Do you think sex too soon ruins the relationship?

Like if you have sex after a few dates, does it make your relationship less likely to last?

  • Sex too soon ruins the chances
    55% (63)25% (14)45% (77)Vote
  • It does not.
    45% (52)75% (43)55% (95)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My wife practically jumped me on the dance floor the first time we met.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, I made this mistake with almost every guy i've tried to date except for a select few and I guarantee you, it always ruined things. Nothing ever worked out with a guy I banged too quickly. I'm at the point now where I like this guy and he wants to f*** me but I'm too terrified of being left, so I'm holding out.

    I've actually lost hope that I'll ever find anyone at this stage of my life, so take that as you will.

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    • If you don't put guys will leave you. Quit being a hypocritical baby.

    • @Marinepilot if i put out later and guys still leave me what kind of a position does that put me in? I recently went on a road trip for my 1st date with a guy, had intense chemistry and we ended up together on day three. he never called back after the trip was over. i'm lucky he still responds to my far-flung texts. I don't think I'm being hypocritical when no matter what I do, the guys still leave. Maybe its the dudes I pick, i don't know. I'm just telling her my experience. Sorry if you don't like it.

    • Not all guys will leave you. Sorry for your bad experiences.

What Guys Said 15

  • It depends on the parties involved, but I think that it is important to wait at least long enough that both people involved are on the same page with where the relationship is going. The girl I'm seeing now I had met once before, and then we first slept together on Halloween after my party. Since then, we've been sleeping together a couple times a week, pretty much after every time we see each other. The problem is that, because we started sleeping together immediately, there hasn't really been a conversation about where the relationship is going. If your intent is to date, you should do that before you have sex to make sure it is clear that is your intention is to have a real relationship, and not just have a casual sex thing.

    The other obvious consideration is the intent of the guy involved. If all he wants is to sleep with you, the longer you make him wait, the more likely he is to move on to an "easier" target. This isn't going to make someone who doesn't want a relationship suddenly want one, but will lessen your chance of getting used.

    Basically, I think as long as you wait until you have a mutual understanding of what you want out of the relationship and know each other well enough to trust the other persons intentions, I think that is more important than any number of dates or months to wait

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  • I varies from situation to situation.

    I know girls often have higher standards on looks when it comes to casual sex so if a girl wanted to sleep with me right away that would imply that she's REALLY attracted to me and that I turn her on more than the guys who she would wait a month to have sex with. I think that's a good thing. To me the worst would be if a girl slept with her previous partners right away but only wanted to wait with me 😔

    Do guys sometimes lose interest if a girl sleeps with them too quickly?

    Yeah sometimes but in the case where a guy is turned off, he's NOT turned off that you were easy for HIM, he's turned off by the assumption he makes.

    he's thrilled that you were excited to sleep with him right away, but then a thought hits him "gee if she was easy for me, that must mean SHE WAS EASY TO GET FOR LOTS OF OTHER GUYS TOO" and that's what turns guys off, what I wrote in all caps.

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  • My decade-plus relationship? Within the first three dates.

    My current almost a year relationship? Second date.

    All the girls I dated online where there was much beyond a first or maybe second date? By the second or third date.

    I think the real lesson is to not give it up to someone you don't feel a really strong spark with. If it's a good connection, go for it.

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  • It depends me and my wife had sex the before we officially started going out (she was coming out of a tough relationship) but we been talking and I'd been courting her for a while and it happened and we lasted.

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  • Boy are beating this horse to death. Although I did start it with My Take. I know
    that sex too soon or what is perceived as too soon doesn't ruin a relationship. If it takes too long, you don't have a relationship.

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  • A lot of people seem to feel that way. For me on the contrary, the only girlfriends I ever had started as one night stands.

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  • It actually doesn't.

    It'll speed up relationships that will inevitably end anyway.

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  • Only if you build the relationship around sex

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  • Depends on the people, is this all theyre looking for? Do they want a relationship? Are they just about sex?

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  • It is not the sex, but the negative thinking that some people take from it.

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  • Sooner the better

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  • It depends on the nature of the relationship

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  • Having sex really late or never having sex at all will definitely ruin a relationship.

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  • I think so. I definitely like a challenge. The reward after enduring a long suffering is worth it all, but don't make it too long. A few dates is too soon in my opinion.

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  • It might.

    Not soon enough can also cause the same problem.

