Thinking of inviting my ex over sometime soon? Please help 🙄 Good/bad idea?

Before anyone suggests it, this wouldn't be for sex it would purely be just to chill and maybe talk a little. I'm a virgin anyway.

Lately we have been chatting a little/flirting too. He's always up for flirting with me but he's very guarded with his feelings (naturally) due to us being broken up. We never ended on good terms.

I know people will hit back at me with 'but you broke up' I know that. It was actually my fault we broke up anyway due to fear of commiting/not being ready.

he's 30 and I'm 22, and at his age he does want to settle down (at least, he did). And I mean, he wanted to go steady with me. I guess that scared me a bit and I was always on the fence with him. After a lot of thought though, I really miss him and have my regrets.

His is mum and dad passed away three years ago and he lives with a severely depressed brother (and I mean, very depressed). Family life is pretty broken for him, and I guess I still care about him. Christmas has just passed and he reached out to me that day... and it just made me think of everything.

Its wonder we're actually talking now, he was so, so angry with me when things broke down.

I'm not sure if he'd actually come over or not, but is it worth a try? I really worry about him and still care a lot for him.

  • Worth a try, it's down to you to make the effort
    25% (1)50% (4)42% (5)Vote
  • Don't bother...
    75% (3)38% (3)50% (6)Vote
  • Other...
    0% (0)12% (1)8% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Invite him over and see what happens. I think it's worth a shot and effort to try.

    • Thanks @coolbreeze I appreciate your opinion :) :)

    • Show All
    • Thank you very much for selecting my answer as the most helpful opinion.☺

    • V welcome :) ☺️

Most Helpful Girl

  • well, but what are u expecting from this?

    friends? (if this is the case, try not to give him false hope. b clear that what u want is friendship)

    or getting back together? (because if this is the case, then u need to b sure that u are ready for commitement this time, in order not to hurt him)

    • I'm not exactly sure what I'm expecting to be quite honest? I'm verging more to getting back together, but, I'm not sure if he's verging more towards that or not yet. Also, by inviting him round, I can introduce him to my parents (or, lead up to that anyway) which I think would mean a lot since I kept our whole relationship a secret :/ so I guess inviting him round is me trying to show him that I'm sorry and that I care.

    • Show All
    • Welcome! Not asked him yet :) haha

    • ah

      got it

      well... soon then haha

What Guys Said 2

  • Are you readyt for a committed relationship with him? If not, this is a bad idea, because he might get the wrong idea and you will hurt him once again.

    • I think so? That's why I'm being very wary, I wouldn't enter into a relationship with him if I wasn't ready this time. That would be really selfish and the last thing I honestly want to do again is hurt him :/

  • If your the one that broke it off... and you just want to be just friends... I think your just going to hurt him again in the end. You can't flirt/give him ANY glimmer of HOPE of it being anything more than just friends if you don't want more. He obviously still has feelings for you and will fall for you again, if you do those little things/signs you did when you were a couple. It will only bring back the memories he has and how they felt. It would be more Humane to just kick him in the balls repeatedly, than lead him on.

    • Thanks for your help, but what if, it was him that gave me an ultimatum in the end and actually ended it with me (he had good reason). Does that change the situation? Since he's the one initiating the flirting with me. I'm the one who's getting upset about things because it's reminding me of how things were. I'm flirting back too. But why are we doing this then? Surely he has to want something more if he's flirting with me, no?

    • The break up Sounds like my situation with my ex. with the ultimatum. It's hard to tell his intentions, I'm in the 10% being a romantic/good guy, 90% of the guys I know are the DOGs/Jerks, girls generally think guys are so unless I watched him I couldn't tell. He might be a nice guy... remembering what you had, and if that's true he'd what more. Another part of me thinks (with the age difference) he hasn't been able to find a hook-up and is seeing if he can "Retap and old Keg". My buddy is like that, hooks up with ex's just because girls his age aren't attractive to him.

What Girls Said 2