How many of you have been rejected in the past and it affects you to this day?

In high school, I was rejected by a dude I had the hots for. I was unlucky enough to have to share a locker with him the following semester, bad chance. Having to encounter the individual I was bitter towards on a daily basis negatively affected my outlook towards men. This took place when I was 16 and now I'm 21. In high school I was asked out by a few guys but rejected them all because they didn't meet my standards. I've pretty much shut down every guy that has ever shown interest and am still single. I am so bitter towards men I have come to the conclusion that I will never find someone. I do not know if it was a personality change causing me to become bitter or I am being childish. Is this normal? -_-

  • Yes it is common
    51% (21)44% (27)47% (48)Vote
  • No
    17% (7)11% (7)14% (14)Vote
  • Grow up
    32% (13)45% (28)39% (41)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope. All rejections are bc not my type or I'm not their type. Their loss 👍

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    • But... you're in good shape 🙃

    • You can probably assume what my type is lol

      I got rejected often when I was younger, skinny and made way more mistakes.

Most Helpful Girl

  • While this is something you need to get over (I mean come on, it was one guy, in high school), it's not uncommon to be affected by such things throughout life. I was treated like I didn't exist by my best friend in middle school, went into a near suicidal depression because of it, realized all my other "friends" were just using me later on, and was bullied by another "best friend" in high school, so now I don't let myself make friends outside of work or school. The closest thing I have is my boyfriend, but that's only because I've never been hurt by a guy before. I'm fine being without friends though as long as I have my boyfriend (or later boyfriends if things turn sour down the road) and my family. If you're fine being single, then you don't have to be worried about it. But if you want a meaningful relationship and that would make you happy, then you need to get over the one guy in high school, realize not all men are like that, and possibly lower your standards (assuming they're the kind you have to jump through hoops to achieve).

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    • I believe we have spoken before, regarding a savings account. I'm sorry you had to go through that and you're so mature!

    • I am mature myself, also confident (even though this questions begs to differ) and responsible, I just need to learn to let life take its toll and go with the flow.

    • It's a difficult skill to learn, but as they say, practice makes perfect. I've been practicing getting out of my shell more for years and it seems to be working =) Nicw talking to you again btw!

What Guys Said 27

  • I don't know. I guess you could say it's not "normal", but then again, what do normal people do? Most normal people are okay with not getting what they want. As a result, a lot of normal people go through life unfulfilled, just getting by instead of living fully. It doesn't look so fun to me. I don't think the people who tell you to "grow up" really know everything. They're probably the same sort who muddle through life having resigned themselves to mediocrity long ago.

    If it's someone you just thought is "hot", that will fade in time. But if it's someone you actually thought was really special? That's hard. I don't blame you for feeling the way you feel, in that case. I know what that feels like and it's just shitty. Knowing you might have been able to get the one you wanted if you just didn't make those stupid mistakes, the ones everyone else seems to avoid without any effort. Knowing you might have got them if only you could have gotten them to see your good qualities.

    I don't blame you for being bitter. If those guys didn't meet your standards, you probably would have been unhappy with them anyway. This is kind of a question for which there is no answer. I think your feelings will pass if they are ready to pass. You just might have to wait.

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  • Well, being rejected in the past, though it hurt at the time, hasn't hurt me personally nor followed me to this day. Sometimes rejection helps you be a better version of yourself and get things into perspective. Rejection should make you wiser, not bitter.

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  • i'm sorry you were rejected but it happens. you can't take it all that personally. not everyone is going to like you just like you won't necessarily like everyone.

    i think you need to just get past it and realize it's a part of life.

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  • I became like the duck , that shit ran off my back. No bitterness or hate for any of the girls that shunned me. Thus I am a happier person. Hell why let someone that your not with have all this control over who you are

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  • Not everyone is going to like you and vice versa. It's something in life that you have to realize as not everyone is going to accept you as for who you are on the inside and out.

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  • It's common to be rejected by some mainly if you go after the hot ones.
    It'd not normal to become bitter because of it

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  • So you were so hurt by being rejected that you rejected everyone who approached you? Yeah I can't really feel bad for you. You've done the same thing you are mad about several times over. Get the fuck over it. Those guys probably really liked you just as much as you liked the guy who turned you down.

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    • i dint think getting rejected and feeling bad = angry. she felt bad and maybe the guys she rejected felt bad. but you like who you like. i think she feels bad now bush isn't interested in anyone. thats not same as being angry at rejection,.

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    • How am I being immature? I do not take my frustration out on others. I simply share it virtually on an anonymous site. Really now?

    • Getting bitter at all men over a single rejection usually means you're immature. Maybe if youd known each other for a ridiculous amount of time and thought he was your soul mate I could understand. All you're doing is making that immaturity less obvious.

  • I was sort of rejected in high school. I told my friend I liked a girl he then told her. She said Damn it I don't like him that way. I was fine but it destroyed any confidence I had. I still don't have any with women. I know I'm a great person, and like myself I just don't think girls are romantically interested in me at all.

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    • See, it does destroy confidence, example of confidence is shaken

    • You do not need to lose confidence over rejection: rejection doesn't mean you aren't worthy, it means the girl you pursued just didn't feel the same. I've been rejected a bunch, I look at it as a learning experience or as I dodged a bullet: better to be alone than with a person that doesn't like you for exactly who you are. So hang in there.

    • I know and that's what people tell me but not having any interest shown in me makes it hard for my confidence to grow. That's why I have confidence in all other areas in my life except dating. I'm working on it but it will be a slow process. But process nonetheless

  • As a guy, it is quite common to get rejected by girls when attempting to approach them. The best we can do is to one-up the girl and attract someone else and move on. If the girl is petty, she will get jealous at the attention she is missing out on, then she will make a move on us.

