Would it be racist to state in my dating profile that I'm only looking for a white guy?

I'm of Asian descent so I get a lot of messages from Asian (and other guys), but I'm only attracted to white guys. If I don't respond to their messages, I often get abused with all sorts of names. If i respond and let them down nicely e. g. "thanks for your interest, but you're not quite my type", they start debating with me, trying to convince me that I'm their type or get frustrated and abuse me.
To avoid all this and so that I dont' mislead others, is it fair to write in my profile description that I'm looking specifically for a white guy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • NO, it's a preference so don't worry about that.

    I understand your reasoning. However I'm not sure if it's going to have the effect you desire. It may filter out some guys but I think most guys will try anyway or maybe not even read it. And the ones that do read it may send you annoying messages anyway but now in a different context.

    Also a white guy reading that might think you only want him because he is white which can ruin your chances. So if you are going to write that down make sure you use the right words.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i've had the exact same problem with men of other races who i tend to not find attractive. i don't rule them out but if i'm not attracted i'm not attracted. since i was 12 i've only been attracted to japanese and korean boys. i am so tired of other races of men trying to tell me how much better they (and their race in general) are as if it's a fact? why do they feel the need to talk bad about the men i like? i've always been attracted to certain facial features and body types and when i see my type i immediately know. it's a matter of preference.

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What Guys Said 28

  • I don't really think it's racist. After all, it's not any different that saying "I prefer tall men," or "I'm attracted to blondes." You can't help what you're attracted to, nor should you try. If nothing else, you're saving yourself, and others, from wasting their time.

    Unfortunately, you'll probably get accused of racism by those very same people that already get shitty, regardless. Some people can pick a fight over anything.

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  • No it wouldn't be racist as plenty of white women put "only message me if you're black on their profiles" and so forth, so if they can do it, why can't you?

    If you only want to date white men that's your decision and if someone has a problem with that then that's not your problem.

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  • That is racist.

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  • Why would you be so scared of looking racist? Why would you care about what they think so much? If they call you racist, block them. You know if you are racist or not. Are you? No? Then you are not, whatever other people say. Don't give them the power to get to you.

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  • Yes, it's technically racist, but when it comes to sexual (or romantic) attraction, I think this is acceptable. It's the same as not liking someone because of the shape of the nose, the sound of the voice, the smell, or a handshake.

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    • no. technical racism is the belief that a person is of an overall lesser value simply because of their ethnicity.
      She never said she finds Asian men to have inherently less worth, as people, then white men. She simply prefers white men, because that is what her personal desires are.

      not wanting to date someone of a race because they do not appeal to you is just as racist and a man not wanting to date another man is homophobic. by which i mean, it isn't, at all.

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    • @EhMaybeLater they are of less value to her based on her personal preferences, but they are not lesser humans in her eyes. there is a world of difference between being devalued as a human being, and being devalued as a potential mate.

    • @ksoma I know that. Her personal preferences don't and shouldn't affect each person's value in the world, but to her, her personal preferences do affect how valuable each person is to her. No, it may not be a noteworthy increase in value (to her) in most cases but there still is still one (for her).

  • no. racism is the belief that one race is inherently superior to others, or inferior to others. You are not expressing a belief that a race has an inherently lower worth. you are expressing your own personal preference.
    there is absolutely nothing racist about finding one thing more attractive than another thing.

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  • Whether its racist or not, plenty of people are going to antagonize you for being racist. But hey, that's life. Just do it if it'll get you what you want, and just deal with what everybody says.

    PS: the only guys that will be offended are the guys who aren't white. And their opinion doesn't matter if you're only dating white guys anyway, am i right?

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  • Who cares what other people think?

    No, it's not racist to say you're only looking for a white guy. If that's your preference, so be it. Most dating sites allow you to pick races for preference.

    That being said? It's not going to eliminate douche bags from contacting you. If you want that to stop happening, you're going to have to delete your account. (i. e. get a man.)

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  • Omgooosh the #AsianPersuasion doesn't work on this one? ,,,,,,, brothers, she has moved on the the dark side... dun dun dun. Haha jk. Do whatever you like. :D

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  • Maybe but as far as racism goes it's pretty minor.
    If you only want to date white guys that's fine.

