Is flirting with others while dating right or wrong?

I actually dumped a guy that I had been dating because he had been leaving flirty comments on other girls pictures. At first I convinced myself that I was okay with it because we were just dating but it bothered me so much. He was flirty with girls too and said I didn't have to worry, other than that he was a great guy. I was thinking long term and figured he can't be trusted and even though he wanted to commit at one point I just couldn't because of what he had done. He even slept with another girl while we dated. I felt so guilty leaving him after all he had done for me and because he liked me a lot, he was sad but then got a girlfriend... Now I'm thinking I've must be stupid for leaving him and it still bothers me but I just couldn't stop thinking about what he had done while we dated. Everyone was saying what a great guy he is.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is 'wrong' how wrong depends on how it makes you feel AND if they actually follow through with the flirting to cheating. Since he did cheat on you it seems clear he was and would be willing to take advantage of his flirting to sleep around. Some men do that to feel good about themselves others do it to see if they can get these random women and go after them if it goes well.

    In general a 'good' guy if you want one isn't going to do that, sure as hell isn't going to do it in your face, and wouldn't cheat on you at all.

    The ONLY way his flirting and cheating might be 'okay' is if you bother agreed and talked about being in an 'open' relationship where you both are free to see other people.

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    • It made me feel somewhat cheated on. I thought we had something special? People knew we dated, his friends knew me and then he straight up leaves flirty comments on other girls pictures. He slept with someone else and his friends knew because I overheard it.
      Yes I want a good guy and thought he was one and no I would not be okay with an open relationship ever. Then suddenly he wants to committ but how can I committ to someone who did this no matter how nice he is.

Most Helpful Girl

  • What's he like in real life?

    Some people, in real life, are just... y'know... well, flirty.
    I'd know, I married one of 'em. He just has that charisma thing. He flirts with women from 19 to 99 years old, because he just likes women. Likes them a lot.

    He isn't on social media, but if he was, it would be totally in character for him to leave "flirty" messages for female friends. Like, outrageous messages that would piss off both the girls and their boyfriends IF they came from anyone but him... but that magically don't, because they're from him.
    Eh.

    If it's out of character, though, that's another story.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Its in very bad taste and insensitive

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  • Meh.. Fliting on social media in my opinion is worse. I don't think casual flirting with a waitress is that bad though.. Unless it's a serious relationship. I naturally flirt with everyone lol. My exes knew me as a flirt and it didn't bother them. Would never cheat or pull a number though.

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  • I would consider it cheating personally. And of coarse I would dump them

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  • Well, if you're just dating then that means nothing. If you're in a relationship that's bad.

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  • Depends on the relationship. Does your partner think it's wrong?

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  • Flirting is wrong in a relationship if YOU think it's wrong.

    Can I make a suggestion?

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    • Yes you can.

    • Within the first few dates of the next guy, you talk to him about flirting and cheating and how you feel about it.

      FYI, I think it is, then again, I can't being tell if I'm being flirted with IRL unless she kisses me. Because of this reason, I'd think of a "safe word / phrase" that only the two of us (the girl I would be dating) would know when she thinks another gal is flirting with me.

  • Definitely wrong

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  • it's wrong, he is not a great guy,

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  • i think you made the right choice. why should you invest in ONE guy when obviously he is planting seeds with every other girl out there? and look what happened. he got a girlfriend. i hate to be negative, but move on.

    you will find someone better, where you are his only and he is your only. don't settle for less.

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  • Did you tell him it bothered you and ask him to stop first

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What Girls Said 9

  • Is flirting with others while dating right or wrong?
    Not in my opinion.

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  • It's wrong and childish, especially if he's doing it right in your face which might indicate he wanted to make you jealous. But I think you did the right thing. You need a guy who's going to show you that you are special, not make you feel bad.

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    • I don't think he wanted to make me jealous because he had me for sure. There was no reason to, nothing between us was wrong yet he did it.

  • As long as you don't sleep with anyone else without permission, it's good

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  • If he is blatentely flirting with other girls then yes I think that is wrong especially if he is meant to be dating you. If a guy is really into you why would he jeopardise your relationship whether your official or not. I would dump him too!

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  • Of course it's wrong.

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  • It's wrong. Flirting is basically cheating. You're communicating in a way, you would if your single.

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  • He's clearly a douche, stop feeling sorry for him and go find yourself an actual man.

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  • You shouldn't feel bad, you did the right thing. A bit of flirting is ok, especially if you are just casually dating. But, if things are getting serious, he wants to commit, but then sleeps with someone else... I'm not surprised you were confused!!

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  • Leave that guy alone

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    • What?

    • You said you feel bad for leaving him alone. But he isn't the right guy for you.

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