnicity attractive in their own way (each group has their qualities and quirks which make them attractive). I would say its a shame since it reduces your dating pool but again thats their choice to make and to force them to choose otherwise is not equality but subjugation.

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  • Writing off an entire race of people as 'unattractive' is racism. Period. People use the term 'preference' to just convince themselves that they aren't racist, while in reality, they are.

    If someone has seen EVERY person of a particular race, and then concludes that people of that race are unattractive, only then would he/she NOT be a racist.

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    • It's not racist to have a type. That's stupid. People have fetishes and ideal mates during childhood and it's based on who you found attractive at that age (who was around and really nice and older). It has nothing to do with racism

    • Some people like blondes. Black people and Asians don't have naturally blonde hair. Are these people racist because they like blonde hair? No. You don't know what racism is and you're misleading other people and it's hurtful to creative thinking and actual equality

    • What if they're not attracted to the RACIAL IDENTITY of the other person rather than their race?

      You've simplified things way too much and crushed any type of creative thinking or actual individual thought like George Orwell's 1984 by misusing words like racism

  • Of course they do. Having a racial preference toward another race isn't wrong and it doesn't make someone a racist if they choose to date someone from a particular race. When it comes to dating, we are ALLOWED to be as discriminatory as we please, which is why discrimination in dating is actually tolerated by society. If a man doesn't want to date a fat chick, then he has every right to exclude them from his dating pool. The same way women have every right to exclude short men from their dating pool.

    I do understand that some people refuse to date individuals from a race, because of negative stereotypes about said group. While I do find their decision to be very ignorant and to a degree, racist. They as an individual have a right to decide who they want to date. Dating is too much of a personal gamble as it can lead to cohabitation, sex, marriage and kids. No one should be forced or required to do these intimate/romantic/life changing things with someone that they don't want to, just for the sake of equality.

    In the case of racist hiring process, well that is just flat out illegal. We have laws that specifically state that employers, landlords or anyone that represents a corporation cannot discriminate based on race, gender, religion, culture and etc. However, no such law requires people to not discriminate in dating. While everyone is entitled to equal opportunity in employment, no one is entitled to another person's intimate love and affection.

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    • People form their likes and dislikes for a dating partner at a young age, just like their fetishes, based on what they see and who they see around them. It has nothing to do with racism. Some people only like blondes or blue eyes and no Asians have naturally blonde hair or blue eyes. There's so much more to this than I could ever go into but this entire topic is just a biased bullshit propaganda piece that leaves no room for free thought or interpretation

  • Racism according to me is where one imposes their superiority over another based on skin color etc

    In the dating sphere it's a choice always, whatever they choose :) I won't call or term it racist or racism :)

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  • Your choices only represent two possibilities and there are others which do not involve prejudices or stereotypes. If a Caucasian man does not want to date an Oriental woman because he is not attracted to Oriental women, that doe not make him racist. That man is capable of treating Oriental women with dignity and respect and affording them equal rights. To conclude that a person is racist simply because they are not attracted to a particular race is an overuse of the term and it makes race relations more difficult; it is simply looking for an opportunity to play the race card.

    If you are not attracted to fat girls, does that make you a weight bigot? If you are not attracted to short girls, does that make you a height bigot?

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  • "Do people have the right to be racist when it comes to their personal dating preferences?" Yeah just because you like ___ people "race wise" doesn't mean that they have to like you, right? Nor should you (we) try to shame them for it. Naw just go to the 1's who are open to interracial dating instead whining about it (not talking you QA... im sure ya knew that tho LOL). Since there are millions of mixed babies of every combo known to man and somebody had to make them, right?

    Now it is racist when I see an MF dare say " IMHO, all ___people are ugly". Like yeah, GTFOutta here with BS. Cuz there are plenty of Chewbacca looking ass hoes in every race. treehouse.alphabity.com/.../lolligans.gif

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    • Why you have to hate on Chewbacca? Your fucked up man. Look at everything that wookie has done for us.

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    • Meanwhile the grandparents are the ones taking care of their daughter and her baby. Kind of a common theme going on now a days.

    • @Northeast106 LMAO wise words spoken by a decent man #Agreed.

  • I hate to scream racism but I think I may have an unpopular opinion on the subject. When it comes to racial preferences I think a lot of that is ingrained in us by the media and entertainment industry. Things like light skin are glorified along with certain features that are more European so naturally the greatest number of people will find those types of things over the alternative. Is it racist to have that preference? No but it is racist that our culture as a whole pushes that as an ideal. The things we find beautiful are taught to us by our environment they aren't born into us or anything. I think it's gradually changing but it's an incredibly slow process.