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  • You like what you like and no it does not mean you are a raciest and anyone who says so is lying. You know what you like and who you're looking for and to not put that on your profile means if a guy isn't who you want to meet then he's having to waste his time responding to your message. If I were responding to you and I'm not who you're looking for then I'm wasting my time and that message would save us both time.

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  • SOME people would say that is racist, but in my opinion it is NOT racist. The fact is you are Asian yourself but you feel more attracted to, and more compatible with, another race. A lot of people scream "racism" at everything.

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  • I see noth

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    • Accidentally hit the submit button.

      I see nothing wrong with that and think it's a good idea. You like what you like. I think you doing that will hopefully weed guys out your not interested in so you don't have to waste your time with them.

  • It is fair to be blunt and state what you want. That's online etiquette... same as if you're selling an item. You list the price and/or what you'd trade for.

    And as a white guy, it is flattering how many Asian girls are so attracted, but it's kinda a shame that means many Asian guys get the shoulder from girls of their own race...

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  • just state in your profile that you are more attracted to white males and would only like to hear from them for now, simple, make life easier on yourself put as much detail into your profile as to what you are looking for,

    I'm white by the way lol

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  • DO what you wanna do, why do you care if people think if you're racist or not... I state often that I like white girls the most, I'm more attracted to them than any other race and I think that is the only race that likes me too so there's that

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  • no, but someone would probably find it racist

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  • Racist or not, it would be more convenient for you I guess.

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  • If you turn down a person for there color of their skin its racist

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  • Why not just filter out nonwhites without making a statement?

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  • I's a dating preference, not racism. It's ok.

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  • stick to ur own kind little Asian bitch

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  • It's not cool to dismiss someone because of something they can't control. Who knows, maybe a black or Asian etc.. Might be your perfect mate, regardless

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  • Well, it's a good thing to write because you won't need to deal with all the guys who don't fit your type. I do have to say, as a white guy, it's a red flag for me when non-white girls want to date white men exclusively. If they think their race is inferior and want me because dating white is dating up it's a status thing and they don't really like me for me.

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  • Feel free to state your preferences. It is helpful to you and them. If they can't realize that, well, screw th... I mean, don't screw them.

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  • Is it racist? No.

    Will someone call you racist for it? Probably.

    These days ANYTHING is racist.

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    • that's racist.

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    • i was making a joke, dipshit.
      you said anything could be racist. i declared that racist. haha. get it? no? never mind...

    • @ksoma Here's a small but important life lesson for you... when you have to explain yourself it means it was a bad joke, dumbass.

  • Nope, date who you want. Asian women are awesome.

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  • Just don't argue back in the first place

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    • Tried that.. I get abused for not replying.

    • But is there not any block features?

What Girls Said 19

  • You're excluding someone based only on their race. How is that *not* racist?

    Like, whatever, do what you want. But at least be honest about what you're doing.

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    • I have friends of all backgrounds so why would it make me a racist?
      In dating, everyone has preferences e. g. based on phenotype, culture, height, personality etc.

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    • I refuse to even consider dating a man. that is flat discrimination based on gender. does that make me a misandrist? or a homophobe?

    • @ksoma Wow that argument went so well for Intraluminal. Why don't you read up and see what happened.

  • Put on the profile "Attracted to white males". You can't help your preferences, but you should communicate clearly from the very start what you want to avoid hurting their egos when they don't get in with you. As long as you aren't talking about how badly you hate the other races or spreading around crap about them, then it isn't racism, just a preference.

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  • This is a hard one,. I went on a date with a half black half Asian guy (Asians are my type) and he said he comes across a lot of profiles saying only looking for tall white guy and he did not like it. I think it will lead people toward a certain impression of you (you can have the type you like) you may get messages commenting on your profile. I would just not say it and when you are contacted either ignore or say thank you for the message but you are not my type. I have gotten that from a guy before. I think posting it gives off a certain message. I am really into Asian guys? Will I date other types? yes, but Asian is my preference no doubt. I do not post that on my profile though. If they debate with you, you can always just not engage and write back.

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  • I mean, you can't help that you have a preference. I'll warn you now, if you put it in your profile that you're looking for a white guy, you'll still get guys messaging you asking why, or trying to convince you you're wrong or calling you racist. They're frustrated you don't like them, but that doesn't make them right, and you have every right to like who you like.

