How do you get a girlfriend?

I've heard great things about this thing called a "girlfriend", but alas I've spent all day trying to buy one and I can't seem to find any, I feel like they might be out of stock for the Christmas season, but a friend told me I can't actually buy them. So if I can't buy one how do I get it? I tried hunting for one out in the wild, but they are so elusive and hard to get. Is it possible to lower the difficulty setting on this game called "dating" so that I can have an easier time? How do I get this mythic thing called a girlfriend?


Most Helpful Girl

  • 3076 Curry Ford Rd. Orlando, FL 32806 go to this address

    • This pub is where you find a girlfriend?

    • go there and ask the leprechaun to give you scarlett's number. Then tell scarlett, "green peen ween" she will give you the secret words to tell any girl to make her ur girlfriend.

    • Hmm very interesting, and somewhat sketchy, but I have nothing better to do so I'll fly halfway across the country, and go into this pub if that means I get a girlfriend. Its easier then what the other people suggested lol.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You must sacrifice your ballsack and your wallet to the temple of Eden, to the West of Gondor

    • So I have to go to a mythical fantasy land in middle earth, and then scale the temple of eden risking my life against traps, bounty hunters, orcs, and other monsters in Middle Earth then sacrifice my ball sac and all my money just to get a girlfriend? Is there an easier way? That sounds painful to both my bank account and my balls

    • Show All
    • Ah, the ol' forgot to hire a wench translater. Rookie mistake.

      I would take riding badass giant eagles around massive volcanoes over "flirting" and "being myself" any day.

      Fare well, brave traveller. Perhaps our paths to girlfriendry will cross some day? If that day comes, how 'bout a pint of the finest ale, eh laddie?

    • Thank you for the advice brave sir, I certainly hope we will meet again one day across the vast expanses of middle earth. When that day comes you will have the finest ale money can buy at your disposal. I wish you good luck on your quest to find the mythical girlfriend.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 6

  • Have you tried mail-order brides? That might be close to what you would call a "buyable" girlfriend without having to actually even "date".

    Other than that, try and get a really good education on some rare and hard to find professional skills but is in very much demand. Once you get a good paying job from $50,000 a year or possibly even 6 figures a year (such as an airline pilot) then you can try and "buy" dates and girlfriends. And possibly even way before Christmas or just in time for the season.

  • They're out of stock around Christmas because they need to have a guy to shower them with gifts bought with his hard earned money. Usually they're just on backorder until they break up the day before Valentine's Day.

  • Stop acting weird and it will be easier

  • Try smiling a lot and asking girls numbers even if they dont know u enough? try at the local shop or park or even on the way to work or coming back from work? try complimenting girls and have confidence honestly, coz I've tried all that and it isn't even weird or creepy if u have the right approach for example ur wating for the bus at the bus stop and a very attractive girl is standing right next to u dont go and start staring at her boobs n stuff , try coming up with a good move like saying this ( Hi by the way the perfume ur wearing smells really nice what is it? coz thats how i get girls attention and thats how i got a girlfriend , women love people who appriciate them not their body so F**k the rest and hope for the best ;)

  • I wonder that also, I spend my time under cars, in comic shops and eating. They're rare creatures like unicorns... I just find trolls sadly.

    • Agreed, I heard a rumor that there is this fantastic place by the name of "Starbucks" that harbors disproportionate numbers of "girlfriends" but I have yet to find such a place. Last time I went on an expedition to find a girlfriend I ended up at 3 places, the mall, Chipotle, and a college campus, but all the girlfriends I found were other peoples girlfriends, none that I could call my own. And still this mythical land of starbucks evaded my discovery. I saw a freaking Panda bear at the zoo before I saw a girlfriend. Who would have thought that it would be easier to find a panda then a girlfriend. 60 years ago if you told someone "I saw this thing called a Panda bear from the mountains of Central China" people would look at you like your crazy, but now its easier to see one of these then get a girlfriend.

  • Were you not handed one when you signed the puberty declaration form?
    You were suppose to be given one, maybe yours is still in the mail.
    Call 1-800-spanks-alot and give them your specifications.

    • So its been lost in the mail for 9 years? Freaking mail men, how do they lose something as important as that. Well that sucks, oh well I'll call them again and leave them a message, thats a lot easier then sacrificing my ball sac in middle earth to a temple of eden.

    • Or maybe it's still at the post waiting to be picked up? Did you move or maybe the door notice fell off and blew away?
      I hope they didn't send it back... the newer models are nowhere near as good as the ones 9 years ago. They are much more sensitive and easily triggered now-a-days. They suck up resources like crazy and don't often produce as much or as good a result.
      It's true... giving up your nutsack would be less painful and trudging through middle earth would be easier to deal with.

      God speed my friend.

    • Why thank you for your input. I'll have my private investigator look into this "missing girlfriend" situation, I certainly dont want the newer models, I want the one I was meant to have 9 years ago. Hopefully I can work this situation out soon, thank you for your advice friend, good luck to you as well. And may the force be with you.