I'm dating a 24 y/o and my parents don't approve. They haven't even met him. I can honestly say that I have never lied to my parents about anything before. I have always done whatever they asked even if it was unfair. I feel so bad for going behind their backs, but I really like my boyfriend.. He makes me happy. I have been a puppetdoll for my parents for my teen years. I have done things for their happiness, and put my feelings aside as if it was nothing. I always told myself that when I turned 18.. my life will stop being theirs, and it'll become mine. I love my parents, but I have to love myself too, enough to do what makes me happy. I agree that adults should abide by their parents rules as long as they live in their parents household. I'll always respect my parents, clean up the hour, come home at curfew, whatever they want. But I think parents who try to interfere with their adult children's love lives... like telling them who not to date is a bit controlling. I know the age difference sounds bad, but he really is a special guy. Am I wrong?
To those who doesn't understand the concept of why I chose to keep this from my parents and think Its "irresponsible." I ONLY do it to keep the peace. I don't want to have a bad relationship with my parents, but I also want to be happy myself. That's the reason why I gave so much background info... to make that clear, and its part of my conflict.
My mom has not ever wanted me to date. At some point outright right rebellion with force is necessary. This is how respect is earned! Following your parents rules is required if you live in their house is mandatory. However, not having your own life like dating is not part of the rules category. Your parents can either support you dating him, or lose you because there is no middle ground!
No, you are not wrong at all and it's good you realize that you are an adult and that you have a life of your own too and yes you have full rights to lead the kind of life you want to lead. Hence you are an adult so you can go meet your boyfriend with or without your parents approval, if you believe you are doing the right thing then so be it. The choice is yours.
Yes, you're wrong, not bcoz it's their rules but for you're secretly seeing your boyfriend. You don't have to fight your parents, rather you've to convince them. They are you parents, you should know how to convince them. And they would understand if you'll make them, they wouldn't want to see you unhappy. Happy New year!!
You don't have to tell yojr parents because it's none of their business. It's YOUR life. Asking for curfew and deciding who you can go out with in your adult life is ridiculous and you should remind them that one day, roles will be reversed and you will be the one taking care of them. So they should make it easy on themselves because your resentment could be their hell.
Age can be an issue when you are younger (i. e. he's 18 and you're 12). However, now that you are 18, presumably you've got some smarts on you and can make good decisions on your own... not be pressured by someone older than you to do something you don't want to do, etc. So age starts to become irrelevant the older you get. When you are 24, he'll be 30, and the age gap will be even less relevant. For what it's worth, my parents are 12 years apart.
Unless your parents still live in the dark ages, meeting someone online is not a big deal as it once was (I met my wife online back in 1999 - it was a bigger deal back then).
Assuming you've also met this person face to face and been out with him a bunch of times, you've probably got to know him as a person. If you like what you are seeing in person, then you have every right to be happy with your choice of guy and you should have no shame about dating him.
Back to my parents being 12 years apart, my mom's parents' biggest beef with my dad was that he wasn't Mennonite. But the more he came around and visited with my grandparents, the more they came to know and love him. By the time my grandparents died, my dad was managing their finances and taxes.
Have fun dating the guy that you know in your heart is the right guy for you. Introduce him to your parents. It's a lot harder for them to be anxious and angry with you when they can see for themselves that he is a mature, well behaved, and all-around great guy.
As you say you're 18 and should be able to make your own decisions on who you date. Sooner or later your parents will find out. You should go ahead and let them know you're dating the guy and sooner or later your parents will probably come around. Is there any particular reason they wouldn't want you dating the particular guy you're talking about?
Why do your parents not approve? Maybe have them meet him. Why did you lie to your parents? It seems you are still a little bit immature if you need to lie to your parents. Immaturity knows no age. Since you are 18, you are legally an adult. However, I would definitely listen to your parents and find sense in their concerns.
"I agree that adults should abide by their parents rules as long as they live in their parents household." You are doing this because you want what you want and you won't let your parents interfere in this.
The votes are overwhelmingly in favor of what you are doing, but if you broke it down by age, you would find that the favorable votes are from younger people who are still resolving their own conflicts with their parents. If you want to make adult decisions, take on adult responsibilities. . . like supporting yourself.
You're totally right, I'm 16 and I secretly dated my 19 year old boyfriend until we couldn't really keep it in anymore.. and when I told my parents (who I thought would kill me.. and him) I was completely wrong. They agreed to meet him and we all get along just fine, it really felt a lot better to get it all out in the open. Also, a point I would bring up is "Would you rather me be dating a guy my age who doesn't respect me, or an older guy who is good to me?" Another thing is our relationship grew a lot after we told because my family now has a relationship with him too.
You are both wrong and you are irresponsible. You are behaving like a child not an adult.
This is going to blow up in your face. Your parents are going to be more upset when they find out later that you are still dating him. You should have convinced your parents to meet him instead. That way you could have proved that he is a good guy. It's unlikely that they'll ever except him now.
Wow - you and I are in the EXACT same situation. I'm 21, have a parent who means well, but is very controlling and hypervigilant, and I'm dating an amazing guy... but I haven't told them and don't know when I will. I feel similar to who you are and what your childhood must've been like. From my point of view, my parent is needy and doesn't believe I should date - otherwise, I'm betraying them. Is this similar to yours?
You are right in that you are an adult but even as young adults there are still things we do not know and it is important to realize that asking for your parent's help is okay. Be aware of all the things that could go wrong and just know that your parents only want what is best for you. I would suggest sitting them down when everything is calm and maturely explain to them that you have always followed their rules and you want them to respect your decisions as an adult. Tell them that you would like them to meet the guy who makes you happy. Tell them you want them to be involved in your life. It might make it easier :)
You're both wrong and right if you ask me. It's alright to date him because you are of legal age, but won't it give them the shock of their lives when you come home one day saying mom dad meet your son in law! You could introduce him to them slowly? Like drop hints and all. Like saying you have someone you like, asking them how they met and all... （＾_＾）
i assume you are the eldest in your family? that's why your parent is over protective, they're still treat you like a kid, just like mine.. it takes quite years to make them understand I'm grown up and made my decision