What is considered too uptight when it comes to dating?

I believe flirting with other women and checking them out while you're dating is considered cheating. I believe guys are supposed to make the first move when it comes to approaching a woman. They should pay for the first date and of course worst case scenario, a woman can help pay for the dinner bill. I've never been in a relationship or had sex. I'm 21 by the way. Am I too uptight? People tell me I am.

  • Yes
    49% (18)79% (23)62% (41)Vote
  • No
    51% (19)21% (6)38% (25)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't check out girls consciously, it just fucking happens. If the guy really wanted to be with someone else then why would they even be dating you? I agree that flirting is cheating unless its completely innocent, as in just joking around, but if you're gonna get mad at a guy because they looked at another girl then you have some issues you need to work on.

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    • I was with a girl one time anywhere we went it was like she would be like why you looking at her? You like what you see? We were at a buffet style restaurant and people serve the food, well there were women serving food, so when we got to the table, she asks well did you get their number, cause you was checking her out. Crazy I was ordering my food...

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh god yeah, you're wound up tighter than a toy solider in the hands of a jittery toddler.

    The first part I can see somewhat, but I wouldn't call it cheating, I would call it inappropriate. I mean, given that logic, no woman can even look at a hot actor without cheating. We're just wired to be appealed by attractive people.

    The whole "men make the first move" shit makes no sense to me because there's no law nor unavoidable biological consequence in men NOT making the first move. It's 2016, guys aren't all on board with having you chase you down like you're pray. Also, you're not an item so a man is not obligated to buy your affections with dates. You're a big girl, you can take care of half of the bill. You're not a child.

    Women are not babies that need coddling and need everything done for them: they don't need to helplessly be chased and paid for. Sure if you prefer a guy to initiate but using your gender as your reasoning is a petty excuse that few people buy into anymore. I say lighten up and get with the times at least a little more.

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What Guys Said 9

  • "I believe flirting with other women and checking them out while you're dating is considered cheating." -- This is NOT cheating.

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  • If ya tell the guy this and he's alright with doin it, then fair enough.

    But if ya expect guys to do this without being told, you're gonna be disappointed.

    It's up to you and the person you're with as far as how y'all proceed.

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  • Hah... yeah right. You're the last kind of woman I'd want to date.

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  • If you and the guy haven't agreed to be exclusive then how can he cheat on you?

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  • It is emoional cheating.

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  • very conservative would be a better word.

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  • The problem with you and the tens of millions of women like you is you want all of the privileges of being equal men while maintaining that men remain traditional. It's hypocrisy and more and more men are not tolerating this bullshit and a lot of women are starting to change how they approach dating and it's those women that are fairing significantly better than women like you.

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  • All of these things are essentially true, but guys aren't real good at following rules. Also you make dating sound like a chore. Be ready to have a little fun with it.

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  • Hey wanna know why you've never been in a relationship? Because you live in the fucking 1950's like the rest of these virgin GAGers...

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What Girls Said 5

  • My answer is both yes and no. Wow - you and I are identical! I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship or had sex. And up until 6 months ago, I believed all the same things you just said. However, I've been doing a LOT of reading up on blogs, posts and expert opinions and I've slowly realized I need to start thinking "What is my GOAL in having standards?" Personally, my goal was to "feel" like a rare, prized trophy... which is all well and good, until I realized I was being perceived as stuck-up or closed off. I realized I wasn't comfortable with most things girls seem to be okay with - even afraid... and I'm still uncomfortable and have fears. The most important thing to realize is: Don't idolize men. By making a relationship gender-specific, we categorize them and start having all these fears/expectations we'd probably never have for females or even ourselves. So start by realizing: Men are people. In some ways, we are all just that - people. Then, ask yourself - Why do I feel I need these standards? Am I truly wanting to be wise and protect myself, or is there an I'm-better-than-you attitude? But even having good motives can still make us unreachable. So I would suggest first evaluating WHY you want standards - and if you do, which ones you fully believe in and want to stand for (btw - it's totally okay to have doubts about what you believe in - I know I still do). Then take the non-negotiables and see if maybe there are ways to soften your approach, so men are attracted, not repelled. If you're not sure how to change (I know I haven't been sure), try watching youtube vids or read articles or ask questions. But remember - you're a human & it's totally okay to have doubts or change. Best of luck!! :)

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  • Flirting with other women is cheating, it's giving your sexual attention to another person. However I don't agree that men need to make the first move or should pay for everything. Women need to show interest as well, and the person who initiates the date should pay for it not the man by default.

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  • Not in my book! Just plain jane!

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  • I think girls can make the first move, I agree with everything else you said though

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  • You're not uptight. I'm the same as you.

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