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  • "I am so bitter towards men I have come to the conclusion that I will never find someone."

    As someone who's in the same boat but reversed, I must ask why? I mean, it's not like you've never had a guy show interest and it doesn't seem like most guys treat you like you're worthless.

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  • I only got rejected by random women I approach. Only like 1 or 2 of them stick into mind because of how rude they were when rejecting me. But I don't even remember their names or faces so it doesn't matter too much.

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  • I'm affected... for the better. I'm more numb to rejection than I used to be.

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  • Everyone gets rejected. Either deal with it and move on or hold onto the anger. If you hold on to it, it just makes it that much harder to find someone

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  • You sound like a typical girl to me. Isn't that what all these hoes do now a days? Just shut dudes down cuz you think your better than they are.

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  • I've been rejected, but I'm over it or just about over it.

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  • I have been rejected by girls, till I realized I was doing it wrong..

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  • i wouldn't call it rejections but incompatibility

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  • Same shit still applies just as it always has, just further along in time

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    • What do you mean?

    • Methods of rejection, people are too picky, lusting and loving for the wrong reasons, getting passed over because you're not the HS prom king or the star athlete etc same logic regardless of it's 1975, 85, 95 05 today Elliot had good points

  • Rejected a lot, accepted a lot. ..50/50

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  • We all get rejected at one point, you just gotta look at it as a learning curve.

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  • Yes it is common

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  • I asked out a girl only once in my life. I wish them saying "no" could be the worst that could happen. That happened years ago and haven't tried since and have no intentions to in the foreseeable future.

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  • Grow up Grow up

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  • Oh yeah. I had a massive crush on my best friend and I told her and she was nice about it but it fucked up our friendship. Now I don't like getting too close to people cause I don't wanna feel that way again 😢

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  • I was always rejected, that's why I'm still a virgin :(

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  • Mehh never been rejected really. I did ask this girl out who was much talller than me but she rejected me. I figured it wouldn't work but gave it a shot anyways. She was giving me all the clues and hints, she was confused

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  • No, I've never been rejected, never asked a girl out

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What Girls Said 11

  • I don't know anyone who enjoys being rejected. Whether it be from a job or school or by a person. Rejection sucks. Period. And it does tend to stay with you. But as bitter as you feel about being rejected, I'm sure the guys you rejected have some similar feelings.

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    • Yes there must be something with my approach. I try to use very basic conversation topics to help someone at ease, but it doesn't work that long, they just quit talking, including them intiating...

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    • lol you're perfect!

    • 😊😊😊

  • Look, in life... every single one of us will reject and will be the one rejecting at different points in our lives. There's amazing symmetry in this world that evens a lot of things out. The boys in high school you rejected might've felt the same way you did. Remember that. It's not wrong to reject but you gotta accept that sometimes you're gonna be on the receiving end... even if it doesn't happen often.

    Whether it be being rejected by your dream school, dream job, or dream guy... rejection hurts and takes a toll on us all. We're all just humans who wanna be happy and loved. You have to fight to let it go, because you've got one life to live and it's worth finding a good guy if you believe that's part of your happiness.

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  • nope because that was a long time ago and i understand that people have different standards and what they deem pretty

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  • Yeah, the first crush I've ever had kinda rejected me for being "too tall" although we were about the same height so I always kinda tried to stay away from developing crushes on shorter or equally tall guys (actually guys in general) as I just thought they'd all think I'm too tall so I wouldn't have a chance with them anyways.. :P

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  • I've been rejected but it doesn't effect me today, why would it? I see no point in getting hung up on a person that didn't like me.

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  • I never got over it. It really depends on how much you like or love that guy and how hard your heartbreaks. For me, I go all in when I like someone and this guy was special to me, so my heart broken to a thousand pieces. I don't think I will ever forget it.

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  • i think getting rejected sucked, plus you haven't met anyone you like and that sucks. i dont think you really care about the first rejection so much as you care that you're not meeting anyone you like.

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    • Agreed. Are you in the same boat?

  • I have never been rejected simply because I never asked a guy out and the only time I told a guy I liked him first, well he liked me 2 (he's so cute 😍)

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  • I'm in between A & C on this one. Everyone is rejected and it stings a lot. But having it cause you become extremely bitter... especially if they were just crushes and not long term partners... hints at some deeper seeded issues to me. Do you have family issues that make you more sensitive to this?

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  • I was rejected by a friend that I saw pretty often a few years ago and it makes me not want to put myself out there.

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  • You're like the guys on here who are so angry at women and always making posts about how terrible women are and how they'll be single for life, die a virgin, and be lonely all because women are dumb bitches.
    It's not good. You're only hurting yourself. Nothing wrong with having standards, but don't let yourself become bitter at guys.

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    • Except that this girl has received plenty of interest from the opposite sex, whereas those guys have not.

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    • Guys are angry at western women because they go for ass holes and reject good guys or treat them badly. Women have destroyed marriage and family and it's the men who are always being berated in the media, so yer, men have every right to be bitter and angry.

    • And guys chase after sluts? I mean, they're sluts for a reason, they're fuckin somebody right?
      And how many women are treated badly by men too? Or beaten? Or raped? Or abused? So shall we all just hate each other? It's stupid.
      And you can't only blame women, it takes two to tango, so if there is a problem, both are equally responsible.
      But notice those problems only affect certain types of people while others go off and live happily ever after.

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