Why are the guys here so obsessed with getting women to approach men?

Women for the most part don't need to approach guys. They will get dates and male attention regardless. It seems very feminine to me when a guy wants a female to have the courage to ask him out. Get it out of your heads that desirable women want to ask you out. Do it yourselves.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I actually prefer that they dont. I'd hate being approached randimly and then having to crush them having to turn down girls that I'm not interested in. Plus if women started asking guys out, theyd probably only approach hot guys because when you don't know someone, their appearance is all you have to go on.

    With guys being the ones who ask girls out you get to choose who you want instead of having to choose from the narrow pool of people who asked you out. Also it gives guys who may not be the best looking a chance to win the girl over with personality.

    The only thing I hate is if girls play hard to get/purposely act disinterested even if they aren't or girls who expect to be wined and dined and for the guy to pat for everything.

    Also if women complain, I hate it when girls whine about how the guy she wants won't ask her out. Either ask him out or move on.

    Otherwise I don't really care if women ask guys out.


What Girls Said 1

  • "It seems very feminine to me when a guy wants a female to have the courage to ask him out."

    *hugs you*


What Guys Said 7

  • I think it's because of the equality movements that are currently going rampant.

    The reason why so many women don't "need" to ask anybody out is because so many guys are doing it for them. If all men suddenly stopped asking women out then everybody would be single, or some women would start asking men out.

    And I personally don't see anything wrong with women taking what they want instead or hoping and waiting for that person to come along, which often never happen, hence why they don't get the relationship they actually want.

  • I think what most of us are trying to say is that girls can ask guys out, lots refuse to do it. There are constantly questions on here like "How do I make him ask me out?" or "Why hasn't he asked me out yet?" There's a simple solution to that.

  • Because girls want guys to do all the work in the beginning and it's bullshit. We're supposed to analyze the 'hints' to know whose interested in us, make the first move and pay for the dates. The majority of time it will be a failure and it gets tiring to always be the one putting in 90% of the work. Guys don't get positive feedback like women do, it's ridiculous that were expected to just keep on motivating ourselves to keep putting ourselves out there when nobody makes their interest in us known and the signals are so unclear.

    • And frankly I am sick of women who come on this site asking how to motivate a guy to ask them out. It's so fucking ridiculous it makes me want to slam my head into the wall.

  • See, I think hypothetically women approaching men would be better. In reality, I think it'd suck a little, but just think of it this way.
    Most men will say yes to most women, as is the nature of how men work. Most women, however, reject most men which leads to broken hearts, bitterness, and eventually the kind of callousness that makes a guy view women as targets instead of people. Does it not make more sense, then, that women ask the men, as this reduces the chance of being rejected, which in turn reduces how much inter-gender hatred there is. Less woman/man-hating means more people are dateable which means more relationships are formed

    C'mon, tell me I'm wrong. I'm happily single and I can still do relationships better than you cunts.

    • I don't get mad when I'm rejected, I just move on.

    • So do I, that's the nature of playing the field, but some delicate flowers take it personally and grow to hate women because they can't get any puss.

  • I blame it on parents not loving their children. You don't love your kids then this happens.

  • I can't speak for other men, but for me personally it's a mix of things.
    Us men are expected to take initiative and approach women as women have the upper hand in terms of being approached (ad absurdum, a trip to the grocery store and back results in 50 compliments, 45 approaches, and 37 date offers). Us men are supposed to know exactly what kinds of "signs" are indicators that women may or may not be interested in us, all the while those signs are completely arbitrary and for many we more often end up with false positives than actual positives on detecting the signs - let alone act on it.

    All the while, plenty of women complain about being approached by men when they don't want it or apparently weren't giving "signs", complain about why some men don't pick up the signs and why they won't just talk to said women as they "should", etc.

    Silly as I am, I'd rather not take the high risk of inconveniencing others by approaching them when they don't want to. I wouldn't halt other random men walking down the street clearly in a hurry just to start a lengthy conversation just because I feel like doing so, either.
    I don't even care about the rejection itself on my end, that's part of life.

    If a woman is clear enough about her hypothetical interest in me, I don't mind doing the approaching/asking her out or something. But, in my experience even continuous physical contact on her end is far from a guaranteed interest. Hell, I ended up making out with some women at parties and they weren't interested in dating. If all that is no good indication, how can I consider a smile or looking more than a second in my direction as "clear" signs? I just don't know what kind of "signs" are close enough to a guaranteed interest for me to act upon anymore.
    Which brings us back to about the one most guaranteed thing: them approaching me and asking me out.
    I'm clear with my interest, even have had several times I straight-out told a woman I like her. False positives with me would be rare.

    By no means am I obsessed though, nor meaning to whine about it. But, I simply no longer feel like being the one putting in 99% of the actual effort as I'd rather have it be 50/50; much like I'd want a relationship to be like, equal effort and investment and all that.
    Instead, I focus on myself, do things I enjoy doing and have the whole dating on the back burner for now. No risk of causing discomfort to others, no wasted energy nor time (or money), almost guaranteed enjoyment, etc.

  • When I was 18-20 I approached women first but after that I never had to. It's better when they approach you, there's no nonsense or game playing. They have already decided about you and as long as you don't completely screw it up things will progress without a hitch.