Feelings - they never rain but they do tend to pour? Is it time to call it a day with this Man-Child?

I have been dating my current, 37 year old, partner for a year and a half - on and off. We tend to be going strong and then he gets cold feet or something goes wrong.
I am aware his mum was quite harsh and cold when they were growing up and he lost his father around 15 years ago. I think this reflects on his relatioships now, as in he finds it hard to show his emotions and he finds it hard to let people in.
He does trust me however, I struggle to trust him. About 6 months ago I was using the browser on his phone and a message came through from another girl, something about the compliment he paid her, being inappropriate. I questioned him as he was sitting next to me and he told me he had complimented her after having a few drinks and he felt guilty so he deleted their chat. We split up not long after that as I was mistrusting and he needed time to think. We got back together and then we booked a holiday, when we came back from holiday he needed some space and eventually I told him that I wouldn't be waiting around as a doormat while he decided what he wanted so we split up.
We have recently over the passed few weeks sorted things out and we are seeing eachother again however, I saw on his facebook he has recently become friends with an old work collegue and they have been messaging.
I confronted him and said I was not comfortable with this situation escalating like the last time so I said if he couldnt trust himself not to pay inappropriate compliments to this woman that I'd appreciate him removing her form his friends list. He hasn't done so and therefore I assume he trusts himself.
He told me the reason he wanted me back was because he missed me.
We have discussed buying joint Christmas presents for his family. (he lives with his mum and stepdad) so I think he seems more commited than previous months however I do have reservations about letting my guard down.

Does anyone have any thoughts on how to deal with this situation?

Thank you in advance


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd say one more chance. I want to avoid judging anyone too harshly when I don't know them, but this situation sounds more than aggravating.
    Perhaps for now, just try your best to enjoy things in the moment, especially over Christmas. This guy might need a serious talking to by the end of things, but I'm sure you'll know how best to handle it.