Do long distance relationships work?

And by long I mean almost as long distance as possible. She is from Australia and I am from New York, opposite sides of the world. I love this girl to death, no woman has ever made me feel this way I have never fell in love with a girls pure personality before until I met this girl, she could be the ugliest woman in the world but I would still love her because I enjoy being around her so much. We will probably be able to see each other only once a year, maybe twice but I desperately just want to be with her, whatever it takes.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Awesome question - I'm wondering the same thing! We've all heard so many opinions about LDRs, that we can feel so confused/doubtful about it being a success. by the way - huge congrats on you two having such an incredible connection!! - that's really exciting! A month ago, I started my first LDR - and it's been very, very strange (in a good way) and kinda scary. I think personally, I need to stay connected - not in a needy way (though especially with LDR, that's easy to do!), but actually letting my brain realize that person on the other end is real! lol :) Something very important that I've been realizing is: if you're not sure, do NOT assume! I've had some panic moments, wondering what things could mean. But then he'll say something that makes me realize how false my assumptions were. In an LDR, we HAVE to just accept that there will be a level of trust, much sooner than for non-LDR daters. Oh - and I know a ton of people put pressure on flying to see each other. Yes - this is ABSOLUTELY important (ha! - as if we weren't already DYING to see them lol), but we have to be accepting of our budget. Just try to keep change and love in the relationship - this will be your fire. :) Anyway - I wish you the best of luck!! And have a blast!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A long distance relationship can only be temporary. Sooner or later it must be in person. If you don't have any realistic plans for getting together permanently in person, then no it can't work.

    The key word here is realistic. There are a lot of obstacles to overcome. High costs to meet in person a few times (a bare minimum of 2.5K each time you meet, probably more). Much higher costs to move permanently. You have to deal with passports and visas. There's no guarantee on a visa, resident visas are not given away like candy. You have to deal with jobs. You have to deal with one of you leaving your family behind, and maybe not seeing them for years at a time, and potentially never seeing them again. Not just leaving their family, but also leaving their homeland.

    Last but not least, if you meet in person they might not be at all what you imagined them to be. There are tons of little things about people that can make or break a relationship. Many of those things can only be discovered in person. One reason why it's so easy to fall in love online is because you only see a part of them, and fill in the blanks with the rest.

    That's a lot of negatives. Yes it can work and does work a lot of times. But more often it doesn't. If you are being realistic, and can make good solid plans for the near future, then go for it. If your plans aren't realistic, or it keeps getting delayed, then it's time to take a very serous look at whether it can really work out or not.

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What Girls Said 43

  • It isn't impossible to make them work, but they are more challenging. A lot more effort needs to be put into a long -distance relationship, and sacrifices need to be made by both people in order for the relationship to survive.

    One of the downsides of a long-. distance relationship is that they generally cause trust issues and insecurities. So you have to be an emotionally strong person.

    Love isn't measured by distance so if two people genuinely want to be together they'll find a way to cross ocean's and climb mountains so they can finally be together 💗💕

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    • So so true. Even couples who have short "long distance" (i. e. living more then 20 miles away) relationships have trouble.

  • Yes, it works. I know because I was in one. No one believed we would make it because it was long distance but it worked. Skype and constantly emailing each other. One Skype a day, I did it during my lunch and he did it when he was about to sleep. 3 to 5 emails a day. Long detailed emails of your feelings for them, what you think of them, what

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  • I'm from Australia.

    He's from England.

    We decided to do long distance, after only a month together.

    We Skyped every night for three hours, talking about life, love, anything that takes our fancy.

    We did LDR for two months, then I went overseas to be with him for a month. Now I'm back in Australia. Back to LDR. Won't see him for another three months.

    But if there is no one else in the world you want to be with, what is a year, or ten if you get to be with them for the rest of your life?

    When you're never physically together, you only have words and promises to be together... and if you're meant to be, that's all that you need.

    Next year, we will try and get our de-facto relationship/marriage Visa so he can live with me in Sydney. What is distance when it's compared with true love? Nothing.

    Best of luck.

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  • aw this is really cute =]
    look, if she makes u feel that way, and u just think it's right, then hold onto that. give it a go. there's so much uncertainty in long distance, and while that is indeed a very long distance, maybe it wouldn't become a problem with the love u two share. as long as u both have the goal to meet, then that's good.

    best of luck to u both. x

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  • It's really hard especially with that amount of distance, there's always a chance of it working and that depends on how often you see each other, how often you communicate with each other, seeing as you're in new york and she in aus there's a huge time difference, but you can try to make it work.