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  • I don't think so. You can't help whom you are attracted to. I was on some dating sites long time ago and got abused too when I stated my preference for the Mediterranean looking men. I don't know, people are being too sensitive these days. Some even called me degrading names or purposely sent me abusive messages just to make me feel bad. Just stick with what you want and don't change because of them.

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  • Eh. This is a tricky one. It just sounds bad factoring in our culture today though it's straight to the point. It's fair to include it in your profile if you are that fixed on your preference, but it does sound bad. Up to you, girl. Just do what's true to you. Your intentions don't seem bad at all.

    Personally, I wouldn't include it and would be polite to the people I wasn't interested in without entertaining the conversation further with them.

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    • Ok then shouldn't refusing to date people based on height be labeled as heightist.

      Racist is a really negative word and I dint think it's right to apply it to something like dating preferences. If she said something like "I don't date black people because they're dumb" then sure that's racist but not being attracted to darker skin tones shouldn't be considered racist.

      I do agree that it's probably not a good idea to list it in her dating profile though.

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    • What I want to know is why is having a preference based on skin color more offensive than a preference based on height or weight.

      Saying you won't date people with dark skin will get you labeled a racist which is woRd with a strong negative connotation.

      The worst that will happen if you say you won't date short or fat people is maybe shallow but that doesn't carry the same negative connotation as racist.

    • @Bandit74 It's more offensive because of historical context and the aftermath of a disgustingly racist history... that's it but it's a big deal. A world can't overcome that so quickly. That's why not liking dark skin is a touchy topic... because a lot of the preference is linked to a racist past and prejudiced present in some countries. Is that fair? No. But neither is the imbalance. There is a disproportional preference for light skin compared to how many light skinned exist on this earth. Luckily, slowly, more diversity is being embraced. Again, it takes time. And it's true, individuals shouldn't have to carry the weight of a history they had no control over when it comes to preference. Back to height & weight: Weight you have control unless you have a medical condition that led to it so it's a bit diff. Height is something the person had no control over but I can't recall when it ever led to mass enslavement, colonization, murder, and segregation. That's why this just gets "shallow"

  • this is the internet. if you serve yourself up on a platter people will attack you it doesn't matter people will find a reason to say mean things on the internet.

    next time a guy goes off on you i suggest you just take a sep back and then respond in your own words something like. i obviously made the right choice turning you down becouse you are obviously a short tempered dirt bag. if you had acceoted it kindly i might have reconsidered.

    put assholes in their place

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  • No, that's not racist. I'm hispanic and I share your preference: I'm attracted to white guys.

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  • Not really but even if a guy that was interested found it racist they'd know that you won't be interested so they won't message you and white guys who see it will be more likely to message you so it serves everyone.

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  • Not sure why it matters, I think the more upfront and honest you are the better in most cases. You will probably still get flamed though from people who read your profile lol

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  • Yes don't do that! Please dont, if you're interested in white males then just go message them. Just block the other guys. You dont have to make a statement like that, how would you feel if you saw an attractive white guy that had a profile saying "No Asians aloud" it would probably hurt and you would feel better if he were to say that you're not his type right? That's just how I see it, I would be hurt in that situation.

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    • And yes preferences do exsist but remember that you are basically saying that all Asian men are unnatractive, I don't care what anyone says if you have an exclusive preference then that's how it's going to come across. A preference is "I prefer white men but I wouldn't mind dating Asian men" I thought this was obvious.

  • If I were you i would not state like that. But take your position when they all comes to you.

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  • Hmm, no it's not racist. That's just what you prefer. I simply don't respond to the guys who aren't attractive to me. If they get rude, I block them. Simple :P

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  • No you're just stating your preference i wouldn't say it was racist.

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  • Just put descriptions of the guy you want without fetishist vibes

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  • The kinds of guys that send abusive messages don't heed profiles, anyway. Like all the guys who ignore age and location preferences. It's kinda freaky putting racial stuff on there, I think.

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  • You're more than entitled to refuse people from certain races. It's just about personal preference. Ignore what other people have to say about it's your choice.. They're just not good at rejections hahah

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  • I never responded to guys on my profiles. Never have I ever been called out for it. Just ignore it and stop being sensitive.

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    • if you never respond to people on your dating profiles, why even have the profiles?

    • I never responded to guys I was not interested in.

  • Well, I only date billionaires. And I have specifically stated that in my dating profile. Does that mean I am a gold digger?

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    • Who have you dated so far?

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