Girls, if a guy said he wanted you to wait for him to work on his self esteem before dating him what would you think?

He talked to you first, you guys hit it off and hang out all the time. You can tell he obviously likes you a lot. He also seems like a great guy for you. What would you think? He also said you can date others but he really does care about you and hopes you can date when he's not dealing with those issues. He also wants to stay friends and continue hanging out. would you feel like you're wasting your time?


0|0
6

Most Helpful Girl

  • The moment he told me to wait for him but also date others... I wouldn't date that guy. It sounds cruel, but let's be realistic: if someone lacks worth so much that they admit to wanting you, but they can't have you due to their issues, and they want you to find someone else if you can... why would you not just date someone else? If I were the guy in this situation, I would work on myself, I wouldn't announce it to the person I like and then tell them to date someone else. I'd just try to fix the problem and make my move then.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • If they want to work on themselves I'm not going to stop them. It's better than them jumping into the relationship only to break it off because they decide they aren't ready for a relationship because of themselves.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Would you just move on? Or try to help the person?

    • I would be friends with the person because it's better than nothing. And if I liked them then I would wait.

  • My last ex also said "go see other people, I don't want to keep you from being happy" and it was only THE most awful thing I've ever heard. I didn't want any other guy... I wanted him. But he didn't want me. So bottom line I wouldn't settle for anything less than what I think I'm worth and in my opinion if I'm special for a guy he would be too afraid of losing me to encourage me to date other guys.

    0|0
    0|0
    • This is where self esteem is a big issue. I'm sure he thought he wasn't good enough and thought he was doing you a favor. In reality he was probably just afraid of getting hurt. I've had so many girls tell me they just want to be friends even girls I was dating for a couple months. He wanted you he just felt like he was good enough. That's why I'm avoiding dating I don't want to do that to someone.

    • Oh no my ex left me cause he didn't want me. I loved him to the moon and back and would have done anything for him. I've never loved another human being as much as I loved him and he knew it. It just wasn't enough for him and he left me broken hearted without a care in the world.

    • Oh ok that's a very different situation. I'm sorry to hear that. If I would ever say that to someone it would probably be out of fear and lacking of self esteem. Unfortunately when you do things that you think is for the good of others when they want the opposite you usually hurt them. I know I'd probably say the same thing to you but for a very different reason. you are very beautiful and based on your pic you seen like very nice genuine person. Due to lack of self esteem I'd probably have a hard time believing that someone like you could like me and that would lead to me saying that. I would probably believe I'd be doing someone like you a favor but instead hurt whoever it was.

  • I would help him out

    0|1
    0|0
  • If someone else comes along, I'm dust in the wind

    0|1
    0|0
  • Hey. If he says you can date others then he's not showing he cares very much. If she and the friends/family network aren't fulfilling and boosting your self esteem then thats not positive influences in your life either.

    0|0
    0|0
    • If I'm working on my self esteem which may take a while wouldn't asking her to be alone and wait be selfish?

    • Yes it would. Be confident and happy with who you are not what you think other people want and expect. Life will be so different for you when you can smile at who you see in the mirrorx

Loading...