Tinder date: how can I know if he just wants to hook up?

I went on a first date with a guy I met on tinder; he was very quick about getting my number and asking me out (which I had to defer for one week because of my schedule). The first date when very good, though I knew little abot him (most of the conversation was just random banter), the conversation flowed well, he told me about his family, etc. At one point we were talking about Christmas and what our families do, and I can't remember what my comment was, but he touched my knee and leaned over and said "oh so you've been a naughty girl?" a comment which I laughed off and shot down. Twice mroe during the evening he touched my knee, and towards the end of it he grabbed a hold o fmy hands and just looked me in the eye (and I bursted out laughing). As we were walking, he held my hand, asked me if I was cold, and he waited with me for my subway. He gave me a quick hug and said "nice to meet you."
Next day, I get a text; he had seen something on his way to work that we had talked about the night before. So we began having a funny banter, and a few days later he asked me out for this Sunday evening (not a drink this time, though there was no alcohol the first time). Now, he's a disaster with texting. Mostly, I just get one text a day, but that was his baseline behavior from before the date as well.

I didn't feel uncomfortable with his touching my knee, but I do wonder if that 'naughty' comment coupled with tinder's reputation and the fact that he's not communicative during the week (though, frankly, I'm pretty bad too), shoudl all be flags I should keep in mind. Opinions?


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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry hun, but umm, like @gapminder said... you met on Tinder!!! There's a 99% chance that yes, he just wants a hook up. That's what that site is all about... matching people based on the question "would I do you?". Definitely try a different site if that's just not you're thing

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    • Thank you!!! @HopefullSally !!

      And honestly if @asker didn't know this, then clearly she should go elsewhere for "real dating" and not just hooking up. It seems that maybe she really didn't know?

What Guys Said 3

  • The standard assumption is that tinder is primarily for hookups, dating is a secondary use.

    But someone just looking for hookups would probably not call you back after that date.

    What he did is normal first date flirting, if he hadn't done that much, he'd be wondering why none of his dates ever go anywhere.

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  • Well, the third date is known as the second date buttt that's just a guideline. So the question is, do you think you're ready for a third date. I can't answer that, since I'm not you

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    • Sex date* sorry, typing fast on the iPhone

  • Yeah, whatever, just go and fuck. Jeez, what's with all these prude women these days...

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What Girls Said 2

  • You are right to be suspicious. Everything you mentioned makes me think he's looking for fun too.

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  • Ask him what he's looking for

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