Am I a D-Bag for losing interest in a girl because she says she got a partial mastectomy?

She had breast cancer and said she got a partial mastectomy. I haven't seen them yet, but I want a girl with nice, full breasts. Maybe I should at least wait until I see what they look like, but what if I don't like them? It will hurt her feelings if I leave right after seeing them.

  • OMG You are the biggest D-Bag ever. Don't ever even talk to me.
    58% (22)40% (10)51% (32)Vote
  • Dude, it's okay to want a girl with full breasts.
    16% (6)44% (11)27% (17)Vote
  • See results
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
For the record, we have gone on two dates.
Another update: She is fine. She isn't fighting for her life. She isn't dying of cancer. That is why she had the partial mastectomy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not a douche
    It's just what you prefer
    Nothing wrong in having a preference

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What Girls Said 9

  • I went with "D" here, dear, but Only because it Might seem you may Not love your girl... Unconditionally.
    I truly believe that if you really care about Someone Special, Love them with all of your heart and soul, No matter what color, No matter what ailment, no matter what disfigurement... I will love Her or Him forever and Not Have to hurt their feelings because beauty is only skin deep, it's Personality that Highlights and delights.
    Tt's your call, your choice. Just for a heads Up, my own cousin dated a girl who had her own breasts done, and they were very Firm and Waxy.
    Good luck and happy Holidays. xx

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    • Thanks! For the record, we have gone on two dates. We haven't even kissed yet.

    • Oh, so welcome, and good advice for maybe the future. xxoo

  • It's douchey but understandable. Since you've only gone on two dates, it isn't as bad though. These kinda situations are tough for me as an outsider to judge, because I can see how it is a feature that naturally puts you off. You're very early in your dating with her and entering someone else's world of dealing with disease isn't easy. Physical attraction is very important. At the same time, being the one going through disease... good god, that requires a lot of willpower. Imagine that being your life. You can't escape it, and people will treat you less because of it. It'd be a hard reality to swallow for any of us. What if that was you?

    Anyways, it's up to you. Ultimately, your best answer for this is gonna be whatever you are able and willing to handle. Be respectful but think it through. Do what you've gotta do. It's a sucky situation all around.

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  • Since you've only gone on a couple dates and you don't really know her, I don't think it makes you a douchebag for this to be a dealbreaker. Had you been in a relationship with her, yeah, that would be awfully fucked up, but at this point she's just another girl.

    What makes you seem like an ass rn is that this girl you know, especially romantically, has just survived (or is trying to survive) a horrible disease and all you can think of is what kind of titties you like and how you need to justify your love of big titties. If I was in your shoes, all I could think of was her well being and how scary it is when cancer gets that close to home. But no, you're thinking about boobs.

    Nothing wrong with a preference but I get the feeling you're a dick

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  • sounds like you'd be pretty involved in breast status cancer or nov cancer. (women dont often have full round breasts even without cancer)

    if they are that important to you, l you should move on. she doesn't need to feel critiques for something beyond her control. and you already know you care very much about breasts so why drag her into it.

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  • It's pretty fucked up in my opinion. She's probably already so insecure. But hey if you just started dating this girl then fine. But if you've been seeing her for a while, and you feel this way then yes you are a d-bag. Body and looks aren't everything. There is so much more to each person.

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  • Kinda douchey yes

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  • It's not really her fault that she has/had breast cancer and it's kinda mean to judge based off of a medical condition.

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  • Yes, that does make you scummy. She didn't ask for cancer. Leave her if you aren't attracted, she deserves better.

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  • It's douchey, but you're in your douchey years, so it's sort of normal. It's honestly likely that you'll go through tons of girls seeking that perfect, unattainable lustful novelty. It's awful, but also totally normal. Just a stage.

    You may get a girlfriend eventually with the best knockers in the world and something may happen to her though. I hope that doesn't happen, but life can throw some wicked curves.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Its a tough choice. I think you should do what makes you happy and comfortable. If you really like your girl then the breat thing won't be an issue. But if it bothers you and if breat are a deal breaker in a relationship then you should move on.

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  • You are saying she's not a women because she had cancer.

    "It will hurt her feelings if I leave right after seeing them. "

    That's an understatement. It will devastate her telling her she's no longer a woman. She's doesn't need to hear that, either through words or actions. She's already dealing with that in her own mind, she doesn't need you saying it.

    Yea, it's a douche bag move in my opinion. Sure, you can't help what you like, but it's pretty damn shallow in my opinion.

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    • So what do you suggest he do? Pity date her? How is that less patronizing than being honest with himself and her? Dating her is only going to make him miserable, which will only make her miserable as well.

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    • I just want everyone to be clear about the details before expressing their opinions.

    • I understand. I didn't think you would be intentionally mean to her. I doubt if anyone else did either. I hope you take the rest of what I've said in the right light. It's something that can take some soul searching.

  • Nope, go for what you want and never feel greedy or selfish! It isn't fair she gets what she wants, but you don't! Not only that, but lots of women on this very site are pretty demanding in what they like and want and would never date a guy with certain "features", so it is a two way street! Don't listen to the negative comments!!!

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  • If you're not attracted to her body then are you supposed to date her anyways just to be nice? Personally, I dont think so.

    Girls lose interest in guys over things like height, penis size, hair-loss, and muscle size so I don't think there's anything wrong with losing interest in a girl over her breasts.

    It all depends on how you handle the situation. If you let her down easily then you're not a douche, if you're rude and inconsiderate when breaking up with her then you are a douche.

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  • Yeah man, you're a bit of a tool. Physical appearance can't be everything. Would you have left her if this happed 20 years from now? Women get cancer and mastectomies, and their breasts sag, and their looks fade.

    Looks are a plus, but they can't be everything. If you're willing to leave her because she lost a breast, I can't believe you truly cared for her anyway.

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  • I sincerely hope you fall deeply in love and something minor physical happens to you and you get dumped for it.

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  • I would question your moral values. I know I would never reject a woman for something like that. It's admirable that she fought breast cancer and came out on top. Some people aren't so lucky.

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  • Douche or not, it speaks loudly about what you value.

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  • You want what you want. I'd do the same thing if I were in your shoes, and I'm sure lots of people would, too. It's not like you're leaving your wife after the cancer treatment, so it's not that douche baggy.

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  • Congratulations you are officially and D-BAG from now on...

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  • It's quite douchey, but it's still just a preference. Not one that I applaud though.

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