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  • They can just most people are to lazy to give it their all. So it's not for the faint of heart.

    I've been in a LDR with this guy for over 3 years about to be 4 now. He's from Europe and I'm from the USA. We do plan to meet up once we can make sure that no matter what. The plan of it wouldn't fall apart at all.

    I wrote a take a while back about it some what.www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10637-survival-guide-tips-on-a-long-distance-relationship

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  • Mine might not be the best advice because I was young, but they can work. I was 16 at the time and he was 18. 6 months into our relationship he moved to Texas from California. Yes, it's not across the country but distance was still a huge factor. We dated for another year after that until he cheated. That's what it comes down to: trust. You can love the person all you want but you HAVE to have trust. I think you both have to be fully invested in each other to the point where eventually, it'll go somewhere. Meaning you move there or she moves where you are. Long distance at this point in time means nothing if you're just going to "date". Work towards something with her and make sure you make it a point to see each other in person, even if it means once a year. You obviously love this girl. Just have trust, stay fully invested and committed in each other and it'll all work out in the end, I'm sure.

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  • go for it

    I am dating a guy in Morocco (I am from Portugal). We have been together for almost 2 years but haven't been able to meet in person yet. Still I wouldn't trade it for anything, since I know what you are talking about when you say no one has ever made you feel like this before. He does that same thing for me :)

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  • If you like her this much, and she feels the same, I think you at least have a pretty good chance of making it work.

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  • I do believe in that. Many people met that way and even married. There are plenty of examples on YouTube.
    Like this one:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bDQcmQHA-Y

    I'm in a LDR too. We've been together for 6 years (so far) and he's planing to see me. He's from The US, I'm from Europe. Just the thought of that day makes me feel both excited and nervous because I'm a shy girl in general :D

    I wish you the best!

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  • I;m in the same situation as you! He lives in New York and I live in Paris! I hope it works but I'm not sure, it's cool that you asked this question. I feel the same towards him in terms of enjoying talking to them...

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  • Not unless both of you are highly committed, and have plans to move near each other again.

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  • I think they don't last because although your love might be real, there is no physical interaction which is needed.

    It's very difficult long distance especially when no one is planning on seeing the person in the physical. Otherwise it's like being in a relationship with inanimate objects that make you feel good,

    It's not like you're being deployed and you will come back.

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  • The chance are low, very low specially with that distance.
    I think they can work if u were together before, because there is no way to know you are truly falling for someone you've never seen, not because of the looks, is because is hard to tell a person's real personality while u talk online, u think about what u are going to say, so is hard to not be nice.
    Thing is, where is this situation gonna go? I mean what would be your plan? i think that if u try it, it can work for a while, but what are the goals for the future? Is a future together a possibility? Would u move? There's a lot of things u need to consider if u want a serious relationship with someone that lives that far

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  • No they dont work, all this that technology has set us closer is not real. Its not the same having a guy 15272751 miles away than having one closer all the time.

    If you are really interested in this girl or she is interested in you, you should be together if in fact both of you are really considering a serious relationship

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  • Yes if you fight for her!

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    • hey! tell me one thing... what's this apple queen about? and what's this # link on the toolbar above?

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    • you're making me furious, you know that? why? why would you do that? okay, I will ask the gag community. :P

    • @solivagant haha!

  • Seeing her once or twice a year, the odds are stacked against you. Does she know how you feel? Has she told you?

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  • In my experience it only works if you actually have plans set to move near to each other.

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  • Call catfish. Meet her face to face first. You can't love her. You love the idea of her. You don't even know her. You are in two separate countries. How will that work, realistically? This isn't a movie. This is real life. If you would rather carry on a relationship with someone you can't see, taste or touch, then go ahead but that's not a real relationship. Do either of u plan on relocating. The travel from ny to Australia is quite expensive. Do you have the means? I mean...

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  • Nope, tried and failed but then again, he wasn't willing to work at it so maybe it's just both sides need to want the same outcome.

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  • Yes they work if both of you put everything into the relationship

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  • Long distance relationships rarely work, but since you love her that much, you should try to go and visit her in Australia.

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  • rarely.. they need a lot of work and patience.. A LOT..

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  • How you going to maintain a relationship with her if you have to love her to death? Sounds like you don't think it's gonna work out.

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    • It can work out because all you got are words to keep up with. It's like writing a long romantic novel.

  • It depends on whether you try to make it work. If you truly love her, make sure she knows and that you know how much she loves and cares for you. Reassuring each other on how you care for each other makes th relationship last longer no matter what the circumstances

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  • Most of the time they don't

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  • I don't think it works, because of the distance, it's very hard to continue loving someone when he's so far from u.

