Was this a bad sign (s) within the first few dates or was I being too sensitive?

#1: While on the 2nd date of ice skating I fell a lot and he jokingly said "Well at least you have some cushion to fall on too... it's not a lot though"

(Implying I had a flat ass)

#2: Next we went eating and he tells me how he 'doesn't want to date a girl who's in the STEM field like him.'

(And he knows that we have the same major.)

#3: He says that it's because they'll talk too much about science but 'he's not necessarily looking for a girl with sunglasses & high heels.'

(I assume he meant a high maintenance dolled up chick but ironically enough my profile picture was me in an outfit of hair up, sunglasses, long blouse with a skirt and heels. I didn't look glamorous but definitely not a plain Jane.)

I'm pretty sure we're no longer dating since he hasn't texted me in a week. He's a busy man and we hardly texted much unless I initiate it. I met him through an online dating website and we didn't even text excessively or talk on the phone before meeting. Luckily he wasn't a catfish or crazy/awkward.

On the first date he was nice but seemed to be holding back a little... but on the second he was a little more laid back. Still respectful but he never even tried to kiss me so I wonder if he even wanted to date. Also he NEVER once complimented me except on my nail polish. (I'm pretty sure he's not gay/bi)


Most Helpful Guy

  • he's not man enough to say it at your face. Clearly, he's not interested so he was just making indirect excuses to convey his point. Don't ever text him until he does. Just move on already, you'll get way better guy than him, i am sure.

    • Damn I didn't really realize that he's not into me until now that I wrote out what he said. Thanks for making things clear!

      I still don't get why he went out on a second date if he wasn't interested and wanted to drag it out. I wanted to go home instead of eating.

      I deleted his # last week so I wouldn't cave in and text like I usually do with guys who don't directly rejecte because I seriously can't pick up on indirect hints

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    • hey! you're welcome :)

    • thanks for the mho!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • "doesn't want to date a girl who's in the STEM field like him." Ditch him.

    • Lol yassss!
      Usually guys compliment me on being smart for being in the STEM field soiI never saw it as a bad thing

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    • Honestly since he's belittling you already I would kind of have to wonder at his motives and what kind of quality of help you'd actually be getting.

    • Good point, I'm not gonna find out what his true intentions were. The old me would have brushed off these warning signs


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think he ditched you already OP lmao but yea should had done it after first date

    • I'm glad I didn't try to text or call afterwards! The old me would have chased because I can't take a hint unless it's explicit

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    • He was trying to be funny in an awkward way.
      I'm more of the cute type and he was average. No muscle man but he had the brains so I thought let me stop focusing on looks like I usually do.

      Next time I'm sticking to being shallow 😙💅

    • Haha I mean you kinda are still going for him, Js. Don't wanna sound like socio but yea, I don't know still doe if he was just joking cos believe me if he's dick he won't ever go out on second date with u. Sounds like he was trying to run a game on u or something

What Girls Said 7

  • Some of things he said doesn't add him. Like the second one of him saying he doesn't want to date a girl in the STEM field.. I don't get that at all. I really think you should just be upfront with him and say you feel like you've been getting mixed signals and want to know where he is at. It's better to just know where you stand than to sit around, wait and guess. It's not fair on you.

    • Ya the STEM thing threw me off. I thought the common interest was a good thing to bond over.

      But girl I deleted his # last week so I wouldn't end up chasing him by texting him. It's been a week so if he doesn't contact me then I really know it wasn't meant to be

  • He sounds kind of like a jerk, hinting on things he doesn't like about your looks and dancing around some bullshit reason about having the same field of study somehow being a bad thing, instead of just saying straight forward that there isn't any chemistry.

    What @BellePepper said. Ditch him, he's a doofus.

    • True. I didn't feel that spark but I felt like we could have good conversations

    • What sort of "friend" indirectly insults your bum and implies a scientific field of study is a bad thing?

      He's a spineless prick, you don't need to pollute your life with such garbage.

  • Sounds like he's bringing you down to be manipulative. No bueno so I'd stop talking to him if you know what's good for your self esteem!

  • It's a bad sign, at least he didn't kiss you and break your heart. And you sure as hell didn't sleep with him yay

  • He probably already has someone and just was checking to see if you easy or not. After the 2nd date he probably signal that you were harder to get or something.

    No guy should be insulting you if he's interested

  • He's just not that into you