Rude or not Rude?

This is a side-step so to speak of a question I asked earlier. Me and my boyfriend both live with our parents, I didn't feel like going out for NYE because I didn't want to drink or deal with drunk people, plus my boyfriend caught a cold. I went and picked up my boyfriend who at the time didn't seem tired or sick really. When I got back to my house around 9ish, he ended up passing out on my couch and literally slept up until midnight where he finally woke up to watch the ball drop and watched a bit of tv with us. Then he went into my room and passed back out. I personally feel like it's really rude to come over to someone's house and sleep the entire time, especially since it was a kind of big holiday and I wanted to spend time with him.

We ended up getting in a fight about it. He says I don't understand since he works and has to be up early and since I'm not working right now I get to sleep in whenever and "don't get it" even though he was off work since 2pm and had plenty of time to sleep after work. He also called me childish and immature for getting mad at him for sleeping. Am I the only one that see's a problem with him having slept the entire time?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes it is a little rude but when you are tired, you will sleep before going to work. Trust me on the tired thing. I had once been operating on a 16h work mode for a week or so. When I got home, I was tired, hungry and in serious need of a shower. I managed to sleep on the door mat for 2 hours before I could wake up and do something else.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yep, you're definitely the problem.

    You started off the new year with a fight over insignificant bullshit. Congratulations.

    According to you, your need for his attention overrides his natural physical response to exhaustion. How DARE he allow his body to do that! The nerve, I say!

    Just because he didn't look tired to you at the time, doesn't mean he wasn't. A sudden onset of fatigue is nothing new if you comprehend the fact that human bodies are ORGANIC and can sometimes be unpredictable.

    You knew he had a cold, so when he crashed, it shouldn't have rustled your jimmies so much. People fall asleep when they're TIRED, which is obviously what he was and he directly TOLD you that, but you decided to get your panties in a twist and call him rude over something he had no control over.

    He's right, if you're not working, how can you understand when you get to sleep in all the time? So what if he finished at 2pm? I winish work around the same time, but I have to be up at 5 am, so get tired and sleepy quite early in the evening.

    In conclusion, yes - you are childish and immature. Way to ruin the start of a new year for him by bitching about something so incredibly trite.

    • I wish I had more than one upvote to give.

    • Show All
    • Ah, so you weren't actually asking for people's opinions, you just wanted everyone to parrot your own opinion back to you. Good to know.

      "when you continually try to wake someone after they have been asleep for awhile and then keep falling back asleep, that is also rude"

      Lmao, so you think that when a person continually falls asleep after being woken up multiple times, it's *GASP* SO RUDE and has nothing to do with exhaustion.😂

      He BECAME tired and his body switched off. It happens. It happened to me, it's happened to my boyfriend, it happened to my guests. I don't shit myself over it because I actually have consideration other for people and if they suddenly get really tired early on at a party, I offer them a bed, not bitch at them for being human.

    • Raging bitch?

      Sorry, but I couldn't even dream of competing for that title with you, lmao.

What Guys Said 5

  • From what you're saying, it seems like you're a bit 'safe' and wanted the evening to conform to what you had in mind, ie perhaps a bit inflexible? In my experience, there's always a danger in plumping for safety in general.

    As for him, it does seem daft to even waste your time going to visit someone if you don't have the energy to give a reasonable showing: I think, as you say, it doesn't come across well. If he was really exhausted, he should have stuck with his guns and stayed at home (Would you have permitted that?). If he reported beforehand that he really wasn't able to give much in terms of company or energy, I think you should have accepted that. You may have a boyfriend, but there are also times when you need to learn how to be alone.

    As the other people have said, there doesn't seem to be a whole load of affection, understanding or concern for his well-being throughout. Just a bit of sensitivity and communication from both parties: Always good.

    • I mean yeah I would have been bummed if he said he was too tired to come over but I would have accepted it and probably gone and seen some of my friends. I told him I would rather he just stayed home if he was that tired, and he honesty didn't mention anything about being tired.

      Honestly everytime he comes over he just passes out and of all nights I really wanted us to have some quality time together when he isn't tired, his brother isn't hanging around us the whole time, and he isn't sucked into his xbox.

  • No its understandable you feel that way. It's not wrong but it is part of a relationship to compromise a little think of your partner and their feelings. Iam not trying to defend him but if your tired then your tired. What's worse is he will feel crabby too.
    Your upset and rightly so but he couldn't help it. Cut your man a little slack and simply talk about it when your on better terms.

  • He's tired (and for good reason) and he's sick. The fact that he fell asleep is totally normal and I think you could've been much more understanding.

    I mean, surely he'd have preferred to not be sick and tired, and to spend fun time with you, right? But that's not the hand he was dealt tonight.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're like the worst person in the world or something. LOL. But I do think you owe him an apology.

    • I get being tired and needing a nap. But when you've been home since 2 and you had like 6 hours to get a nap and choose not to and then come over and sleep for 5 hours I just think that is kind of disrespectful. Naps are anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours max. Anything more than that and you're actually having deep sleeping which you should just be home sleeping then.

  • If you have cold life sucks, if you got to work every day and deal with cold life really sucks. When I'm sick I sleep, I'm not being rude I just need sleep as I'm exhausted. Sleep Allows people to actually function and if you have to work early hours you need all the sleep you can get. So your over reacting.

  • Rude💁🏻💁🏻


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