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What Girls Said 17

  • It really depends on the individual's attention you are gaining interest in.

    If the guy likes a chase, and is looking for a woman that's a challenge, someone that gives it up too soon will be a turn off to him. He will also think, "How many others guy did she do this with?" He will gain a negative view on you.

    On the other hand,

    A guy that doesn't judge people according to how quickly they put on, will not mind this. He will just enjoy the experience, and pursue you if you strike his interest.

    You have to know what guy you are dealing with.
    To stay on the safe side, I would definitely wait a little while before I put out.

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  • Yes, I do believe that in most cases, sex too early will ruin the relationship. Often times, having sex early will cause someone's main focus to be eagerly exploring someone's sexual side and less of their mind and spirit. Sex can easily distract people from solidifying a truly special, intense emotional and mental bond. Many women develop a habit of using sex to bond with a man and make herself appear highly desirable with sex while being completely unrealistic to the fact that sex is the most replaceable thing in the world. It's not some superpower that will win her a guy's heart. A lot of guys find themselves becoming bored with women after they have sex and some of them may respect her less.

    Long lasting relationships tend to develop when the mind, heart, and soul is thoroughly explored first then sex comes later. Plus it adds this certain intensity to the sex because intrigue and delectable ideas have had time to build up.

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  • I'm horny, relentless and impatient. To me, if there is no sex, then there is no relationship.

    When my husband and I met for the first time, we got straight into a cab, got a hotel, and that man was inside me. Not just inside my body.

    Why wait?

    14 years of marriage, 3 kids, hotter than ever.

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  • No, it doesn't. The only way sex will ruin a relationship is if one person was only after sex, and disappeared once they got it. And in that case, there was never a relationship to begin with.
    I had sex with my boyfriend on our second date, because we couldn't keep our hands off each other. In my opinion, that kind of chemistry can only be a good thing.
    Several months later, we're very happy and our relationship is amazing.

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  • For me personally it does! But I dunno! It just depends on who it is!

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  • I don't think so..

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  • I don't think so. My boyfriend and I began as a one night stand and we're more than happy together.

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  • Yes, to a degree I do.

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  • I'd say that if you're really meant for each other then it won't hurt. It's when you're not meant for each other that it'll kill the relationship.

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  • I don't think so. Usually other things ruin relationships.

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  • I'm in the same predicament. I lost my virginity at 23. I just turned 24, and I've slept with a lot of guys. Have of them never called me back after. Tired of screwing guys I decided to hold out. A few guys even stopped talking to me after I told them sex was out of the plan. I think I'm gonna be single and let something happen.

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  • I slept with my partner the first time we met and we are now engaged

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  • In my experience, it can make things more difficult. Both my partner and I weren't accustomed to having sex the way the other liked it. So, we really didn't click in the beginning. And sexual chemistry is important to both of us, so we were worried we just weren't attracted to each other and would never be. But as we got to know each other, it got better because we cared about each other more and communicated more.
    Once we got on a similar wavelength, it's been heavenly since then.
    And a friend had sex on the first date, and they dated for almost a year.

    And for a lot of people, the intense chemistry is there day 1. And that can speed things up-bonding, comfort, etc.
    But for others it can make the relationship all about sex.
    And for others, they stay for a while because they don't want others to think they are promiscuous.

    It REALLY depends on the people.

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  • Along as it's not the only thing keeping the relationship together. Being physical together shouldn't hurt your relationship.

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  • Yep, I am definitely an expert on getting pumped and dumped so I think it does ruin it

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  • my boyfriend and i have been together as boyfriend and girlfriend for a month as of today and we are waiting until nye. its delicious torture :P

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    • That's only three days. But it's three more than I would have waited.

    • @Marinepilot its been 2 months since we started seeing each other so its long over due haha were both dying

  • It really depends on the connection between the two people. Personally I don't believe in sleeping with someone I'm dating because the guy will lose his respect for you (that's what I've heard) and it is sort of a hunting thing. Get to know him, make him work and make him develop feelings for you before you sleep with him. I have a friend who slept with the guy right away but they've been in a relationship for two years while she once slept with another guy right away and he left her after a month. It was easy for him, he didn't have to work so "on to the next target." But I bet he was just looking for one thing, there are different types of people out there. To me sex is a way of showing love and it's intimate. Not something you give away after a few dates.

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