Do you fall hard and fast or are you a hard ass?

Say you're talking to a new person and you get along really well; lots of chemistry, flirting, common interests, physical attraction etc.

Do you tend to develop feelings quickly for that person or are you guarded with them for a while and keep your heart on lockdown?

Why do you think you're this way?

  • I'm charmin soft. I develop feelings quickly.
    63% (59)59% (36)62% (95)Vote
  • I'm a total hardass. Not even being shot in the ass with all of Cupid's arrows could make me fall for them.
    37% (34)41% (25)38% (59)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Naturally soft as Charmin but constantly getting hurt has caused a wall to form. The Charmin is still there, it's just protected by layers. I try to keep my feelings at bay when I like someone. And when I feel myself becoming attached or like I'm coming off as clingy, then I automatically distance myself. Defense mechanism and all that good stuff.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I fall fast if they are my type. But act all tough inside to myself lol.

    Idt many women realize how quickly guys can catch dem feels.

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    • Right! I feel ya bro. I'm such a softie too. With the right girl, inside a week I'm already thinking long-term relationship. I agree with you though, I don't think women realize how quickly we can fall for them.

    • Show All
    • @kaylaS91 exactly!. If it's not mutual then very dangerous territory.

      Asker- your investment Portfolio analogy is SPOT ON.

What Girls Said 31

  • I'm definitely the latter. I stay guarded for a long time, or at least try to. Naturally I'm an all-in type of person, a total softie. Through a few instances in my past, though, I've realized that's the easiest and quickest way to achieve self-destruction.
    Now I'm guarded and all until I can gain their trust, make sure we're both on the same page and want similar things. Once I reach that point, I fall hard and fast.

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    • Makes sense. No point in giving it your all emotionally if you think there's a good chance they don't feel the same way and you'll get hurt.

  • Way too fast :/ If I don't develop those feels fast, chances are that I never will. Though there have been exceptions.

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  • I tend to develop feelings quickly, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing though.

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    • Depends on who you develop them for. With the right guy it's a good thing, but unfortunately there are more wrong people out there for us then we'd like there to be.

    • Yeah, that's the hard part. Figuring out who is the right person.

    • Me too... :/

  • I don't fall easily at all. It takes a very special someone to make me fall in love but when it does happen I fall very deeply in love.

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  • lmao nah man i take my precious time.

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  • My wall is up. Have gotten hurt too many times and learned to be that way. Still not only let a few through and im very very cautious with that.

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    • Can't say I blame you one bit. There are some real bad apples out there who don't care who gets hurt, so long as they get whatever sick thing they were after.

  • I never used to fall easily not quickly for anyone. My current boyfriend is the exception. I fell for him hard and fast. I knew I loved him after two weeks. Granted we spent every single day, nearly all day with each other during those two weeks and the following five weeks, so we had a lot more time to talk and really get to know each other than most people do in that amount of time. That and he has ever quality I could ever dream of in a man.

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  • I'm a bit of both. I develop feelings for them quickly. If i have a good connection with them, if we have similar moral values etc. But I'm guarded till i feel comfortable to show them that side of me.

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  • I guess it depends. If I'm very, super attracted to them then I'm soft as a teddy bear. But if I'm only moderately attracted to them I remain pretty sturdy.

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  • I fall to quickly at times becuase I am just so surprised!

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  • Let's say I can have a crush on someone the first week I meet them.
    After another week or even a month, I'm done, I get tired.

    I've never been in love and I really doubt I'll ever fall lol

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  • Neither. It takes a lot for me to fall, but that's because I need to know the guy first. Physical attraction is one thing. I need emotional connection. And then once that develops, it's all downhill from there. I don't fall often, but when I do, I fall hard.

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  • I tend to see the good in someone right away, before I truly get to know them. Then I fall hard and fast, which tends to scare them away. I've always been that way. I'm trying to control that and move a lot slower. It's hard though, considering I'm almost 49 Lol.

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  • I fall into crush and lust rather easily...

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  • Easy come, easy go, though. It's like that with everything. I get way too excited and into things at first but then it wears off.

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  • a bit of a hardass.. as I have been told.. :/

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  • When it comes to feelings then no, I don't develop them quickly but I do become sexually attracted to a person quickly.

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  • I fall really hard but definitely not fast. I lose interest quickly too.. so most of the time I'm crushless which can be boring at time to time.

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  • my past has taught me to be a total hardass

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  • Not often but if I do then it's pretty much immediately...

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  • Vote C

    My body = INSTANT crazy sexual feelings = super, super soft
    My heart + emotions = NEVER get involved = reinforced titanium.

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  • I always get fucked over, I should learn how to be a hard ass

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  • Total hardass over here. Love pretty much terrifies me. Technically I'm not afraid of love, I'm hust afraid of faliong for the wrong person. I live in a family mostly made up of women who have made some big mistakes because of love. My mom was a teen single mom, my aunt has 5 kids and all their dads left her, my aunt was abused by her boyfriend but stayed because she loved him, my other aunt has a boyfriend who is a total freeloader, even my cousin who just turned 20 is already in an abusive relationship, my second oldest cousin secretly got married to a murderer who was fresh out of prison. I've seen people do stupid things for love. I've decided that love won't make a fool out of me. I'm not gonna fall in love quickly. If I'm going to fall in love, I want to be sure it's with the right guy.

