Can't GET OVER the fact she has loved before me?

Can't get this girl out of my head that I recently dated. The main reason it did not work out is because I found out she was seriously involved with this boy in her early teen years that lasted for more than two SOLID years. It happened during her "innocent" and teen days so he will always be special to her in that regard. They never had sex but they were very close. To make matters worse he broke up with her. So it was not like she broke up with him. And she told me she cried over him. It was her "first love" and first serious relationship she said.

Things were going well until I found that out and I could hardly look at her the same again. And part of it was my fault for bringing it up.

Although she can dent it, a girl will always have a sweet spot for her first forever. It is a sweet and innocent love that can't be replicated. Now that she is in college, love is not as "innocent".

So I don't know, I feel like I am doomed to be alone for life because I can't get over this. I am afraid to develop strong feelings for girls because when I find this out it crushes me.

And if is almost near impossible to find a girl who hasn't loved a boy in her teen years.

Updates:
I wish I can feature a question like this
To add, it was all over a misunderstanding too according to her. She said she was accused of sending nudes and her boyfriend broke up with her. She has only been dating guys short term since.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should have given her more of a chance. No one is perfect, and if she can't go back to the previous ex, then what's the problem? Do you fear that she might not love you as much, or that your love with her might not be as special? Tell you what, she an you can make it special. The future is the specialist, not the past. You can help make memories and bring on new memories and meaning to life. She didn't even have sex with her ex. I am with someone who did have sex with his ex, and it was his first too. I am still with the guy. As long as they say they love you, and won't treat you bad and won't cheat on you why not give it a chance? there are worse things in a relationship. Like if someone cheats on you all the time, or lies to you all the time. Or if you are in a relationship where you have to do everything and they don't do nothing or no sparks or love at all. Think about it! If the good outweighs the bad in your relationship, give it a go.

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    • You can be in a "relationship" and love that person yet you may have someone else that has more meaning in your life. Someone that always has a place in your heart unconditionally no matter what. Often times this is a first love or someone from your youth and naive days of your life. A first will always be special because it is a first and it most likely occurred during a time of being naive and innocent, which gives it a sweet kick to it in itself.

      You look at situations of first love couples reuniting later in life after failed (or even healthy) relationships and people are thinking, "aww... how sweet". Something about loving young and loving that person till death is unbeatable.

Most Helpful Guy

  • try talking to other girls, she will stop haunting you soon enough. hope this helps.

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    • Maybe...

      Man, you want to trade places? You get to be 21 and drink while I can be 16 and redo my adolescence all over again.

    • i dont like alchohol :/

    • So innocent you are. Better yet... create me some sort of method for time travel.

What Girls Said 2

  • Have you not felt your first love yet?

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    • No I have not. That is the shitty part. I have had strong feelings towards girls before. I have had sex. But none of it was during my teen years. I was above 18 and around 20 when it happened. It does not have the same "innocent" vibe to it.

      I have never had an actual, exclusive girlfriend.

    • Show All
    • I know. But you are drowning out reality by ignoring that.

    • No. I think YOU are because no one's perfect. But it's your life.

  • They were together, & now they aren't - the relationship ended for a reason. Obviously it wasn't that great, & now she's with you... so what's the issue?
    I didn't have my first serious boyfriend until I was 20, & he'd had 2 serious relationships before me. We've been together for 4 years now. To be honest, I didn't really think about it all that much... I was just freaked out about being in a relationship (all my friends were in relationships, & I thought it looked like a drag lol)
    She was in her early teens for crying out loud. Get some confidence. If she's with you, she digs you. If you don't get over it, you're going to end up only being left with the chicks that no other guys want to date. If another guy has digged her before you, she's probably got some "diggable" qualities. That & she's probably learned from that relationship, so may know how to make it work with you.

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    • But again, the naiveness and innocence of teen love experiences cannot be replicated. It is special and sweet in itself. She is in college now. College represents entry into the adult realm.

      Some of the sweetest and most overwhelmingly "cute" stories are some of which older people reunite with someone from their teen years and fall in love again.

      They say it is better to be someone's last than their first.

      But nothing can beat being both someone's first and last. And a first will always be a first, however you can never guarentee to be someone's last. The only way someone is your last is if you die. Who is to say the outcome would not be different if life were extended another 50 or so years?

What Guys Said 0

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