Am I overreacting? What should I do?

First of all, he's 21 and I'm 20. We've been dating for 5 months, are not exlusive yet but we've agreed that we are not seeing other people. Our connection is perfect and we've never had a fight. But something happened a few days ago which i can't get out of my mind. A little backstory, last week I gave him a painting of him and a personal letter for Christmas. He loved it to tears and told me he has never got such a sentimental gift from someone else, since he has always got these expensive material gifts. He told me he felt so bad cause he didn't get me anything for Christmas.. Anyway, he also showed the gift to his parents and they told him they would really like to finally meet me, so they asked him to invite me to his step-dad's birthday which is next week. It should be a fancy dinner at a restaurant. He's from a very wealthy family and I'm not. We both go to uni, he doesn't work and gets all the money from his parents, all his time goes to guitar playing and band rehealsals. I work and pay all the bills and everything from my own. He drives a fancy car, I use public transport. He lives in a big apartment on his own, I rent a small apartment with two other people. See the difference here? Also, when we go out to eat, he has never offered to pay for me, but I guess it's okay? But he has never bragged about "his" money and is a really down-to-earth and caring person, that's why I'm with him. His parents, especially his step-dad has always been very strict with him. My boyfriend told me once that since he was little, his step-dad would not allow him to get up from the table until he had eaten everything from the plate - even if he hated the food, he just had to eat it. So yesterday we went to a very fancy restaurant and the menu had only like 6 meals and I knew I wouldn't eat anything since I'm quite picky at food. I don't want to pay 20€ for something I don't eat, so I asked him if we could go to some other place. He snapped: "Well whatever, pick some other place then."

Continues... I picked another place and as we were driving with his car I said I was sorry about being so picky and he went "I'm just not sure about what you'll do at my step-dad's birthday. You can't say at the family gathering that you don't like the food. You should learn how to behave. That was very rude of you." I told him: "But this place where we just went, we picked it out on our own and of course I wouldn't say anything like this in front of your family."
At that point I could feel how my eyes suddenly got teary, 'cause his words trully hurt me. I have never cried in front of him. So I told him through tears that I'm not in the mood to go to eat anymore. All the way home (his place) he told me how sorry he was about what he said to me and that he wants to be with me and how he thinks that his step-dad's behaviour has probably influenced him. So we decided to get something to eat from a local cafe and we didn't talk at all!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should just continue being you and not worry what his family think, especially with something as trivial as the food you eat and don't eat. He's probably used to eating anything he's given because that's what lots of parents do and is normal for people to do this to their children, but that's just for children really to get them to eat and start liking more food. It's not rude that you don't like some food, he can't dictate that with you.

    I think in terms of him not offering to pay for things, that's probably either him not thinking about paying for you, not sure if your worth wasting money on (as in not waste money on a date to find out she isn't someone they are interested in) and even just wary about the money he spends. There are loads of reasons why he won't offer to pay, but don't let that put you off.

    Anyway, if you need anymore advice just ask.
    Hope this helps.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he was rude to tell you that you need to learn how to behave your a human not a dog anyhow he did apologize so I would forgive but if he speaks to you like that again I suggest you give him a piece of your mind.


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What Guys Said 2

  • That just sounds like he was raised that way. He is still young enough to spout back anything his parents taught him on instinct. So I doubt it was meant as a personal attack on you, just ingrained teachings.

  • Well, I Dk about you but, my dads pretty down to earth and caring but, they both work. He makes more than her (traditionally) but, they both work. It's up to you if you want to put up with that type of shit


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