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    • Those are some role models you got there, yeesh!

    • Yea my family is kinda messed up. I'm just seriously trying not to screw up like the rest of my family. The best part about having my family is that they teach you exactly what NOT to do.

  • I develop feelings quickly but I pretend to be a hard ass. Some lose interest after a bit so I can never really win.

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  • I don't trust easily so it takes a year or so to develop feelings for someone. Usually people don't stick around for that long.

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  • I almost never fall for guys but when I do I fall really hard and end up losing my cool and them in the process :/

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  • I have never fallen in love or have dated before until this year. I would think the guys were cute but I never had any intention of dating and rejected quite a few guys before meeting my current man. I feel MADLY in love with him. I was so ridiculously infatuated, I couldn't believe myself. I was infatuated the moment I laid eyes on him. We dated for a about a week before moving in with each other. We have been living together for a year now.

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  • I'm definitely a total hardass. Cupid couldn't get his arrow through this steel wall around my heart. I have been in unhappy relationships and I never want to be that unhappy again. So I take time to get to know a guy before I develop feelings for him

    I have total control over my emotions, but when I fall in love I fall hard, and I'm totally committed to him.�� I ha

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  • I'm a total hardass. I learnt from my mistakes, I suffered from a broken heart once, I used to be soft, but not anymore. Some exceptions happens sometimes, like melting inside for hot guy flirting with me, but I don't show that at all, till I really get to know this person and trust, and still I act overprotective, sometimes this thing won't even allow me from having close friends in my life.

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  • I wish that gorgeous enough to make a random guy ogle at me as a proof that he is falling in love with me by first sight.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Very hard to answer for me, I've met a lot of cute girls with a lot of commen intrests who even admited they wanted me where i felt nothing for
    And I've also met a girl who i simply dont get at all, our intrests are the same only she's much more extreeme in most of these things and i fell like a brick for her
    (after 2 years i am still chasing her no matter if im in a relationship or not)

    Most girls I've been with where just sex toys, eventhough we liked the same stuff and where very much alike, yet i didn't really feel anything for them

    (just a side note, i regret using these girls a lot and have appogised to all of them. During these times i thought willing to have sex with someone was the same as being in love with them, and the relationships I've been in during the time I've been chasing that other girl then the other person in the relationship was aware and i honestly told them i would pick her over anyone, but will mostlikely never happen)
    and yes, Ik im a idiotic asshole :P

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  • I can fall right away. I trust my intuitive capabilities. I can love someone and not have to be with them :) That gives me a degree of freedom and objectivity.

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    • I wish I had a random guy staring at me hard because I know that he is in love with me by first sight.

    • Don't men do that already @AverageJane? :)

    • I am ugly! Every time I am looking and I would find a guy with an annoyed expression on his face against me. There are many times that I am not even looking at him and he gets annoyed. I wish I were attractive enough to catch all sorts of guys even if they are old because they are good showing attractions toward young women.

  • Depends on what type of ammo Cupid's using, so if let's say i feel a lot of chemistry between us etc, that doesn't mean i immideately fall for her, that means to me that maybe i'll fall for her some time, but i need to get to know the person more first.

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  • Consultant is right I think.
    A lot of women don't realize that a lot of guys are ol'softies at heart.
    I personally am a marshmallow physically and emotionally.

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    • We look tough, but.. Is just an illusion lol. I'm fragile lol

    • @ConsultantIsBack
      I always find it strange when girls are like, "Why are you so unemotional?"
      Meanwhile I'm dying over here hahaha

  • Lack of experience has molded me into a cup ready to hold something, but something precious.

    My sister tells me that I'm, "... such a girl." I guess that means sensitive and yearning for something real.

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  • I'm definitely a hard ass. Look at my profile pic. No pun intended.

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  • It depends. I still date around even though i find her physically, emotionally attractive.

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  • I'm a very affectionate and loving guy, so I definitely development feelings quickly... especially when she gives me strong signals of liming me back.

    I admit it, I like being wanted by women and can be a total slut for female affection. I can't get enough! :)

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  • I dont develop feelings quickly , it happened only once in my life after months ( 6 or 7 months ) and only when she started dating another guy... honestly i dont find myself getting attached to a girl like that very quickly if ever...

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  • I fall so quickly!

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  • It takes just the right kind of moxie to get me to fall in love. Otherwise it's a slow slow grind

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  • Due to my dark past, I stay to keep my guard up to everyone. It's really hard for me to develop a feeling for someone.

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  • I tend not to form attachments at all unless I've spent very long periods of time with them.

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  • I did sort of!! Has only really happened once for a "special girl" who turned out to not be so kind.

    So I no longer fall hard and fast. In fact will never "love" again. Simple. And if I fall im pulling out. Won't suffer that pain twice in a lifetime mate.

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  • Definitely a hardass. I take this weird pride in being cynical and I don't fall for them until it's too late.

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