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  • if it's only meant for friendship.

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  • well for me it can work cuz then once u have the most loyal and loving person ever anything can work cause u both got love and u can get through anything

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  • wow i think you do love her really, your LDR will work ! and i believe you will make it work no metter what

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What Guys Said 31

  • There's some LDRing going on in Gag so you'll have plenty of favorable and over-optimistic responses on Gag I assume.

    However, based on what I've seen, I think the odds are very, very low.

    I mean the cold hard truth in my opinion is anyone somewhat attractive and decently outgoing is out there dating in the real world usually, so a LDR just isn't realistic for most. It lacks the physical presence, intimacy, close communication that is fundamental in a relationship in my opinion.

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  • I think they can only work if you have either already met before or are absolutely certain you would be meeting soon. If neither of those are true, then it's just a friend you're perhaps flirting with online but not a relationship.

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  • Have you ever before been in a serious relationship? Have you met this lady yet? What kind of future do you see with her?

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  • Yes they do i was in one and it worked out real well. You have to put in a lot of work though not just a phone call or text here and there, its a long story but I worked super hard to keep it going.

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  • They can work, but you both have to be committed. You need to both trust each other, and talk about any doubts or worries you may have. As for meating up, meet up as frequent as you can and just enjoy spending time with them and make the most of the time you have together. When you're not together in person text and call or Skype whatever you use as much as you can so you don't feel apart from them. There are many things you can do when not together like both watching a film at the same time, or play silly little games.

    It'll be hard , but you'll get out what you put in really.

    Hope that helped.

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  • As someone who's been in one I can tell you, yes they do. But you have to make some sacrifices and you must spend time and money on trips to visit eachother. As well as having an end date. Where you will eventually be in the same city. Facetime is a life saver. So is knowing how to send sexy texts to eachother. Make phone calls often. Send her pictures at random times to share moments of your life. Include her as if she were there

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  • Sure it might work out however she is dating other guys besides you.

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  • They can work yes but they require a lot of commitment and communication. I was in one for two months and it was amazing but the problem with them is that when they go wrong you feel like you have absolutely no one and you'll get really really sad, I'm still in that phase but hoping to get out of it soon.

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  • It doesn't work dude, i am about to get off one. It was terrible, the lack fo sex, intimacy, how difficult it was for me to send her a gift (she lives in another country), the trust issues, it was bad. She was a great girl, but the distance really put a told on her and actually i decided to brake up with her.

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  • maybe but only for so long you need to have good communication and a deep emotional understanding of her feelings. If you can raise the money try to meet her in real life you can't really bond well without some type of pheremones from being close to people who you have a passion for.

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  • In my experience so far, it works really good! And once you have done your time away from each other (when the long distance relationship ends and you heven't broken up and are back together and close to each other), there is not much that can separate you.

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  • It's very difficult. I did Australia to Europe.

    It requires complete and utter trust in each other.

    Make sure you make plenty of time to contact, and remember if one of you doesn't plan to move at some point, save yourself the heartache and let it go.

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  • Nothing works until we make them work 👍

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  • It's so rare LDR's work out mine work out but its generally doesn't work out.

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  • I can work but you need to put a lot of effort into the relationship. Video chatting frequently, messaging every day, phone calls, maybe sending things to each other is the best way to feel connected.

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  • I wouldn't rule it out...

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  • No idea. I doubt it, though.

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  • put in the time and effort.. maybe it can work.. I been in 6.. all failed..

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  • I did England to Taiwan, didn't work out in my opinion. My advice would simply be stay heavily in touch - don't let contact slip. Plan to move eventually of course, but in the mean time just keep contact frequent over Skype, Facebook, it doesn't matter what.

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  • I am not sure, but you should definitely give it a shot... the key is to try to see each other as much as possible... once a year won't do... at least once in every two months is still acceptable

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  • In my opinion not if both parties are not equally committed to each other

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  • No most of the time they do not.

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  • nope. definitely not if it stays long d

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  • If you're dedicated. You've gotta find that love fast, but it can work.

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  • From the military side, it's not easy. I've seen a couple of those relationships go through some pretty harsh things.

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  • It really just depend on the person

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  • no they don't work. that's why one usually moves to the other...

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  • nope, i don't think so, but if both of you put lots of effort into it, then maybe your relationship can work

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  • gotta agree with tallas288

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  • I have the same problem dude. she's from America. I'm from Australia. to have no one love me in a decade. then to finally find someone who truly does. it's heartbreaking.
    when we love each very much. I haven't felt this way in a long time. if I could I would drop everything just to be with her

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