Guys, what's worse, being rejected outright, or being let down easy?

Like, if a girl isn't interested in you, would you rather that she come right out and say it to your face, or is it better if she gives you hints and lets you down kind of easy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've only had the "let down easy"(because I've never attempted asking a girl out since that one time) as in they said yes and then started ignoring me when I tried to set up a date. It was pretty humiliating. I haven't experienced it but I'm positive I'd prefer them just being blunt and declining my date proposal outright when I ask. I'll just tell them I understand and go on my way.

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What Guys Said 36

  • Just say it. I hate it the most when girls just leave me hanging and leave me to try to figure it out myself. Basically, a rule of thumb is never be subtle. It's ambiguous. No one knows whether you're being friendly, temporarily sad or upset or actively hate their guts or just aren't interested. Like the stories of women who just let a guy walk up to them and start talking and talking and talking, and they just don't say a word, they just let the guy figure out that she's not interested after an hour, wasting both their time, when instead she could've just said "I'm not interested, sorry." Instead, they whine about how guys don't "get it". You would think after hours of wasted time, they'd finally say something.

    In any case, just say what you mean. We're not the proverbial mind-readers. We can't tell what it means when you hold our gaze for 2.34 seconds, instead of 2 seconds. And yet some women think they're being super obvious. ugh. Sorry. Frustration. -.-

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  • "Letting me down easy" means that not only does she not want me, but she doesn't think I am strong enough to handle the truth.

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  • Just silence!! No answer at all!!!

    I know it's not an option but that's the pure worst to me.

    From your options tho, being let down easy sucks more. It does leave a bit of false hope.

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    • Totally agree with this. This is the worst when this happens. Makes you feel terrible.

    • @eightonefive

      Seriously! Cause then that's when you spend time in your head trying to figure out why and what happened. Very hard to recover from.

  • Usually the "let me down easy" method is rife with B. S. — "you are a great guy, you'll find someone" etc. etc., and I don't tolerate B. S. well at all. I am a great guy, but not good enough for you? I'll find someone, how much will she weigh?" It angers me, and so I would much prefer a straight-up "I'm not attracted to you" or some other means of saying it right to my face.

    In writing this, though, it occurs to me that it might not be a matter of letting someone down easy vs. coming right out and saying it. Rather, it might be more about "it is about you" vs. "it is about me."

    For example, instead of "You're a great guy, you'll be fine," etc. etc. (I'll be crushed), make it about you instead: "You're not my type," "I need a rich guy," "I have a boyfriend," "I still have feelings for my last boyfriend," etc.

    Doing that, you'll be letting him down easy AND coming right out and saying it.

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  • Tell me like it is and I'll be on my way. I might not like it, But I can respect the notion of honesty. I had a girl call me once and she told me that she did not think things are working out. She left that on my answering machine. So I called her up, and left a message on her answering machine and I told her that what I thought what she did was alright. I can respect the fact that she was honest with me, and I wished her best of luck with her endeavors. We had different relationship goals, So it was for the better.

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  • Honesty, please. There's no need to be blunt or cruel about it, but don't drag things out or be unclear about it either.

    (The worst? Being asked out, then dumped two days later, presumably because she never meant it in the first place. That was pretty nasty.)

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  • I think society has made people too thin skinned.

    people should know how to be sensitive for legitament reasons not lie.

    I find people who sugar coat and put being nice over truth are the fakest and least caring individuals thwre is.

    people sugar coat or tell u what u wanna do because it takes work to explain and go through the emotions afterwards.

    people are generally too stupid to appreciate straight talkers

    Anything either than a Yes or NO is from the evil one as JESUS says. Selfish opportunistic people use this well.

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  • Just say you're not interested. Anything else just means you're not interested *right now*. If I like a girl and she doesn't explicitly let me know she isn't interested in me I might try again after a certain amount of time has passed. Maybe she was interested in someone else or she had a boyfriend. Things like that are subject to change.

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  • I'd rather hear it straight. Sometimes, a woman's idea of "letting him down easy," is to lead him on and on like there's hope of a relationship and she continues to enjoy his extra favor. Other times, she's really trying to let him know gently, but he's intoxicated by infatuation and just not getting the hint.

    It's less pleasant, but has the least hardship in the long run, and can even save a friendship.

    Whatever you do, don't react with disgust when he declares himself to you.

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  • it's best to just tell him upfront. Getting rejected is no big deal, most guys like myself can get over it in a day or two. But leading a guy on is the worse because you would be wasting his time. There's millions of girls out there so most guys can accept a rejection as long as you dont waste his time so he can go for another girl.

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  • I think it's better if she tells you straight up that she isn't interested because then you don't have any false hope

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  • Either one hurts just as much so just ho ahead and call me a creep and be straight up and say no way. Therefore time is not wasted

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  • Just say it, although I'm good at recognizing when a girl isn't interested. Not all guys are like that though.

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  • I'd rather her tell me right away but in the nicest way possible cause he might not pick up on your hints and get led on.

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  • If a girl isn't interested in me, she should come right out and say it to my face

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  • Women only let men down easy so they can't be called bitches. I'd rather a woman just tell me what she actually thinks instead of using my feelings as a way to make herself feel better, as if I can't handle "I think you smell" or some other reason.

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  • Let down easy for me, i would rather people be straight forward

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  • I think it's best if she is upfront about and just tells me that she ain't interested. Saves us both time and the energy from playing mind games with each other or games.

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  • Neither, it'd be my fault if I couldn't prevent both.

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  • Me, I'd rather she was direct and unambiguous, but kind about it. If a guy has any brains he should get the picture.

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  • rejected outright is really helpful, minus public humiliation

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    • I'm always so afraid of hurting a guy's feelings though.

    • but the question of "does she like me back" fucking kills, i would rather know and hurt and get over it, rather than there still being questions and no closure

  • Being rejected outright.

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    • Being let down easy is still letting me know she's not interested, but at least it's not so brutal as being rejected outright.

  • I'd rather she just be blunt I'd understand.

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  • I'll take it straight up. Ifs he can't say it like that, she isn't worth anything to any man.

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  • They both suck especially if you like that person rejection always hurts

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  • I just wonder what it is about doing this you girls love so much

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    • We hate it. But it has to be done sometimes.

    • Don't believe for a second you hate it. And it doesn't have to be done you girls just think your better than everybody so no guy can possibly be good enough.

  • Both which is why I try to avoid talking to women

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  • doesn't matter.

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  • If you let me down easy ill have no respect for you but if its outright then fuck you too lmao 😂

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  • I'd rather let a girl tell me straight up and be honest because as harsh as the truth may be, if there's something I'm doing that's pushing girls away and is a huge turn off that I don't realize then I might keep doing that thing and hurt my success with future dates.

    Trust me, I've had tons of dates and flings where the girl would be initially attracted and then the girl would just disappear or let me down easy and say you're a nice guy but... and all this does is make me over analyze and think there's something wrong with me that I can't handle to hear only to keep making that same mistake over and over.

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