    I think it's annoying when people say "I'm attracted to only [insert race] and I can't change/help it!" Our preferences can change all the time with exposure to different environments and cultures. I grew up in a nearly all white town and when I was really young I was only interested in white girls. This gradually changed as I got older and had a more diverse group of friends. I got passionate about traveling and learning about different cultures which slowly caused me to debrainwash myself from that Eurocentric ideal. It was a pretty enlightening experience for me to drop these subconscious racial stereotypes that we all grow up with. Many of these can create a lot of self hate in nonwhites. That's a different topic that I could write a lot about in itself.

    Also to everyone that says they don't find a particular race attractive or dating material, if you were thrown into an environment where there were only men and women of that race you'd eventually find them attractive. It isn't like you'd go through your whole life alone and not adapt to your new environment. You'd start dating out without a doubt and having a more broad set of beauty standards.

    So in conclusion no I don't think it's racist to have exclusionary race based beauty standards BUT the historical things that led to these preferences are racist in origin.

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  • "I don't find (race X) physically attractive" = not racist
    "I'd never date one of those (racial slur), they're bad people" = racist

    People have the "right" to think anything they like, of course, because you can't stop them having thoughts in their head.

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  • Who is to tell them they have to date a race they aren't comfortable with? Better yet who will choose to enforce it lol

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  • I think people should be able to refuse to date people based on whatever criteria they see fit. We can't force people to date someone they don't want to.

    Sometimes there are certain physical traits that someone finds unattractive and certain races might be more likely to have those traits. Part of it could also be subtle racism/prejudiced but as long as they aren't treating people disrespectful I don't see it as being a severe problem. Simply refusing to date a certain race whether it be beacue of racism or just personal preference is relatively harmless in my opinion.

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  • One can argue you have the right BUT it doesn't change the fact that excluding races based on ethnicity is consider discrimination/racist. Why? Because race has nothing to do with creating a loving relationship. You can't exclude a whole race because you dont like something specific about them - it makes the person feel inferior to you based soley on ethnicity - that is the definition of racism

    At the moment we do have the right to discriminate. There is no love police giving out tickets.

    Conclusion -> NO we should not have the right to discriminate based on ethnicity because your opinions are altered by soceity influences. They are simply not your natural thougts. If one believes they have the right to put someone else in an inferior position because they are born from a different peice of land than you, then one could argue we also have the right to work with people we prefer. BUT again just like a loving relationship has nothing to with race, a great employee has nothing to do with race either.

    Same idea, different application but yet different opinions. Seems biased

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  • vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    I am certain that the idea of "race" is a flawed and inconsistent term which we used which are based on lazy visual stereotypes that ingeniously and practically work on the most parts (which is why I still use the term).

    However, having preferences on such a flawed idea is ridiculous. You essentially you don't what you are saying when you say you "prefer black guys" since what you perceive as "black" would be inconsistent if anyone tried hard enough.

    One could argue this about sex or whatever since it's what we think looks like the sex is heavily incorporated in our judgement but sexes are discrete whereas race is a quick go-to term.

    Now, I am not sure about whether they should have the right or not but I don't think it's a good thing. People are quick to throw the no choice attraction card when I think that our reactions and immediate feelings towards stimuli was heavily influenced from how we perceive certain things in the first place.

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  • For one, I think we can agree that people who refuse to date their *own* racial group probably have some issue. Maybe they hated their parents, or they feel ashamed, etc.

    For two, either people have the "right" to be racist in dating, or people do not have the right to choose who they sleep with.

    That is, either those "racist" white girls who refuse to date black guys or indian guys have every right to do so...

    Or someone else has the "right" to choose who they date, meaning they are basically subjugated slaves.

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  • Its not racist becuase you aren't attracted to lets say a black/brown skin colour, you can't make me iether
    And if someone has a steriotype in his head and does get t know this person hell/shell findout its treu or not.

    I personally im not attacted to black girls at all, its not becuase im a racists its simply becuase i prefer something else

    If you like small girls or slim girls then you also won't like very tall or very fat girls, what you state is basically the same on with skin colour

    So in short :, no its not racists you like what you like deal with it

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  • You can't force people to be equal opportunity when it comes to their love life. Dating isn't the same thing as a company, or an educational opportunity. You have a right to earn a living, and have access to education, healthcare, etc. You do not have a right to tell people who to date in my opinion. If a woman only likes guys who are 6'2, I can't tell her she should date a man who's 5'8 because of equality. Same difference, I can't make a girl date me if she doesn't want a white man. It's not racism, it's attraction. That being said, many people have, and are willing to date outside of their race. Instead of fixating on the one's who have no interest in doing so, we should focus on those who actually want to date us.

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  • I do only because how are you going to tell that person differently, especially when they don't care about the opinion of said ethnic group they dislike? It's not like they're going to be adequately reprimanded to change their opinion or their preferences. This is of course assuming we mean racist as in "Black women are loud, obnoxious Jezebels" or "White women are cave bitches" and not "I'm just not attracted to dark skin" or "I don't find White men look masculine enough for me" since physical attraction sometimes can't be explained (For instance, I personally don't know why I find all ethnic group's facial features attractive, why I find blonde hair disgusting, why I hate blue eyes, and why I prefer curly hair over straight hair other than I just do).

