After the first date, I'm a go dutch kind of girl (either he or I pays, or we both pay for our own). That being said, I started dating this guy who was, I swear, calculating our dates in his head. We would be on the same one date, and maybe he would pay for dinner, but then he'd tell me that I was going to pay for the movie later on in the date or the next activity rather then even let me offer to do so, but even beyond that if we're sort of on the same date, that one person, in my mind at least, is the one paying for that date, and then the next date would be the other person or we'd both be paying our own separate ways the whole time.
It started to bother me that he treated our dates like I owed him. We went on a few more where he would tell me, I paid for the last thing, its your turn now. It really killed a lot of the mood that it seemed like he was always keeping tally or a score, and we've since broken it off.
What do you think of the situation? Was I in the wrong about this? Was this guy being a bit cheap?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think you were wrong. I would be really put off if someone started doing that with me. I understand where he's coming from though, but in my opinion he is going about it all wrong. I think he just wanted to establish that even though he was paying for something at certain times, that didn't mean that it was going to be like that every time. The problem with that is that it makes it seem like he is keeping score as you say. It's also a little rude because he just dictates 'how it is'.
I usually always pay for dinner and I say something like "I got it". Partly because I think it kills some of the mood to figure out the check and divide it. But if it's in e early dating stage I probably won't pay for anything other than food and drinks (unless I know that she doesn't have an easy economy). I would say that everything is always fine as long as everyone assumes that they are paying for themselves.1
Most Helpful Girl
It's not such a bad thing to trade off paying but it sounds like the *way* he went about it was off putting. My thought is whoever asks out the other person pays as a way of thanking them for their time and then divvy things up however you like. So it's really nbd to split the bill. But always keeping track of it as obsessively as he was? Not attractive.1