    This is why I think people should be able to be openly racist so that people aren't let down when they find out that someone hates them for being a specific ethnic group. Now, I don't mean destructively openly racist, just allow people to say stupid shit so the person on the receiving end can know right away that you won't get along and move on with their day.

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  • What constitutes racism in regard to dating preferences and what doesn't? Is your definition the same definition as everyone else's definition?

    I'm not really attracted to Black women, South East Asian women and White women, sure there are some attractive looking women from those races but those races of women are not my desired preference. I prefer Indian women, Middle Eastern women and non-Black and White Latin American women. I am not generally attracted to very dark skinned or very light skinned skin complexions. Is it racist? To some people, yes, but is it a racist to me? No! It's just my preference and if that offends someone so what? I really don't care.

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  • People have the right to prefer completely anything when it comes to selecting a partner. And how would you even force people who don't prefer certain races to start preffering them? And why would you even? It would be a doomed relationship from the wery start if one had hidden problems with their partner's race that they're 'forced' to hide from the PC police.

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  • Of course they should have that right.

    Beyond the fact that everyone has the right to be as stupid or small minded as they want to be, how would one enforce a law that says you DON'T have the right to be a racist prick? Are you going to force people to date and marry people they don't want to be involved with? Based on what, the other person's interest in the racist? At that point you're basically saying that people are entitled to a relationship without the need for reciprocation from the other party.

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  • Honestly what is the alternative? Force everyone to rotate the ethnicity they are dating? Plenty of people feel more attracted to some looks over some others.

    Obviously it might be a bad reason not to date someone, but it is their choice and they're entitled to it.

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  • It is in error to base any decision upon a stereotype or prejudice. But if I prefer one characteristic over another when deciding whom to date or cast a vote for Miss Universe it should not be mistaken for racism.

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  • Having a preference doesn't have to have anything to do with prejudice, that's just fucking dumb.

    If you don't find a certain race attractive whatever that race is, that doesn't make you racist. It's just a physical preference like all others, hair color, height, weight things like that for example.

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  • You are entirely free to choose who you date based on any thought you have even if its biggoted just because you have this "private thought" doesn't make it right but shouldn't be judged by society neither.

    Personally I'm open to date any human girl ethnicity.

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  • Here my take on this and I don't care what anyone says. I've dated black and white girls and in the end my relationships with the black girls were the worst. They all lasted less than a week and a half and drove me insane. My relationship with white girls lasted at least 3 months with the exception of one because she had to move away. Even when the relationships ended I found that white women were more understanding than black women. I've tried dated black woman, but find I don't connect well with any of the ones I've dated. And before anyone says they're not all the same how about I put a bowl of gummy bears in front of you and say not all of them are poisoned? Would you eat any?

    I just don't connect with any black women are the level I do with white women and if I'm a racist for that then I don't give a fuck. I've tried dated black woman and I won't try again. I'll stick to what I know makes me happy.

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  • People have the right to be racist not only in dating, but in all situations. That doesn't make it right, but (at least in America) we have the right to believe what we want to belive, and the right to say what we want to say.

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  • It's not racist.
    It's based purely off of looks.
    It's an aesthetic preference.
    At least it should be.
    Someone who says, "I'll only date white guys because black guys are dumb," is clearly racist. And should be left on the trash heap of humanity.

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    • And of course they have "the right" to do whatever they wish with their dating habits.
      I'm certainly not going to tell Kim K she needs to make a porno with a white guy in the name of equality.

  • Who they marry, fuck, and have kids with is their right and can never be taken away. If they only date a certain race and all out avoid another because of racial prejudice then good for them. It only becomes a probably when vocalize this practice and justify their reasons. A Latino guy can date only white woman because he's attracted to her features, but the minute goes out his way talking about her fair skin looking better than a Latina woman's is when it's wrong.

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  • It comes down to a personal preference. It's not a matter of racism. Racism is when you look down upon another race and believe that yours is superior to them. I have dated interracially, Even though I still had a preference for dating white women. When you date interracially, There are things to consider. Id their culture different than yours? How will you be viewed by their family and friends? These are all realities that one needs to consider before choosing to do it.

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  • Not this question again :(
    People should date whomever they want.
    Don't like Whites/Blacks/Asians or whomever I don't care.
    Date whomever you are attracted to.

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  • I'm not racist and I sure as hell wouldn't date a racist. I think beautiful women can be found anywhere in the world, but that's just my opinion, and people don't deserve to be demonized for disagreeing with me. Let's face it, looks do matter when it comes to dating, and looks are the one and only thing that are actually affected by one's race. Being heterosexual doesn't mean I'm sexist either.

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